But I’m not alone, which is why this has seen special editions over the years, culminating in this release from Arrow. You can tell they are in on the joke by the image on the front of the collectible booklet of a slice of pizza and scissors. It’s as if they're saying, “Yeah, we know this is pretty stupid, but you dorks keep buying this shit, so let’s have some fun.”
All this is to say I don’t have some revisionist take on this movie in relation to the ‘80s or the action genre. It’s just an okay Stallone movie from the ‘80s with a few unique touches. If you want something deeper, then by all means buy this and listen to the two commentaries from critics and historians or read the multiple essays in the booklet. I’m just going to get into a few random thoughts and the special features.
Random Thoughts / Favorite Quotes
Multiple dudes in suits are at the last cult meeting. How did that recruitment go?
“Hey, random businessman, want to join my axe cult?”
“Maybe…what do you guys do?”
“We stand around and clang axes together.”
“When and where is the next meeting?”
“Not many people can put up with how I live.” No shit, you cutting-pizza-with-scissors and gun-cleaning-kit-in-an-egg-carton weirdo. Go fall asleep in your bedroom with a giant neon Pepsi sign right outside.
You know, for the leader of an axe cult, the leader is way too into knives.
That police sketch is hilarious, but you know, if I saw that, and I ran into Brian Thompson out in the wild, I would recognize him from it.
This movie is so weird about food. There’s this moment with Cobra and Gonzales picking over Neilsen's hospital food leftovers.
I wonder if the Seinfeld writers got the Kenny Roger's Roasters idea from the giant neon Pepsi sign outside of Cobra's apartment.
On the food note, Cobra offers a bite of his apple. Is this something people do?
“He sure is great at catching psychos.”
The attempt at comedy in this movie is so fucking bad. I do love that image of Cobra holding a giant burger, though.
“I want some answers!”
“When you get them, let me know.”
Even Cobra himself doesn't know what the fuck is going on in this movie.
The John Cafferty song at the end is great.
Transfer and Special Features
Arrow releases always look great, and this is no exception. It’s one of those that kind of feels wrong to look this good.
A lot of the special features are archival, but I had never seen them. Most of the interviews are good, and Brian Thompson’s is the standout. It’s great how candid everyone is with this film, pointing out how Stallone had just as much, if not more, power on the set as director George P. Cosmatos. You get a sense from everyone that this film was surprisingly loose, and if you could get Stallone’s attention, then changes could be made.
The Interviews
Brian Thompson's archival interview is great and candid. Hates George Cosmatos (nicknamed George “Comatose”) to the point that he says, “I should really say something nice about George Cosmatos…but I can’t think of anything.”
He confirms that it was a mess, and even he didn't know much about his character.
Marco Rodríguez talks about Stallone basically being the director. Cosmatos would say things, but Stallone had the final word on everything.
Andrew Davis says his character was originally going to be revealed to be a cult member with a huge satanic tattoo on his chest. Davis talked Stallone out of it by pointing out that so many characters had already been killed, so why not just punch him out so Davis doesn't have to get the makeup for the tattoo done.
Davis flat out says he didn't like the script.
It must've been absolutely fucking nuts on that set.
Davis didn't like the movie, but it did pay for his house that he lives in to this day.
Art LaFleur also says Stallone was a co-director.
He said he didn't get to know Brigitte Nielsen well because “Stallone was getting it on with her.”
The TV Edit
Perhaps the most unique feature is the inclusion of the TV edit of the film, which is presented in standard definition and 4:3 format. They included it because some extra scenes were added. I was hoping for some major changes, but it’s just a bit more stuff with Brian Thompson, like showing him at work cutting up fish. And there’s a scene with a kid delivering a box that contains a victim’s severed hands to the police. It’s an interesting watch for weirdos like me, but it’s not like some wildly different director’s cut or anything. But I’m glad that Arrow gets stuff like this.
The Commentaries and Pizza Scissors
I only listened to the commentaries during the pizza cutting scene to see if there were any insights about the film’s most famous scene. One commentary claims it's an Italian thing because Scorsese's mother cut pizza with scissors on Letterman. But she said it was because her mother-in-law taught her to do this to avoid scratching the pan. It still doesn't make sense to just cut a little piece off the end of a leftover slice.
Another commentary suggests it's just an example of showing what a fucking weirdo Cobra is, and I like that explanation more.
Cosmatos is more in the camp of it just being an example of Cobra being a weirdo. He does express regret for not getting some kind of pizza product placement. Hell, why not? It would go great with the giant Pepsi sign.
Another mystery of the film is the gangbanger’s exposed mic near the beginning of the film. Cosmatos confirms that the exposed mic is in fact a mistake. Others have wondered if it was Cobra exposing the guy as a narc. But no, it's a mistake that Cosmatos claimed no one would notice unless he pointed it out. Perhaps true back when I watched this on my floor model Zenith, but it’s pretty fucking clear now.