Alien - Ranked

For the fifteen of you who regularly visit this site, you know the drill: I can’t just watch one entry in a franchise anymore without watching everything, and if I’m going to devote that much time to a series, then I’m going to rank it in an attempt to get tens of clicks. 

I love the Alien franchise, even if I am a little late to the game. Growing up, I don’t think I watched any of them. In fact, when Alien vs. Predator came out, I think it may have technically been only the second Alien movie I had ever seen. Thankfully, I was able to remove my head from my ass and embrace the series. There’s only one movie on this list that I actually dislike, and I still own that one, too, so I enjoyed revisiting all of these. I even watched both the theatrical and unrated/director’s/Special Edition/Assembly Cut versions of all of these this time around, so, where applicable, I’ll also mention which version I prefer. (And if you don’t own the quadrilogy and physical releases of the AVP movies, just keep an eye out for when the series is on Max, which has the alternate cuts under the Extras tab.)

1. Alien

The eternal sci-fi dork question: “Which do you like more, Alien or Aliens?” For me, it’s always been Alien. The mood and tension created by Scott in that film is masterful. I could watch hours of tracking shots through the Nostromo. Add to that the grimy future in which a bunch of space truckers have to fight an alien, and you have one of my favorite films of all time. 

Theatrical or “Director’s Cut”: Ridley Scott introduces the director’s cut by basically saying it’s not a director’s cut, and that the studio just wanted him to make a new cut so they could call it that. He considers the theatrical cut the best version, and so do I. I do like the extended argument about Ripley not opening the airlock, and seeing Dallas and Brett cocooned is cool (though it doesn’t make much sense as there’s no way for them to be impregnated, maybe the xenomorph was saving them on the off chance it found some eggs). But the director’s cut shortens those tracking shots I love, so from here on out, I’m sticking with theatrical.

2. Aliens

Truly one of the best sequels of all time largely because it has no interest in recreating the original. Cameron wanted to make an action movie instead of a horror movie to awesome effect. Assembling a great group of characters and even better actors made the seemingly impossible possible: Cameron made a fun Alien movie.

Theatrical or Special Edition: I’ve seen people shit on the Special Edition for the early scene at the settlement, claiming it ruins the suspense when the Marines show up later. Maybe that’s true the first time you watch this, but come on, who seriously watches this and thinks that everything at the settlement is probably going great? Aside from that, the most important addition was Ripley’s daughter, who lived an entire life and died while Ripley was in cryosleep. Maybe this makes her surrogate motherhood of Newt too obvious, but it works better on me (maybe I’m just a dumbass, though), so I’m a Special Edition guy. And of course Cameron is too; dude never made a movie he didn’t think needed thirty more minutes.

3. Prometheus

And now I’ve lost some of you. I don’t care. I love this movie. At this point in the series, they had milked the Ripley character and the xenomorphs all that they possibly could. So instead of returning to that well, Scott instead decided to connect the series to the origin of humanity. I can see why people found it unnecessary or silly or stupid, but I was on board from the very beginning with this one. And Michael Fassbender as David is the perfect element that puts this above everything but the first two films for me. 

Shockingly, there’s no other cut of this one.

4. Alien³

And I’ve lost the rest of you. Sure, the behind the scenes drama is arguably more interesting than the movie itself, but I’ve always dug Fincher’s vision. To go from the guns blazing adrenaline shot of Aliens to this dour, gun-less nihilistic take is a bold choice, and I’m all for it. 

Theatrical or Assembly Cut: There are those that find the theatrical cut unwatchable and claim the Assembly Cut saves the film. I certainly prefer the Assembly Cut, but I don’t hate the theatrical cut like many do. I find it a little confusing at times, but the overall mood and aesthetic of the film is intact. But yeah, the Assembly Cut is far and away the better version.

5. Alien: Covenant

I’m still disappointed that this is only half a sequel to Prometheus, and the most interesting parts happened between movies or in a brief flashback. But overall, this is a good combination of what the series was and what Scott turned it into. And Fassbender in a dual role is simply a delight. 

There is only the theatrical cut of this film.

6. Alien: Romulus

I wrote more in depth about the film here. But basically, a couple fan service moments really took me out of it, but the overall look of the movie and the simple focus on survival made it enjoyable for me, though nothing special.

There is only the theatrical cut of this one, for now.

7. Alien: Resurrection

I hated this the first time I saw it, but I come around on it a bit more each time I watch it. I appreciate the hardcore sci-fi turn they took setting it two hundred years farther into the future. It’s a bit goofier and nastier than all the other movies, but you can’t claim it didn’t go for something new. But it’s low on my list because it’ll always be the movie in which Ripley fucking dunked a basketball.

Theatrical or Special Edition: Much like with the first film, Jeunet says the theatrical is his preferred cut and this was just made for the Quadrilogy release. The main differences I clocked were a silly CG bug opening, a couple references to Newt, and an extended ending showing a destroyed Paris. None of it added much for me. I’m okay with watching the theatrical cut if that’s all that’s available to me, but I guess if the Special Edition is an option, I’ll take it.

8. Alien vs. Predator 

Don’t be fooled by this low ranking; I actually like this stupid shit. It helps that I don’t take it seriously, and I don’t consider it to be truly part of the franchise. It definitely takes itself a little too seriously and takes too long setting up characters we all know are destined to be chestbursted or…um…Predatorized, but there’s still fun to be had with this one, even if it is more of a Predator than an Alien movie. 

Theatrical or Unrated: This one caught some extra shit for being PG-13 when the two series it was mashing up were exclusively R, and I agree with the criticism. They attempted to mend this with an unrated DVD that includes a promise of “more violence” on the back. The unrated cut fixes this a little bit with some CG blood and few slightly more gruesome elements, but this is still far too tame for this showdown. But yeah, if I’m watching this, I’m going unrated every time.

9. Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

The only movie on this list I don’t like and don’t want to ever see again. I like the premise of the fight taking place in a small town, and there’s plenty of gruesome shit in this, but it’s all so dark it might as well be PG-13-level violence. Also, this should be more fun, but it’s just a slog, and when I can’t even tell what’s going on in the slog, then it’s something I’d rather not watch again.

Theatrical or Unrated: I really don’t care. The back of this DVD promised “more gore,” but the only thing that would have interested me was “more light.” The unrated cut does show a young boy die from a chestburster if that’s something you want to see.

The Mixed Bag of Sci-Fi Nostalgia: Star Wars, Alien, and Blade Runner

(NewsRadio was originally going to be my next post, but I decided to postpone that and write something a bit more relevant since Blade Runner 2049 is coming out this week. NewsRadio is written and will be posted in a week or so.)

Nostalgia seems to be fueling the biggest movies and TV shows recently, and that is not going to change anytime soon thanks to the popularity of Star Wars returning to the original trilogy characters. Star Wars didn't start this trend or anything, but the massive success likely led to the greenlighting of new entries in other older properties. I can't help but think that Alien: Covenant was able to be made because of a promise to be more like the original Alien than the recent, divisive Prometheus. And based on the previews of Blade Runner 2049, it looks like the studio provided a huge budget; it's not a stretch to assume this is because of the Star Wars effect. While I love the resurgence of all these films I loved growing up, the nostalgia factor makes it a mixed bag (though I'm crazy optimistic for Blade Runner 2049). So is nostalgia helping or hurting the integrity of these franchises? Let's start with Star Wars.

The Force Awakens, many claim, gave the fans what they wanted whereas the prequels gave them what they didn't want. Not to get into a prequel vs. original trilogy debate, but one thing that can be said for the prequels is that they are different. For a lot of fans, that means they're terrible (I happen to hold them in the same regard as the original trilogy, but that's not the point). So when The Force Awakens came out, there was this collective sigh of relief: Star Wars was truly back. 

I enjoyed The Force Awakens, but the more I watched it, the more the nostalgia wore off. I still like it, but I also realize that it is an unapologetic rehash of A New Hope. People have pointed this out, but it seems like most give the film a pass. "Yeah, it's basically a remake, but, man, it really felt like Star Wars!" In other words, "Yeah, I've seen this movie before, but, man, it's a really good movie!" 

This is where I disagree with fans of The Force Awakens. Nostalgia is all about feeling, but I didn't think The Force Awakens felt like a Star Wars movie. It had all the right parts and whatnot, but it felt different. Not bad, just different. It's to the point now that I don't even consider that film's success the product of nostalgia; it was successful simply because of recognition. 

This is where the Alien and Blade Runner franchises come into play. Obviously nostalgia and recognition are part of the appeal (hell, Harrison Ford returns in Blade Runner, just like he did in Star Wars [PS - it's my theory that Ford is going through his most iconic characters and killing them off one by one; Deckard is probably going to die in the new Blade Runner, and he could also kill off Indiana Jones in the announced fifth film]), but one major difference with these two properties is that the original director, Ridley Scott, is heavily involved. Meanwhile, George Lucas, to the delight of most fans, has almost nothing to do with the new films. 

Scott's involvement is so important because he's not a fan. Everyone working on the new Star Wars films are fans, so, in essence, all the new stuff is fan fiction. Fan fiction can be good, but it will always feel a step removed. Just like Lucas was willing to do something vastly different (even if a lot of fans hated it), Scott can do whatever he wants with Alien and Blade Runner.

This has happened a bit already. The Alien prequel Prometheus, while certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, received a lot of negative blowback online. The film, in my opinion, has been nitpicked excessively possibly because it didn't deliver enough answers and/or the same experience of the first Alien film. The issue here is that Scott didn't set out to do either. Prometheus is not technically an Alien film as Scott has been following a multi-film plan to lead up to the original Alien. That's why there isn't a proper xenomorph in the film, and it's also why there are plenty of unanswered questions.

The more recent Alien: Covenant is different. It's as if Scott listened to the upset fans of Prometheus and tried to do two separate things: continue his multi-film plan and give the audience something very similar to the original Alien. I think the film accomplishes that, but that makes it the lesser of the two new films. I enjoyed the xenomorph sequence at the end of Covenant, but I was much more interested in the continued story from Prometheus. Pleasing fans is important, but when you give into them, it's like giving into a child who wants candy for dinner. Sure, the child will be full, but it's empty nourishment. Here's hoping that the next Alien film leans more towards Prometheus than Covenant. (To be clear, though, I really liked both movies.)

One thing that is undeniable about the Alien prequels is that Scott is still able to create the Alien atmosphere. Rewatching Alien recently, I realized that the atmosphere is why I love that first film more than Aliens. It's slow and brooding and effective. It also took what the original Star Wars presented (a futuristic sci-fi that looks lived rather than shiny and new) and perfected it. I recall Alien being described as truckers in space, and that's exactly what it is. This is best exemplified by the great Yaphet Kotto and Harry Dean Stanton (R.I.P.). How often in a film set on a spaceship do you have characters arguing about wages? All of these elements add up to a nearly perfect film. A film that could not be replicated today because of pacing alone. Look at Covenant; they essentially remade Alien in the last twenty minutes. Audiences don't have time for slow burn tension these days.

Perhaps Blade Runner 2049 will prove me wrong, though. With a running time nearing three hours and a director (Denis Villeneuve) who specializes in mood, this could be the film that gets it right. Blade Runner 2049 could placate fans and retain the atmospheric feeling of the original. 

Blade Runner 2049 may have found the perfect formula for nostalgic filmmaking. Rather than shutting out the original director, allow him to be involved in the process (as Scott is on 2049 as a producer) without giving him total control. Star Wars could benefit from George Lucas's input, as blasphemous as that might seem to certain fans. Don't let him go full prequel with it, but let him in on the process. The guy who started it all just might have a few ideas for where the story can go.

Back to Blade Runner, what made me fall in love with this film over the years was the mood and atmosphere. Judging it on face value, it's a boring film. (SPOILERS throughout the rest of this paragraph.) Deckard is very low energy and is no match against a replicant in a fight, and he only survives at the end because Batty lets him. It's not meant to be much of an action film, though. It's an atmospheric consideration of what life is, especially in a technologically advanced world. It's slow and beautiful. I don't rewatch it at least once a year for the badass action sequences; I watch it because I want to revisit the world of the film.

Of course, simply wanting to revisit the world of a film is what led to some of the problems with nostalgic filmmaking in the first place. I guess the best way to describe it is that The Force Awakens felt like I was looking at a picture of the Star Wars universe, and I hope that Blade Runner 2049 feels more like a return to the world. 

Based on early reviews for 2049, it appears that they got it right with this one. I hope so. Because nostalgia will continue to drive the content of Hollywood as long as it's profitable. Nostalgia doesn't have to be a bad thing. When done right, filmmakers might be able to recreate the magic of the past. I'll find out this weekend when I watch Blade Runner 2049.