Civil War - I'm Just a Naive Midwestern Bitch

When I saw the first trailer for Civil War, I thought, “Who the fuck would want to see that?” While I still believe a full on civil war in this country is highly unlikely, it’s enough of a threat that a movie about it felt off-putting. More than that, I assumed it was going to be a liberal-minded warning that would only preach to the choir. To be clear, I consider myself a liberal, but I hate overly liberal pop culture stuff as much as I hate those silly “documentaries” that Dinesh D’Souza won’t stop making. Anything that leans too heavily to one side is just trying to make money off people who already agree with the author; it doesn’t actually say anything. 

Civil War, to my surprise, doesn’t actually say anything, either, but in a good, literal way. This film still has a liberal tinge to it simply because members of the press are the primary characters, but it’s not like they’re constantly giving speeches directly to the audience or anything. They are meant to be press members in the traditional sense in that they are there to document what is happening, not provide commentary about it.

This may bother some viewers hoping for a message from a film called Civil War beyond “War is bad and messes people up.” But I was fine with the lack of a message and the lack of a specific reason for the start of the war (there are hints, but no concrete history is given, and a reference to an “Antifa massacre” that Kirsten Dunst’s character covered in college implies that this is meant to be an alternate history version of the United States). 

Fairly quickly, the film makes it clear that this is a flat out war film. A civil war is happening, and we’re simply embedded with these journalists as they make their way from New York to D.C. As a road movie during a civil war, this hooked me. Writer/director Alex Garland created an anxiety-filled story in which anything could happen at any time. In many ways, it had the feel of a zombie or general post-apocalyptic movie in that no one can be trusted, and death is a constant possibility. 

And maybe I’m just a naive Midwestern bitch, but the realistic depiction of a modern civil war taking place in America, especially in D.C. was incredibly effective. I found myself short of breath by the end of the film, and it wasn’t because I’m fat (maybe it was a little because I’m fat, but the movie played a part, too). 

Watching this in a theater played a factor, as well. The war sequences are loud and overbearing, and the prolonged moments with gunfire and explosions create a true feeling of chaos. Being in a theater also allowed me to get a sense of what others might feel about the movie. I didn’t talk to any strangers afterwards or anything, but I made a few observations. First off, a couple next to us walked out during the Jesse Plemons scene in which he’s shooting anyone who isn’t a “normal” American, i.e. white American. Watching this in Kentucky (I live on the Indiana/Kentucky border), my first assumption was they were offended that this racist character is what the filmmakers think of people from the more rural part of the country. If that’s the case, I hate to break it to them that if shit did really go down, this area of the country would have no shortage of deranged fuckers who would use the war as an excuse to make their racist fantasies come true. 

Or maybe they were simply offended by the ugliness of the scene in general. If that was the case, I’m not sure what they were expecting from a movie called Civil War, but apparently that scene crossed the line. Or maybe they received a text message from a babysitter and had to leave, who knows, but I think the scene played a factor. 

On the way out at the end, I heard a person say, “So that's what they have planned for us.” First off, what? This had to be a conservative dude who thinks the liberal elites of Hollywood hate him and all he stands for, so he went into this expecting it to be two hours of liberal lies about “real Americans.” Or something like that, I don’t know how these people think. It really seemed like he thought up that line before he even got to the theater and felt the need to still say it even though the movie in no way presents a plan of action for taking out conservative Americans. I could understand his comment if this movie was about the government using the military to confiscate weapons from people or something, but the fighting in this is presented as two military forces fighting each other for the most part, not one evil liberal government subjugating the conservatives. 

I point these moments out to show that people will still find this movie political and/or offensive no matter what. Because of that, I can see why it would be frustrating for some viewers that Garland didn’t take more of a stand with the screenplay. I found those audience reactions as affirmation that Garland made the right choice. People are going to bring their views to a movie like this no matter what you do, so why bother with a message? Instead, just show people what a civil war might look like, regardless of what “side” you’re on. 

As an experience, Civil War turned out to be exactly what I wanted. From a story or character standpoint, there isn’t a ton there. I liked the main characters, but for me they were simply ciphers to experience the war through and not much more. There is a little development with them, I suppose, but not much. Since the film is just about war, the only development for all of them is how much the atrocity of war changes, or doesn’t change, a person. But I didn’t really care that much about any of them. I was just there for the war, and if that’s all you want from this, then you’ll be fine, no matter how you feel politically. 

Random Thoughts (SPOILERS)

Another dude at the end of the movie was talking to a cop at the movie theater, and I heard him say, “It’s actually a follow up to that movie.” And the cop replied, “Okay, I was wondering because it looks like it’s just from the press perspective.” God, I wish I had heard what movie he thought this was a follow up to. I hate approaching strangers, but I truly regret not walking over to him and asking what the fuck he was talking about.

January 6th entered my mind a bit during this, as well. People storming the White House doesn’t seem that unlikely after that event.

America has truly lost her way if we can’t stay united with Nick Offerman as President.

That town that seems to be sitting out the war (thanks to some snipers on top of the buildings) is probably how my small town would react to a civil war. I hope so, anyway.

So I guess the arc for Dunst is that she starts off not caring about anyone anymore, but Stephen McKinley Henderson’s death and her mentoring of Cailee Spaeny made her care about people enough again to sacrifice herself? I don’t know. And why not just push her down and fall down with her? Why push her away and stand up in the line of fire? And I didn’t really get her panic attack leading up to the White House, either. Like I wrote above, what little character development there is in this just didn’t matter to me, or make sense in this case.

How do you put Jimmy from Yellowstone in this and not kill him?

This is clearly an alternate universe America since they didn’t drive past a single Dollar General.

Sasquatch Sunset - Bigfoot Family for Adults

Earlier today, my four-year-old son excitedly told me about a movie he watched a part of on Netflix called Bigfoot Family. I thankfully missed out on that (for now) and instead got to watch another movie about a Bigfoot family that is definitely not for children: Sasquatch Sunset. 

When the trailer for this came out a while back, I remember being interested in it mainly because it featured Jesse Eisenberg and Riley Keough (along with Christophe Zajac-Denek and co-director Nathan Zellner) in full sasquatch prosthetics grunting for the entire movie, and it was rated R. While the trailer was mainly humorous, the full film is thankfully deeper than just “look at these actors doing sasquatch shit!” 

As the film follows this sasquatch family nature-doc style, there are plenty of funny moments, but no amount of humor could sustain a feature length comedy about grunting sasquatches. Instead, you slowly get to know the family beyond just trying to figure out which one is Eisenberg. There’s a dynamic going on that becomes interesting to follow, and the specter of humanity (actual people are never seen, but their presence is clear) adds a melancholy aura to it all. 

But many people may come to this film just for the oddity of a dialogue-free sasquatch movie. Those people will likely get bored quickly. The film is certainly amusing, but if you don’t let yourself be taken in by the family’s journey, it’ll make the brief eighty-nine minute runtime feel like an eternity. 

The family drama kept me involved, and the overall style of the film won me over. The “nature-doc” description is apt, but doesn’t do the film justice. Sasquatch Sunset is a beautiful film that doesn’t contain a single wasted shot, and the score makes you feel like you’re witnessing a new world. 

The visuals and music are so effective that it can be easy to forget that this takes place in the real world, so when the family comes across evidence of humans, like an “X” marked on a tree for logging, or a campsite, or, in what is destined to be the most famous and definitely most disgusting scene in the film, a road, it feels jarring, foreign, and a little frightening. 

Of course, the presence of humanity means the end of the world for this family (it is called Sasquatch Sunset, not Sunrise, after all), but it never feels preachy in its environmental message. It’s more of a sad acceptance of what “progress” does to the natural world. What helps keep the message grounded is the often disgusting behavior of some family members. These aren’t perfect beings frolicing in the magical woods. The alpha, especially, does some selfish, gross shit. This doesn’t mean the movie makes the case to justify the extinction of these creatures; it’s just that the film isn’t naive enough to try to present the natural world as perfect or nice. Here, the world is simply presented as a changing one in which a sasquatch can be part of pop culture, but won’t be able to survive actual culture.

The effectiveness of the film is also a testament to the great physical acting of the four performers. The prosthetics are great, but the eyes of each sasquatch are the most telling feature. Keough is the standout, and she’s the true star of the film. She has the most expressive eyes, and I found myself truly concerned for her character throughout. The combination of performance and prosthetics made me forget at times that I was watching actors in sasquatch suits eating leaves, throwing rocks, and beating sticks against trees, hoping to hear from other sasquatches but only receiving silence in return.

Years from now, maybe my son will watch Sasquatch Sunset and appreciate it as much as I do. But for now, he’ll have to get his environmental messaging from Bigfoot Family (though there is a disturbing element to that film, too, since Bigfoot is married and has a kid with a human woman in it). For the rest of us adults, it’s nice that there’s a poignant, but also gross and funny, sasquatch movie out there.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire - A Means to a Kaiju End

A movie with a title like Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is a bit pointless to review (so it’s a good thing I’m writing this nearly a week after it came out, right?). Who’s waiting for the critical consensus before going to see this? (“Well, I was going to see the new giant monster movie, but Jake Coyle of the Associated Press wasn’t a fan, so I’ll skip it.”) To be fair, I would argue that film criticism is most useful after you’ve seen a movie anyway so you can get a different viewpoint to consider. But the point remains that everyone watching this knows what it is: giant monsters punching each other.

That’s normally how I would approach a film like this, but this one was special. This was the first Godzilla movie I watched in a theater with my son and daughter after my son and I became big G fans (my daughter is more into Kong, so I won’t be mentioning her any further in this).

My four-year-old son seemed to enjoy it. His short review (beyond the simple thumbs up he gave me when I asked for his review) can be summed up by his behavior during the movie. About twenty minutes in during a human scene, he asked if the movie would be over soon. During a Kong fight with some Skar King lackeys, my son started reenacting the fight on his chair, pounding his fists down on it like an ape. And when it was over, he asked if we could watch it again as soon as we got home (Dad having access to awards screeners at the end of the year has really messed up how my kids think movie releases work, and COVID didn’t help). So, in short, the human stuff was a bit boring, but the fights were great. Pretty much sums up the general response I’ve seen in blurbs and whatnot.

For me, it was a bit different. A few months ago, this would be an afterthought movie I would wait for home video to watch. But after watching all of the Godzilla franchise last month, I was genuinely excited for this. I was able to appreciate that this was like a middle-of-the-road Shōwa Era Godzilla movie: the fights are good and a little goofy (that suplex of King Kong had me laughing), and the humans are fine but not nearly as compelling as the big dudes. In other words, I had the same response as my son, but I could give it a little context within the franchise…and at no point did I act like an ape in the theater.

The main takeaway was how Hollow Earth was presented here. The scientists claim that they’ve barely mapped out Hollow Earth, which leaves the series open to endless possibilities. Instead of using outer space for the source of new monsters and enemies (as a lot of films in the series do), they have Hollow Earth. That’s fine, but Hollow Earth is still a new enough idea in the series that we have to spend too much time trekking through it when we all know there’s a lot of monsters and whatnot lurking around there.

If Hollow Earth was some feast for the eyes, I wouldn’t mind hanging out there. But aside from some camera spinning stuff, it just felt like a Dollar General Pandora. Which is fine, if it’s only a means to a kaiju end. Don’t give me multiple scenes in the woods with scary plants and bugs. Just immediately stumble onto the lost tribe or whatever.

That written, it’s not like the movie dwells there. It moves plenty fast, and the humans aren’t that bad. There is a genuine emotional connection between Rebecca Hall and Kaylee Hottle, and Brian Tyree Henry and Dan Stevens have some amusing moments here and there. But yeah, I have a hard time remembering their character names, and I’m more concerned with what Godzilla is up to during their scenes. I’m just saying the human moments are not devoid of heart and entertainment. 

But like my son, I watched this for the fights. While the Kong stuff was decent, and I kind of like Baby Kong (I know it’s not his name, but you know who I mean, just like how Baby Yoda still works better than Grogu), I’m just here for Godzilla. I do wish there were more fights for G leading to the big team up, but what we get is nice and brutal. More than anything, though, I liked the version of Godzilla in this as he powers himself up into nuclear meltdown mode a la Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, one of my favorite Godzilla movies. He gets that glowing eyes demonic treatment here, and it’s great. 

The team up battle with G and Kong is nice, especially that suplex, but it’s just the appetizer before the big brawl. Once G, Kong, Skar King, and Shimo started fighting in Brazil, my brain shut off, and I was in giant monster nerd heaven for a couple minutes. Seeing that in IMAX was sensory overload at its finest, and it’s what makes me love this series, despite its flaws. 

DIrector Adam Wingard knows his way around a monster fight, though I wouldn’t mind if someone else took over the next one. I’m a fan of Wingard’s early work, especially You’re Next and The Guest, but aside from some trippy colors, Dan Stevens, and some needle drops, I think Wingard works better on a smaller scale. And that’s coming from a fan of this movie; I just want some new blood for the series as this and Godzilla vs. Kong are very similar, and a change would be nice. 

No matter who makes the next one, the future is bright for this series. With this exceeding box office expectations coupled with Minus One’s success, I hope to see a more Godzilla-centric film next in the Legendary monsterverse. Kong is okay, but I’m tired of seeing G play second-fiddle to a homesick ape. Maybe in the next film, he can teach little Kong how to ride a bike or something while Godzilla takes care of the monster fighting. At the very least the next one can begin with Kong and Godzilla working together and won’t need the bulk of the screen time to lead up to it. This is a rare series that can get better as it continues. Whatever route they take, I plan on being there opening weekend with my kids, ready to shut my brain down and have some fun.

Godzilla - My One Month Journey Through the Franchise

I’ve been on a ranking kick lately, and I planned on ranking the entire Godzilla franchise after Godzilla x Kong this weekend, but Toho isn’t able to release Minus One on video for a while due to an agreement with Legendary to not compete with any of their movies. So since my ranking will have to wait indefinitely, I decided to just write about my general thoughts on each era or sub-section of the series. Keep in mind, I’m a novice Godzilla guy, and I didn’t even know about the eras until a few weeks ago. Still, I watched every movie except the aforementioned two (though I am seeing GxK this weekend) and Gigantis, the Fire Monster (which I’ll watch for my ranking), and I need to write something about these movies so I feel a slight sense of accomplishment. 

Before I started this journey of forty Godzilla movies in a month, I knew very little about it. Honestly, I just dismissed it entirely. I thought it was all just shitty rubber suits and terrible miniature cities. Also, I was one of those dickheads who would watch a Godzilla movie (mainly just the 2014 one before I went deep) and complain about Godzilla not being in enough of it. As it turns out, these movies hinge on the human characters because as awesome as the fights are, this shit would get boring if that’s all the movie was. As far as the action goes, I was surprised by how entertaining I found it, even though the characters looked like “puppets,” according to my four-year-old son. Yes, sometimes the series gets a bit goofy, but the filmmakers are aware of it, to a degree. And every now and then a true gem would hit (a Hidorah, Destoroyah, Shin, etc.) and blow me away. 

I enjoyed almost every bit of this series. I watched the American versions of some of the movies just to be a completionist, and they have their moments, but I prefer the originals. But the only thing I straight up hated was the animated trilogy on Netflix. I suppose that’s part of the Reiwa era, but I’m not going into further detail on those until the rankings, where they will be dead last. Anyway, here are some general thoughts from a newbie Godzilla fan.

The Shōwa Era

Before starting the series, I assumed things started off very serious and eventually turned into the kind of movies I saw parodied in a Beastie Boys video. I was wrong about the “eventual” part. While the first film is a certified classic and contains some of the darkest, bleakest moments of the franchise and absolutely no laughs are to be had with it, the series very quickly gets softer. But I get it, after nailing the connection to the nuclear bombs with the first one, what else is there to do with the character? They can’t just keep repeating themselves, so Toho knew they had to start introducing new characters and lighten things up from time to time. 

That’s how we get King Kong vs. Godzilla for the third film in the franchise (I’m not counting Godzilla, King of the Monsters as the third movie since it’s just the American version of the original with Raymond Burr shoehorned in). I was surprised how early this was in the series, and others are, too. I’ve been talking to anyone that will listen to me about Godzilla, and someone made the comment that they liked the movies, but then they got silly by adding King Kong. Imagine my nerd delight when I got to say, “Actually, that’s one of the first movies in the series.” 

The goofy factor so early worried me because I thought it would escalate from there, but the series isn’t that linear. There are the requisite introductions of all the great adversaries in the series with Ghidora, Mothra, Rodan, and whatnot, and those are all a good time. Then it does get into straight up childrens’ movie territory for a bit with Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, and All Monsters Attack, though the only one of those I dislike is All Monsters and mainly just because it re-uses footage from previous movies. Son of Godzilla is actually one of my favorites.

But I still prefer a slightly more serious take on the character, which is why Godzilla vs. Hedorah is my favorite movie from this era. To be fair, this isn’t a wholly serious take, but changing the theme from the dangers of nuclear weapons and power to pollution steered the series back into “message” territory. More than that, though, Hedorah is a disgusting, awesome villain, and I always like it in these early films when Godzilla gets to be the good guy. Their fight is surprisingly gnarly, and the whole thing is weird enough to be a standout for me.

The Heisei Era

Watching all of these movies in quick succession is not a good idea, and as I reached the mid-1970s, I was really looking forward to a change of pace and era for the series. After the reboot in 1984 (which is technically still Shōwa, but gets included in Heisei because the next film is a direct sequel), there’s a little break and we get into the late 80s and the 90s. I was looking forward to better suits and special effects.

For the most part, this era delivers. It also features a complete story throughout the era with a definitive beginning, middle, and end. And the end is easily my favorite.

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah is amazing. This is the one in which Godzilla is basically a nuclear reactor in meltdown mode, so he looks increasingly crazy as the movie goes on. By the end, he is a glowing, smoking death machine. Beyond the awesome design and the fights, this is one that featured truly compelling human characters. It does a better job than even the original of making me care about both Godzilla and the humans. And this is one of the few ones in which it feels like Godzilla could really destroy the entire planet. It’s easy at times in this series to dismiss the severity of the action because it’s so clear that they are fighting on a miniature set, but in Destoroyah, the filmmakers do such a great job of making you care about everyone involved, you forget the special effects and get drawn into the story. Destoroyah is one that I plan on returning to many times in the future.

The Millenium Era

This is my least favorite era by far, mainly because none of the movies stand out for me. They all have their moments, and I don’t dislike any of them (though the first fifteen minutes of Final Wars had me worried), but none of them blew me away.

The closest to get the job done is Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack. Godzilla looks demonic with this one, and it always impresses me when a film can do a good job of making Godzilla the villain. I typically like G as the hero, but when a movie can make the case that he needs to be taken out (as the original does), it’s special. Also, when he’s treated as the villain, he’s presented as extra powerful. Nothing sucks more than seeing G get knocked around like a weakling, so it’s great that he’s so strong in this one that it takes everything the world can pull together to take him out.

But beyond GMaKG:GMA-OA, I found the rest of the era just fine.

The Reiwa Era

Aside from the animated stuff I hate, the only movie I’ve seen in this era is Shin Godzilla. But as of this writing, it’s my favorite of the series. Godzilla’s design and power is so impressive and terrifying in this. I didn’t know what I truly wanted from this series until I watched Shin. All of the destruction is massive and awesome, and the human element is perfect. 

This is what Roland Emmerich should have done with the 1998 movie: show what a modern government would do in response to Godzilla. Of course, that means showing bureaucracy to the point of comedy, but the film doesn’t just use it for easy jokes. It quickly becomes just as serious as the original film when the possibility of America using nuclear weapons comes up. This adds a compelling element to the human story, which made me just as interested in the outcome of their story as I was in just watching the big guy destroy a city. And any time you can get me to care about something other than destruction in a Godzilla movie, you’ve done something very right.

I imagine I’ll also love Minus One based on everything I’ve read about it, but time will tell. If it’s anything like Shin, it might take over the top spot for me.

Oh, and once again if I wasn’t clear before: fuck those animated Netflix movies.

American Versions and Others

This is kind of a miscellaneous era in that it isn’t all that connected. In general, I prefer the Toho versions of all the earlier movies, but the American cuts of Godzilla and The Return of Godzilla (Godzilla, King of the Monsters! and Godzilla 1985) are worth watching just for the Raymond Burr stuff. And the American cut of King Kong vs. Godzilla is worth checking out just for the condescending American news anchor and the scientist (who uses a grade school-level book about dinosaurs as a source of expert knowledge). But I only recommend these for completionists. 

There’s also the trippy Godzilla from 1977, also known as Cozzilla, which is a slightly colorized and re-edited Italian cut of the film. It’s trippy as hell, but only weirdos like me need to watch it.

Then there’s the infamous 1998 Roland Emmerich Godzilla. It kind of sucks for all the reasons people have pointed out before, but if you go in expecting complete trash, you might end up finding it okay, as I did. I don’t care for the look of G in it, as he looks too much like a dinosaur for my taste. But there’s some fun, silly shit there. It just doesn’t feel like a Godzilla movie.

Legendary

I saved the most recent for last. In general, I dig all of these movies, with King of the Monsters my clear favorite. I’m a basic bitch, so I just enjoy seeing contemporary special effects, and it makes these movies easy to rewatch. 

Originally, I hated the 2014 film because of the aforementioned “not enough Godzilla!” of it all. I still have issues with it (the constant cutting away from fights annoys me, and Cranston should have lived at least until the end of the movie), but it handles scale in a cool way, and Godzilla and the MUTOs feel accurately massive.

Godzilla vs. Kong was a bit of a disappointment for me upon a rewatch because it feels like a Kong movie that they just tossed Godzilla into. But the fight is great, and in general I find it to be a fun movie. 

King of the Monsters is pretty amazing, though, since they got the rights to bring in Ghidorah, Mothra, and Rodan. It was awesome to see those monsters with modern effects, and all the fights are great. Mainly, though, this one nails the tone. It has some comedy here and there, but overall this is an end of the world movie, and it feels like it. It gets what this series should be. 

The new film looks like it’s more in Kong territory, but I still have high hopes for it. Godzilla runs in the trailer, which old me would find stupid. Now, I’m all for it because I know now that Godzilla can and should be different depending on the movie. Run until you pass out, big guy.

Finally…

So that’s it. Next up, I might write about GxK. But I’ll definitely get to my overall ranking as soon as Minus One is available to me.