Saw X is coming out soon, and all of the previous nine movies were available on streaming services I have access to, so I decided to rank all of these. I truly began regretting it during Saw IV, but I couldn’t let the time I had already committed to this go to waste, so I trudged on. But it wasn’t worth it. This series does not need this many entries, and the need to tie all of the first six or seven movies to a dead character made them convoluted to the point that I didn’t even try to understand what was happening in most of these. But I guess I’ll still watch the new one. At least that one finally decided to go full prequel (to parts II through Spiral) and sequel (to the original) so that Jigsaw is still alive, and is actually active rather than lying in a bed. I just hope there’s a scene in which he buys the hundred tape recorders needed for all the sequels.
Also, there’s a lot of cussing in this ranking because a lot of these movies made me mad and all of my Random Thoughts are written as I watch the movies. I’ve been cussing in my articles on this site for a while, but I go a bit overboard here.
1. Saw
When I rewatched this, I was underwhelmed by it. The twist is still decent, and the general set-up is interesting, but the execution of it all was too music video-like for me with all the quick cuts and sped up scenes. But when I look back at this one compared to the insanity that follows, it is easily my favorite just for the simplicity of it.
Random Thoughts
I do not like Leigh Whannell in this. I guess that's intentional, but he really gets on my nerves at the beginning. And some of his line delivery sounds like voice acting in video games from that era.
"My name is Lawrence Gordon. I'm a doctor." I bet he introduces himself like that no matter the scenario.
You can blame escape rooms on this movie.
I’ve always thought the puppet was much more funny than menacing, especially when it rolls out on a tricycle.
I guess your enjoyment of this series mainly depends on how much you like traps. I like traps a little, I guess. Maybe that’s why I skipped out on the last six of these.
“Hey, Leigh, I know your acting is already dogshit, but I need you to really lose any semblance of talent or skill for this fake death scene.”
Leigh’s character straight up lives in John Doe’s apartment from Se7en. Seriously, why is his apartment so horrible?
Using the camera flash to see in the dark was effectively creepy.
Also, the puppet is stupid, but that pig mask is kind of freaky.
“Zep, you perverted little psychopath!”
Danny Glover says, “What the fuck?” when his gun runs out of ammo, like he didn’t realize that was possible.
In defense of Leigh Whannell, Cary Elwes fucking sucks in this, too.
Apparently sawing off your own foot turns you into a Dickensian ghost.
2. Saw 3D
I was so exhausted by the series when I got to this one, but it somehow stood out among all the sequels because it made the traps fun and used victims I would want to see punished. I also liked the return of Cary Elwes, but he wasn’t used nearly enough. Honestly, if the movie was completely about him and his actions after the first film, then this would probably be my favorite overall.
Random Thoughts
So on certain platforms this is retitled Saw: The Final Chapter. So they wanted to get rid of the 3D in the title since that gimmick has faded (not to mention, it’s always weird to have a franchise with both a 3 and a 3D), so they go with The Final Chapter? Have they learned nothing from all the “final chapters” in every other horror series? These movies cannot end. And here we are now, with three movies after the “final chapter.” Why not just retitle it to Saw VII? Were they afraid the Roman numerals were getting too high for the audience to know them?
It took six sequels of backtracking and over-explaining to finally show what we’ve been mildly interested in from the get-go: what happened to Cary Elwes after he left the room? Was Elwes that hard to get back for one of these? Why wait so long?
Update: according to IMDb trivia, Elwes sued the filmmakers over his original salary, and he only came back after the lawsuit was settled out of court.
Now Jigsaw is just going after bad girlfriends?
I dig that it’s on display for the public, though. That’s a welcome change from the typical Freddy Krueger boiler room bullshit the series has been using the whole time.
“Is the chick who fucked me in your bed two days ago worth one of our lives?” Profound.
The cops show up and just try to hold the crowd back instead of, I don’t know, shooting out the fucking glass!
When the stupid puppet got sprayed with blood I laughed.
“You and your girlfriend and all your friends are racists.” Jigsaw is finally picking some good victims: cheating girlfriends and racists are a lot easier to watch get tortured than, say, a father grieving the death of his son.
Jigsaw’s message to the dude from Linkin Park was recorded on an 8 track tape. Come on, how was he able to do that? Who can just make an 8 track tape in the 2000s? The dude has used dozens of tape recorders at this point, and when he decides to branch out it’s with an 8 track tape?
The car trap was great. This is what the series should have been the whole time: fun. It took them six movies to finally have fun with this silly franchise.
This is the one with that infamous shot of Jigsaw wearing a backwards baseball cap to look young in a flashback. It’s definitely silly, but it’s not like they were trying to pass him off as a teenager or something.
Finally, a SWAT team shows up while the game is still happening.
3. Saw VI
If these movies could focus, they honestly wouldn’t be all that bad. But they are too busy trying to come up with flashbacks to justify Jigsaw still being on screen. Or they need to resolve multiple questions from the previous films. Or they need to set up new mysteries for the next movie. In doing all that, the filmmakers forget about the actual movie at hand. It’s like doing all your homework but skipping the test. What’s the point?
The attack on the heartlessness of insurance companies is about as subtle as one of Jigsaw’s traps, but I still like it. At least this portion of the film has a point and is trying to say something beyond, “You need to learn to appreciate life.” This is the first time I felt that Jigsaw’s victims were worthy of torture. Or not. I’m just in a dark place concerning insurance companies right now, and this shitty film scratched an itch.
Random Thoughts
I basically hate all these fucking movies, but at least this one is starting off by delivering on the torture porn label. The beginning shit was truly hard to watch. The previous two films had gore, sure, but a lot of it was too stupid to be disturbing or enjoyable.
So you make the choice to cut your arm off and you start with a knife when a cleaver is an option?
Making health insurance agents and an executive the villains is a great move. Give me someone to hate, other than Jigsaw. And who hasn’t been violently angry with a health insurance company?
“What am I supposed to learn from this?!” I’m with you, lady.
This movie has to show so many flashbacks to remind the audience who’s who that it’s comical.
“John’s dead. And his work is almost done.” Don’t make promises this never-ending series can’t keep, you boring motherfucker.
So this was all done as an alternative to methadone? Fuck off, Jigsaw. Your victims have no rhyme or reason. If someone doesn’t say “God bless you” when you sneeze they might end up in one of your traps, you asshat.
I don’t know why I’m still nitpicking this shit, but the trap with the insurance guy and the janitor (who’s being punished simply for being a smoker) requires one of them to die. Jigsaw himself set this one up since he’s in the video, so it’s not one of the copycat or apprentice traps. This one proves he is a murderer since one of these men has to die. By the way, how were either of them supposed to survive that one exactly? Hold their breath for a full hour? I can’t even figure out what the traps are at this point.
The next trap has the insurance fucker choosing which of his co-workers gets to live. The two workers are not there for any reason other than they work in the same office as this guy. So what is Jigsaw’s reasoning for one of them dying? What lesson will either of them learn from this? This series can’t even follow its own rules.
And there’s an easy fix to this one. Just make the guy think he’s choosing for one to die rather than actually killing the person. He’ll still go through the anguish of being face to face with a life and death decision, and no innocent person has to die.
“Follow the policy!” What a lame thing to yell out before you die.
4. Saw II
For a series known for its traps, these traps are kind of lame. The pit of hypodermic needles was cool, but most of the rest are plain or forgettable. Gunshot through a peephole, an incinerator? Big deal. Give me some Rube Goldberg stuff. But yeah, I hate needles, and that scene has stuck with me through the years while nothing else has.
But I guess elaborate traps would be a waste, since the group inside is sabotaged at every turn by the muscled up dude who just wants to break down doors and punch holes in the wall. What’s the point in designing something cool when you’ve written a fuckhead like that into your script? That character was the perfect scapegoat for the writers and a punishment for the audience.
Random Thoughts
The original was a slight rip off of Cube, but this one went all in. But, you know, did it much worse than that movie.
Man, Jigsaw is really fucking mad about having cancer. I mean, this is a ton of work to be doing while you’re dying. Some people accept their fate and make the most of their final days. Jigsaw designs elaborate traps and gets people to help capture multiple people and forces them to play his “game.” It’s impressive. Evil, but impressive, too.
Jigsaw fuckin’ hates snitches.
You know the acting was bad in the first one when you excitedly think, “Hey, they got Donnie Wahlberg for this one!”
“I’ve been drunk. I spent three years in college.” I like this guy. I hope he dies first.
Update: Yes!
“Those of you familiar with the Tokyo subway attacks…” Damn, Jigsaw, I have to do horrific torture shit to myself and keep with current events. Fuck you!
Shawnee Smith claims Jigsaw took her again because she was hurting herself. But I think it was her new haircut.
Chekhov’s nail bat. You knew that was going into the back of someone’s head.
This has got to be the only movie in which a cancer patient is savagely beaten, and the audience is supposed to be at least a little okay with it.
“You will find your son in a safe and secure place.” I see what you did there, Jigsaw, you jokester.
So if a Wahlberg could just resist being a hothead for a couple fucking hours, then he and his son would be fine? Impossible.
5. Jigsaw
I started to like this one because it felt like a standalone entry for a half hour or so. But then it just had to tie it all back to the beginning again, and it lost me.
Random Thoughts
"Which one of you assholes shot him in the chest?"
I'm sure it'll be part of some dumbass twist, but I like how the one dude at the beginning dies basically because he didn't wake up when the others did. That would be me, dying in one of Jigsaw's traps by overstepping.
"No, that's not creepy at all." It actually isn't. I've always found the puppet much more funny than scary.
"Sweetheart. Lollipop." When is this douchebag going to get desperate for new degrading nicknames and just call her "sugartits"?
When the detective is asking about the pathologist, his army buddy says that he had been captured in Fallujah, but not before "taking out three Taliban." Those are two different wars.
These movies are at their weakest when they rely on autopsies for gore.
They literally dig up Jigsaw's grave in this one. If that's not a metaphor for this overlong franchise, I don't know what is.
This had my interest for about half the movie, and then I just wanted them to reveal the stupid twist and get it over with.
And surprise, surprise: Jigsaw had another accomplice the whole time that we're just now meeting. Fuck this shit.
The dumbest thing about the series is how Jigsaw is presented as this religious figure that turns everyone he meets into his devoted follower. Cops, junkies, shitty X-ray techs, they're all just bumbling through life until they meet this raspy old bitch, and then they become members of a murder cult.
I wish they had never done all these flashback reveals and just made the killer a new copycat every time. You could still find a reason to shoehorn in a Tobin Bell flashback. If they had gone that route then maybe these movies could be their own stories instead of always having to find some convoluted connection to the original.
But what do I know? I'm just a dildo actually watching all these fucking things.
6. Spiral
Good for them for finally moving on from Tobin Bell, even if they’re bringing him back in the new one. At least there was an effort with this one.
Technically this is what I asked for from this series after Jigsaw, but I should have been more specific. I still want the focus on the traps and shit, just no Tobin Bell. I'm so tired of the cops in this series. Who watches these movies and thinks, “Why aren’t there more scenes in the police station?”
Random Thoughts
This movie can fuck right off with that bullshit "From the Book of Saw" they added after the fact to the title to make sure all the dumbasses knew this was a Saw movie.
And what the fuck is the "book" of Saw? It's as stupid as The Book of Boba Fett. This is a visual medium; stop calling it a book to try to sound smart or classy or whatever.
I like Rock, but I just do not buy him as a renegade cop going through a divorce getting yelled at by the chief like it's 1987.
"I been staring at this shit for five hours. I don't even watch porn that long." Who the fuck does?
I hope the killer ends up being Samuel L. Jackson for some dumbass reason.
So is this supposed to be the same police department as the other movies? If so, it looks completely different and there's no one still there from previous films. To be fair, though, a bunch of cops died in one of these, and that dude set the police department on fire in that one. So…good call, Spiral?
I take back the Samuel Jackson thing. I hope Rock's the killer.
Actually, I hope Rock and Jackson are both the killers, but somehow they don't know they don't know about each other being the killer. Let's get real stupid with this.
Rock wearing a backwards cap in a flashback has to be a reference to Jigsaw wearing one in Saw 3D.
And it was the new guy. Fucking lame.
7. Saw III
When I watched this when it originally came out I turned it off and gave up on the series in general when I got to the scene of rotting pig carcasses being dropped into a grinder, with the…uh…juices being used to drown someone. I remember being tired of the “torture porn” genre in general at this point and thinking, “This is what it’s come to, just watching animal carcasses being mulched up?” With years between these viewings, I still think it’s a mediocre movie, but I felt compelled to watch the whole thing this time.
This is just a messy movie in more ways than one. And it’s lame every time Jigsaw pulls out yet another tape recorder to play a message, proving all this sloppy bullshit was somehow by design. And that’s my main problem with these bottom three entries: this stupid need to make it all an elaborate plan staged by a dead man. They just keep retconning stuff to make it work to the point that Jigsaw had a dozen people working for him when he died. It’s just ridiculous and, more importantly, it isn’t fun to watch.
Random Thoughts
The first half hour of this feels like the ending and beginning of two separate films. Every time I start to think the story is beginning, things switch to a completely unrelated character.
I wasn’t a father the first time I saw this, so the dead son stuff didn’t resonate much with me. Now, though, it had me far more invested than in the previous two films.
The tone is set right out of the gate with a man screaming, “You fucking bitch! I’ll fucking kill you!” repeatedly. You just know you’re in for a fun time.
The sound effect of Donnie smashing his foot is ridiculously squishy. You’d think his foot was a garbage bag filled with lube based on that noise. And yeah, I do know what a garbage bag filled with lube sounds like when you smash it. Don’t tell me how to live my life.
This one annoys me mainly for its run time of 108 minutes. True torture would be one of these goddamned things lasting two hours.
Every time Angus Macfadyen yells all I can think about is him screaming at his leper dad in Braveheart.
He claims the test is for Jeff to learn to forgive the driver that killed his son. “Jeff, I’ve designed multiple horrific torture devices to teach you the power of forgiveness.” What the fuck are we doing here, Jigsaw?
There is a legit scene in this movie of Angus Macfadyen doing a drunk version of the Travis Bickle “You talkin’ to me?” scene from Taxi Driver. Now I’m back on board with this one.
Macfadyen went to the Gerard Butler American Accent Institute for Scottish Actors (you know, the GBAAISA). Just let these bastards be Scottish in movies. Just have them say, “When I moved here from Scotland…” at some point and problem solved!
“I’m a human just like your son was.” “‘Was’?” I know he’s dead, but he’s still a person.
Burn the only belongings I have left of my dead son or let the shithead judge who let the killer off easy die? How is this even a choice, Jigsaw? Maybe the twist at the end makes this more compelling or something. We’ll see.
But I have to tell you, Jigsaw, if I’m in Macfadyen’s shoes, this little tour of all the people who played a part in my son’s death and the release of his killer isn’t torture at all. It’s a fucking fun house for my vengeance. Thanks for setting it up, you crazy cancerous bastard. (PS I know this is technically all Amanda’s plan, but it’s funnier to talk shit to Jigsaw.)
Dude, if you’re going to save the guy being drowned in mulched up pig carcasses, do it before you have to get down in the muck, too.
The editing of this film, in which going over files or preparing for a surgery features a series of jump cuts and sound effects, makes it seem like the movie is bored with itself at times.
“I don’t condone murder. I just like setting up elaborate traps that make it easy for people to kill themselves. It’s the traps doing the killing, not me.”
So the gist of this one is that Jigsaw isn’t a good judge of character since he picked Amanda to be his successor but she’s just a murderer?
Saw III: Jigsaw’s Shitty Protege
“Though you may not see any threat.” His wife is wearing a metal collar with multiple shotgun shells on it pointed at her head. If he doesn’t see a threat, he’s fucking blind.
Jigsaw must have a whole closet full of those stupid tape recorders in his workshop. It was comical when it’s revealed that he’s been holding one in bed this entire time. Does he have a podcast studio where he spends all day making these tapes?
But seriously, to try to claim that the ending was by Jigsaw’s design is idiotic. He knew Amanda would only wound Lynn and not shoot her in the head? He knew Jeff would shoot Amanda? And why is he so obsessed with Jeff forgiving people? Who fucking cares if this guy forgives anyone? You wanted him to forgive people, yet you left Amanda in charge of all the traps, so all the people Jeff needed to forgive died even if he forgave them and tried to save them? (Except the judge, who was just standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or was that fucking planned, too?) What is anyone supposed to really learn here? I just hate that Jigsaw is presented as this evil, calm genius of what it means to be alive when he’s just a masochist dildo with a tape recorder and an unstable assistant.
8. Saw V
If they could just let some time pass in this series maybe it could feel fresh or interesting. But their need to keep Jigsaw sort of alive for the events of the movie make things more ridiculous and convoluted to the point that it’s impossible to follow and/or care about the twists or plot in general.
Random Thoughts
Jigsaw is getting fucking lazy and just ripping off Poe with this first trap. It is the fifth film, and he’s been dead for two movies now, so I guess I should give him a break. (I know he didn’t actually do this one, but who fucking cares at this point? It’s all Jigsaw, no matter who’s actually designing these things.)
Tobin Bell must have the record for most time spent on screen playing a corpse.
“Where’s my dad? Where’s my mom?” Yeah, Jigsaw and assorted underlings, where are the little girl’s parents? You fuckheads and your obsession with making people “live a true life” sure end up killing and irreparably damaging a lot of innocent bystanders.
Or let me guess, she ends up being the new Jigsaw in about fifteen more movies. And it was all part of the plan!
New Jigsaw makes little dioramas of his traps? What a fucking loser.
This whole series has become one big retcon explaining all the previous traps and victims and Jigsaw apprentices. But in explaining and adding so much backstory, it’s turned into a giant convoluted mess that isn’t worth trying to sort out.
I’m assuming the part with the people trapped in the sewers is either happening ten years in the future or ten years in the past or some dumb shit.
Update: It’s yet another game that is happening during Saw III. For fuck’s sake I wish this series would move on.
“In the end it will be clear.” No it fucking won’t.
Watching all these will be worth it to me if there’s just a scene of Jigsaw buying the tape recorders.
The blood trap with the saws is idiotic. You don’t have to keep putting your arm deeper into the trap. Once you’re bleeding from that big of a cut, you’ll keep bleeding. You don’t need to jam your arm in up to the elbow to get more blood.
9. Saw IV
This is the worst for me because the FBI guy and the cop looked alike and were so boring to the point that I couldn’t tell them apart. So when the twist involved both of them, I didn’t know who was the victim and who was the secret Jigsaw apprentice. And the ending reveal just pissed me off. It was the first one that made me angry after watching it, so it’s the worst, but my bottom three are all equally miserable viewing experiences.
Random Thoughts
While I find it hilarious that these films went with Roman numerals for the sequels, I do honestly appreciate that they held off from subtitles or different titles altogether for so long. I am so tired of seeing Revenge, Retribution, The Final Chapter, Origins, The Return, etc. in titles. Just give it a number and move on.
Whoa, was not expecting to ever see Jigsaw’s dick.
I’m surprised they didn’t find a whole tape recorder in his stomach.
That autopsy was so unnecessary. I know this series gets shit for gratuitous gore and whatnot, but at least it’s because of a trap or something. Just showing a full on autopsy is going for gross out shit for no reason other than trying to get the audience to say, “Ew!” They could have easily had them find the tape without actually showing the necessary steps to get to it. Or maybe I’m just a bitch who doesn’t want to watch an autopsy.
Maybe all this started when Jigsaw came across an amazing sale on tape recorders.
Is there a more worthless cinematic SWAT team than the one in the Saw franchise? These dudes are never showing up where people actually are, and if they do, it’s because the killer wanted them to.
Having a very hard time giving a fuck about any of this.
This series just got way too far up its own ass with the stupid twists.
It was kind of funny watching Donnie Wahlberg flail around mumbling, “Motherfucker!” I guess.
I like how Jigsaw has all these pictures of the junkie who caused his wife’s miscarriage like he’s a private detective following a cheating spouse. You know who the guy is already, why do you need all these pictures?
So let me get this straight: it was okay for Jigsaw to get revenge on the junkie by torturing him and sidestepping so that the junkie fell into a razor wire trap, but the dude from the last film simply wants to kill the guy who killed his son (he had a gun but he hadn’t tried killing him or anything), so you put his whole family through death and torture and kill the people involved with his son’s death anyway? But because you said, “I forgive you” to the junkie and made it so he “technically” killed himself, you’re living life to the fullest while the dude from the last film’s entire family needed to be taught a lesson. Jigsaw, you’re not a villain because of your death traps. You’re a villain because you are an insufferable, self-righteous fuckhead who bought a shit ton of tape recorders.
Seriously, I think these films are trying to make Jigsaw into some cool horror icon a la Jason or Freddy, but the longer they go on, the more I hate him.
This ridiculous need to end each film with a twist really shit the bed with this one. It didn’t help that I could barely tell the FBI guy and the cop apart. So I didn’t even know who was being revealed as what. And then for it to have all been happening the same time as the last film? Fuck off.