"Transformers: Dark of the Moon"

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Directed by Michael Bay, written by Ehren Kruger, starring Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and John Turturro - Rated PG-13

Stuff blows up and giant robots kill each other, just enjoy it.

The fighting robots are back this summer and once again, a whole lot of stuff gets blown up as they duke it out for Earth’s future. Transformers: Dark of the Moon marks the third film in the series and while it doesn’t measure up to the first film, it is an improvement over the second (a film that I enjoyed a bit more than most critics). Dark of the Moon may run a bit long (it clocks in at a whopping 157 minutes) but it still provides plenty of bang for your buck this summer.

Dark of the Moon picks up a few years after the second film and most everyone has moved on to bigger and better things except Sam (Shia LaBeouf) who can’t land a job and isn’t allowed to help out his robot buddies. But of course he can’t stay out of the mix for long and eventually everyone comes together again to attempt to save the world. That’s a plain description of the plot, and there is quite a bit going on in this movie, but everyone is really showing up for the action, not the story.

The action of the previous film was problematic at times because it was hard to tell just what was going on most of the time. That problem has been fixed for the most part. While parts of the film just have too much going on, you can at least tell who is winning each fight this time around. Most importantly, though, this is a big budget film and all the money is right there on the screen. There are some great action set pieces and the last forty-five minutes of the movie is full of crazy, ridiculous action. Director Michael Bay is on his action game with this one. The 3D was pretty decent as well. This is a movie that makes the IMAX 3D ticket worth the price. But the film is also fine in 2D.

The film also tries to provide a few laughs and succeeds a few times, though most of it ends up being a bit on the childish side, most notably the small robots. The rest of the laughs are provided by the goofy side characters. John Turturro, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Francis McDormand, Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, and John Malkovich all ham it up to bring a few laughs. It’s all about your personal taste, but I found Tudyk and Malkovich to be the funniest. And Sam’s parents were thankfully toned down in this movie after their ridiculous outing in the last film.

Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson both show up again, but LaBeouf is the only actor who gets a character to work with. No big deal, a large cast means more one note characters, but Sam has become a whiny jerk this time around. He whined a bit in the first two films, but it was okay since he was young and still a student. This time he’s supposed to be a full-fledged adult and he just complains constantly, blaming everyone but himself for his troubles. He was more annoying than funny. Some of his freak-outs are humorous, though.

The part of the cast that is getting the most attention in the press is Rosie Huntington-Whitely, a.k.a. Megan Fox’s replacement. It’s understandable that the filmmakers would crack a joke or two about Fox’s departure, but they go into overkill showing off their new hot girl. Also, the addition of Patrick Dempsey in a side plot with the replacement is just strange.

Dark of the Moon is very entertaining but the length of it could be a major issue for some, especially if you’re watching it in 3D. Your eyes might start to feel the strain after an hour and a half or so. The film could easily drop thirty non-action minutes. Some of the new love interest stuff could go and maybe a few of the comedic roles could have been trimmed down a bit.
A movie that overstays its welcome isn’t a bad movie, however, and Dark of the Moon should please most viewers. It can be a bit goofy and everything but there is plenty of awesome action and the visual effects are top notch. You get your money’s worth and that’s about the best thing a summer movie can do.

Random Thoughts (SPOILERS)

Maybe it's just because I'm a fan of his work in "Eastbound & Down," but I thought Andrew Daly's short scenes were great. His reaction to Ken Jeong's death was hilarious.
Speaking of which, Ken Jeong dies! After getting my hopes up in The Hangover Part II, this is the film that delivers the goods. He wasn't all that bad in the film, but I am seriously suffering from Jeong overload at this point and it was nice to see him take an early exit.

Nice to see Chicago get destroyed for a change. Not nice, necessarily, but I'm tired of watching New York, L.A., and D.C. get blown up.

The little robots taking down the giant ship reminded me of Anakin at the end of Star Wars: Episode I. By the way, did they die? The ship didn't blow up or anything so they may have survived but it is never shown.

Anyone else think Optimus was a dick for killing Megatron after Megatron had just saved him? The guy was offering a truce and Optimus rips his head off. Now that's diplomacy.

"RED"

RED - Directed by Robert Schwentke, written by Jon Hoeber and Erich Hoeber, starring Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Brian Cox, and Karl Urban - Rated PG-13

The Kurgan is cool with the elderly kicking some ass, hell, he's hundreds of years old himself.

I read the graphic novel of RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous) as soon as I heard that it was to become a movie starring Bruce Willis. Willis seemed perfect for the grim story of Frank (Paul in the comic) Moses, a tough retired CIA operative forced back into action. I was excited because the graphic novel is filled with brutal action peppered with references to CIA black ops. Well, the film RED is a bit different, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing…well, I guess it is if you’re married to the source material (which I wasn’t).

This film is not grim and the violence is PG-13. Sometimes the censoring of an action film to get the teens in bothers me, but RED is fun enough that I forgive it. Instead of the dark solo mission of the comic, RED is more of an elderly operative reunion movie, and I mean that in the best possible way.

The story goes like this: Frank Moses is attempting to live a quiet, retired life. But he’s bored. His only enjoyment comes from talking to the customer service lady (Mary-Louise Parker) who deals with his pension checks (Frank keeps ripping them up so he has a valid excuse to call). Suddenly a death squad is sent after him in suburbia, so he kidnaps the customer service lady/love interest and heads off to find out why someone tried to kill him.

Willis is joined by former friends and foes such as Morgan Freeman, Brian Cox, Helen Mirren, and John Malkovich. Richard Dreyfuss and Karl Urban are also tossed in for good measure. Needless to say, the cast is quite impressive. I could write a few paragraphs talking about all of their moments, but I’ll just stick with my favorites. Malkovich was my favorite part of the movie, period. Some of his wacky dialogue was a bit over the top, sure, but the crazed faces he makes throughout had me laughing consistently. Cox was fun as well as a former Russian agent. I also enjoyed Freeman’s appearance in the film, but he doesn’t factor into the movie nearly as much as the previews and the poster might lead you to believe. In fact, Cox (who I didn’t even know was in this until he showed up) has a larger role than Freeman.

The previews do deliver on one thing, though: ridiculous action. Don’t take that the wrong way; I was completely okay with the crazy action scenes in this movie: literally shooting a house to pieces, sniper-worthy precision with a grenade launcher, a hand gun versus an RPG, etc. I dug all of that wackiness. I was okay with it all because the tone of the film allowed it. This is not meant to be some realistic, gritty action movie. It’s meant to be fun, and it is.

RED isn’t a complete blast, though. It does suffer from an overlong running time, or at least long for this type of film. It’s cheesy at times, mainly during scenes involving Mary-Louise Parker. Nothing against Parker’s performance; it’s really just a character thing. I was hoping for more CIA humor as well. There are plenty of casual comments about killing people, but I wanted references to actual (or at least rumored) covert CIA operations. In other words, I was hoping for a slightly smarter film. And the score was kind of annoying at times. In a movie like this the score is something that should not be noticed, but multiple times this stupid happy-go-lucky music would be playing during an already goofy scene. It was just overkill.

There is another factor that works for this movie, though: Bruce Willis. I’ve barely mentioned the star of the entire film. He isn’t breaking any new ground in this film, sure, but the guy is a star for a reason. I’m always up for seeing Willis kill roomfuls of random enemies; he’s just fun to watch. Sure, it would’ve been great to see him face off with a specific villain (the “bad guy” role is vague at best in this film), but Willis does have a few excellent moments opposite Karl Urban. Their office fight was great and that scene in which he steps out of a spinning car, while completely stupid and disrespectful to the laws of physics, was still pretty awesome.

RED might not be the dark, brutal action movie some people were hoping for; in fact, I can imagine some people absolutely hating it. If you’re expecting a faithful adaptation, you’ll most likely despise it. (Just check out the film’s message board on IMDb.com for evidence.) If you’re expecting realism, you might even walk out. But RED is just good old-fashioned (emphasis on “old”) fun. It’s crazy, ridiculous, and funny. Lighten up and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Random Thoughts (SPOILERS)

So, kind of a bummer that Morgan Freeman gets killed off, twice. It was just kind of strange since they were all so happy and goofy at the end. I had to laugh when Parker says something along the lines of, "It all worked out." Yeah, except for Morgan Freeman, you heartless slag!

Seriously, you can't just step out of a spinning car like that.

Julian McMahon is not old enough to play a character that was a lieutenant in the Army back in 1981. Assuming he was 20 (and I'm not sure if that's a possible age to reach that rank), that would make him 49. McMahon himself is only 42 and they didn't age him for this movie. It was just kind of weird.

Cool to see Ernest Borgnine still rocking on the big screen.

It seems way too easy to break into the super secret records room in Langley. Just kick in the drywall right next to the door and there you have it. Yeah, I know, definitely not the dumbest part of this movie, but still.

And finally, this weird coincidence: Brian Cox starred in a movie called Red with Tom Sizemore in 2008.