"Second in Command" - Jean-Claude Van Damme: the Eastern European Years

This is a typical "action" shot in Second in Command.

When I decided to cover every Van Damme movie I own on a monthly basis, I knew what I was getting into. Sure, I’d get to revisit and lengthily explain my love of such classics as Kickboxer and Bloodsport, but it also meant I would be watching movies like Derailed and Second in Command. This month, I went with Second in Command because it helps me complete a four pack of Van Damme movies I own. I vaguely remember watching this a few years back and not caring for it. My hope was that I was too harsh the first time around and would be pleasantly surprised during my re-watch. That was not the case. Second in Command isn’t terrible, but I kind of wish it was. It’s just okay. When you watch as many movies as I do, “just okay” is actually the worst thing a movie can be. If a movie isn’t going to be genuinely interesting and/or entertaining, then I want to see some weird, terrible shit going on. Knock Off comes to mind. I didn’t care for that movie, but at least it had a wacky-ass rickshaw race that featured a zoom into Van Damme’s shoe as it blew up. Second in Command has nothing like that. It’s as if some Eastern European financier watched a bunch of war movies and wanted one made for himself. That’s fine, but why waste Van Damme in such a film?

Not sure why they went with this image for the cover; Van Damme has that uniform on for maybe one minute of screen time.

I love Van Damme, but I’m not delusional.

If you’re not a fellow fan, you probably disagree with me already. So be it. Generally speaking, I love Van Damme’s work, but I will admit that some of his films, especially the direct to video (DTV) stuff, are not very good. I consider these the Eastern European films. This isn’t because many of them take place in Eastern Europe (though most of them do), but it’s also because they had to film there because it’s so cheap to do so. When Eastern Europe factors into the equation, odds are we’re getting one of the bland Van Damme movies. Second in Command is an Eastern European movie through and through.

First off, it takes place in an Eastern European country that no longer exists (Moldavia hasn’t been a country since the 1800s and is now part of Romania, Moldova, and the Ukraine), and that’s never a good sign. It’s also kind of pointless because no attempt is made to give the country any kind of real identity. Just call it “Eastern Europe” and be done with it. Why use a county that no longer exists if it’s going to be too bland to even remember the name anyway?

Secondly, these Eastern European movies almost always focus on some kind of military conflict. I’m okay with Van Damme playing a soldier, but only if he’s on the run so he can street fight or join a martial arts tournament. When he’s an active duty soldier, in this case a high ranking one at that, the action suffers. More often than not he’s holding a gun or discussing strategy. Second in Command does let him kick some ass a few times, but it’s still a misuse of Van Damme’s strengths. I want to see more roundhouse kicks and less debate about siege tactics.

If the few moments of hand to hand combat were great, I would forgive the military aspect of Second in Command, but unfortunately a Eastern European production usually means the action is going to be filmed in some shitty-Jason Bourne-knock-off fashion. I hate shaky cam action when it’s done well, so the action here is doubly frustrating as they try to make it seem better by throwing in random zooms and slow motion moments. None of it showcases Van Damme’s fighting skills. In fact, it makes it look like he can’t hack it, and they had to edit around him. But that is not the case as he’s had plenty of great action sequences in films after Second in Command. (The Universal Soldier sequels came out after this film, for example.)

It all just screams “DTV.” But looking at Van Damme’s filmography, this is just where his career was for a few years. This is the wasteland between Replicant (which was awesome, but perhaps set expectations too high for future DTV movies) and JCVD (when Van Damme got self-reflective and started making more interesting movies afterward [though there are a few bland ones mixed in there as well]). Films like Second in Command seem like Van Damme just accepting his DTV status after spending years starring in theatrical releases. 

Van Damme is still doing good work in these films, and he has some genuinely good dramatic moments in Second in Command. It’s just that the material and production isn’t good enough for him. Part of this is on him. He didn’t have to take the job. I wonder if he was just happy to get the work at the time and didn’t really care about the material.

And the material is so boring. The military stuff has no sense of realism to it. I have no military experience at all, but the military dialogue in this film sounds like some shit from a Playstation 2 video game. It’s a lot of “Listen here, soldier!” and “Get some!” type stuff. The kind of dialogue that even if it is realistic is so cliché that no self-respecting writer would use it.

It doesn’t help that Second in Command is also a siege movie, which is very difficult to pull off. The filmmakers simply weren’t up to the task of creating a sense of an army surrounding the Americans, and they definitely didn’t create a sense of the space. The film should have been filled with tension, and the audience should have felt like they were in the embassy with the characters. Instead, it seemed like the “army” outside the gates consisted of a dozen people (except on the days when they could afford a few more extras), and it seemed like each scene took place in a new room inside the embassy that we didn’t know existed before. For instance, why did they reveal the tunnel right before they used it? Wouldn’t the knowledge of a secret tunnel have made the debate about whether to stay or evacuate much more interesting? It all just felt lazy.

Jean-Claude Van Damme should not be in lazy movies. Without his presence, Second in Command probably would not have received funding to even be made. So if you’re going to pony up the cash to get Van Damme, you should make sure you’re utilizing him. Instead, the producers were just happy to have his face to put on the cover to sell DVDs to fans like me. We, and Van Damme, deserve better.

The only way that "Hollywood Hits" claim at the bottom is legit is if there happens to be a Hollywood, Romania.

Why Do I Own This?

It's a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. But if this wasn't part of a cheap four pack of lesser JCVD movies, no fucking way would I own this.

Random Thoughts

I don't buy Van Damme as a "Sam."

I do, however, buy the fact that he's banging someone less than five minutes into the movie.

Ugh…"Moldavia." The Eastern European Van Damme movies are definitely the bottom rung of his filmography. 

God, all the protest footage is annoying. Constant shaking, zooming, and lack of focus in an attempt to create a feeling of chaos. That might work if it didn't keep cutting to a calm scene with the journalists at the edge of the protest.

I don't think I've ever seen a movie where all the subtitles had quotes around them.

People in hell want ice...cubes? Was this written in Romanian and translated into English?

Dude with mangled face who is also impaled with shrapnel: "I don't think I'm going to make it." No shit! How did Van Damme keep a straight face when he told him, "You're going to be okay"?

Born in Vietnam to a French diplomat mother; I guess that explains Sam's accent?

Was not expecting the line about Beyoncé…

Man, Van Damme really did a number to that dude's nards.

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