X-Men & Deadpool - Ranked

I’ve had Marvel fatigue for years now, but I’ve kept up with the theatrical releases and most of the shows. But I no longer feel obligated to watch every single show, and I rarely do a deep dive re-watch to prepare any longer (which is probably why I had no clue what the fuck was going on in The Marvels). But the preview for Deadpool & Wolverine amped me up, and since I like the X-Men and Deadpool universe quite a bit anyway, I decided to rewatch it all. And thanks (I think) to Evan Dossey at the Midwest Film Journal, I even revisited Daredevil and Elektra since I saw that he watched Elektra knowing she was showing up in the movie. (And now I need to rewatch the Fantastic Four movies from the early aughts and the Blade trilogy, I guess.) But I’m not ranking those movies; I’m only bringing them up as evidence of the stupid shit I will watch when I get on a movie kick.

This series of films exemplifies my relationship with comic book movies in general. The first X-Men movie came out when I was fifteen and ignited a fandom that lasts to this day. But those films went through some wild peaks and valleys, and that’s how I am at this moment with the genre. Some movies, like Deadpool & Wolverine, will have me feeling like a dorky teenager again, while others, like The New Mutants, will leave me thinking, “Why did they even bother with this one?” 

Anyway, whenever I end up watching an entire series of films I have to create some content about it. So here are my completely subjective rankings of all the X-Men and Deadpool movies now that they seem to be truly done as Deadpool (and probably Wolverine) get sucked into the MCU for bit parts for the foreseeable future.

1. Logan

The R-rating aspect of this gets too much attention (from me as much as anyone) as an example of finally being able to see Wolverine brutally kill enemies. While that is awesome, and I immediately turn into an insufferable fanboy when I see those claws enter a goon’s face, the R-rating is mainly there because this is a dark, adult story. I’m all for a fun comic book movie, but when someone can turn one into cinematic art, it’s something truly special. Logan is number one with a bullet on this list, and it’s one of my favorite movies of all time.

2. X2

This one takes me back to that fun early era of superhero films when a sequel was cause for excitement instead of trepidation. Much like with Spider-Man, the first film was the lower stakes proving ground that allowed for a bigger, and better sequel. This is the most rewatchable movie in the series for me. And Brian Cox ruined Stryker for all other actors. No one has come close to him since.

3. X-Men

The first film was a big deal for me. I was used to goofier comic book movies at this point (I was, and still am, a fan of Batman Forever), so when this more serious and moody film came out and showed that these things could be elevated, it made me a lifelong fan. And what a relief when Hugh Jackman immediately proved to be the perfect choice for Wolverine.

4. Deadpool & Wolverine

Definitely some recency bias going on here. Click here for my full thoughts on this one. It’s this high on the list because it did the impossible and made me excited about the MCU again. But in all likelihood, if I revisit this list in a year or two it will likely drop at least one spot.

5. X-Men: Days of Future Past

The Last Stand and the Wolverine spin-offs were disappointing, and First Class gave me a little hope. But this was the movie that brought me back on board. I’m a sucker for future dystopias, so I just enjoyed the premise. And as a fan of both the old and new casts, it was such a relief that they found a way to bring them together in such a satisfying way.

6. X-Men: First Class

This could have gone wrong in so many ways, so it’s a minor miracle that’s not a trainwreck, much less one of the best films in the series. As with the original film, casting played a big part. Fassbender will always be the standout for me, but nearly everyone made their character their own. There’s a little 1960s goofiness here and there, but overall it’s an emotionally resonant film (mainly because of Erik’s storyline) with the added bonus of taking place during a period of history I have a particular interest in.

7. Deadpool

It feels a little weird to include the Deadpool films in any list because the fourth-wall breaking stuff makes them feel like their own thing. But the X-Men play a large part in each film, even if they never devote the whole team to a film. I really enjoy all three, and this one is actually the best movie of the three (even if I enjoy the third film a lot more), but a good proper X-Men movie will always be above these movies…unless Wolverine is a main character.

8. Deadpool 2

I like this one more than most, I think, but I do think they rushed it. I got so excited for Deadpool & Wolverine partly because it’s been six years since the last movie. I think if this had come out even just one year later than it did it might be remembered a bit more fondly. Rewatching them this time close together, it honestly gets a little difficult to differentiate them, which is why they are back to back on this list.

9. X-Men: The Last Stand

Ninth is probably higher than this would be on most lists, but I still enjoy this as the end of a trilogy. It’s certainly the lesser of the three, and there’s nothing here even remotely as memorable as anything in the first two films. But I had grown to love these characters so much at this point that I still liked it. But yeah, upon a rewatch, this is the point that I started to check out a bit while watching.

10. The Wolverine

I watched both the theatrical and extended cut of this, and I think it suffered because of it. This more serious take on a solo Wolverine story is definitely better than the first attempt, but it’s still a bit of a slog. It’s just not a lot of fun to see Logan moping around, wanting to die and without his powers. But this was Mangold crawling before he could run with Logan, so at least there’s that.

11. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

If you accept how fucking stupid this movie is, it’s possible to have a little fun with it, but I can just never forgive those CG claws in the bathroom scene. I’ll never understand how they managed to make them that awful for his FOURTH portrayal of the character. Just keep doing what they had been doing! Perhaps more than any film on this list, this thing collapses under the tiniest bit of scrutiny. But it’s never boring; it’s just really fucking stupid.

12. X-Men: Apocalypse

Origins might be trash, but I’ll still revisit it from time to time. Apocalypse (and the next two movies), on the other hand, just bores me. I wish it was worse, actually, because then I might remember it. The villain just isn’t compelling to me, either. The good thing about most of these movies is that the bad guy has a good reason, at least in their opinion, for what they are doing: Trask thinks he’s protecting humanity, Magneto thinks he’s protecting mutants, etc. Apocalypse is one of those bland villains that just exists to destroy the world because they look evil and that’s what you do when you have a face like that.

13. Dark Phoenix

This was supposed to be some kind of redemption for The Last Stand storyline, and it somehow made fans even angrier. As someone who has never read the comic version of the Dark Phoenix storyline, I wasn't all that upset with how it was handled in The Last Stand, so I didn't need to see it re-done. And apparently no one else dod, either.

14. The New Mutants

This isn't really a bad movie, I was just completely tired of this series by the time I got to this. I just kept wondering who it was made for, because it just seemed miserable inside and out. The abuse of children has been a topic for this series from the get-go, what with Charles's school being used to basically recruit soldiers, and the government's much harsher treatment of mutant children. But it's always been one aspect of the story, not the focus. I just don't want to be this bummed out while watching an X-Men movie. So maybe it's unfair, but I'm putting it at the bottom because I had no fun watching it and never want to see it again.

Review Roundup - All the Movies I Should Have Already Written Something About

The past year was definitely my laziest as a critic. I watched nearly every single substantial movie released (Still Alice, Mr. Turner, and Cake are the most notable ones I missed), but I didn't come close to reviewing them all. This post is an attempt to run through the films of note I watched over 2014 but failed to properly review. These still won't be proper reviews, but I felt obligated to at least briefly state my opinion about these movies, especially since some of them end up on my top ten list. So, in no particular order, here are my thoughts on the last crop of 2014 movies.

Note - As with my last roundup of reviews, I will simply write the rating I give each film.

Boyhood - Okay, I wanted to start off with the big one. This film has been racking up all the awards and is favored to win Best Picture in a couple weeks. Because of that, some hate is starting to form (check out the latest Honest Trailer for evidence). I watched the film months ago and came away impressed. The filming style is a gimmick, but it was interesting to me. But I do not find this film good enough to be considered among the year's best. I agree with all of the complaints about the lack of story. That said, it is enjoyable, and Richard Linklater made something very interesting. I just don't think it should be considered the best film of the year. I give it a Chigurh.

Whiplash - This film somehow made jazz interesting to me. On paper, it sounds pretty boring: a jazz drummer faces off with a demanding conductor. But the music is great, and the editing creates a visual music to match the actual music. Miles Teller is great as a determined, and slightly disturbed drummer, but J. K. Simmons (the runaway favorite for Best Supporting Actor) steals the show as his psychopathic band leader. The message of the film has raised some eyebrows, but that's what I love about it. Also, any film that let's Simmons cut loose with insults is automatically entertaining. Definitely one of the year's best that deserved a much larger release. I give it a Chigurh.

The Guest - I remember hearing about this movie very early in the year, but I forgot about it until I happened to rent it one weekend recently; I am so glad I rented this because it ended up being one of my favorites. People are comparing this to Drive for some reason, but that's unfair. The violence and music are similar to that great movie, but the tone of The Guest is much different. This is a very strange, violent dark comedy that you are either on board with or not. It plays like a slasher film disguised as a regular thriller. Dan Stevens (an actor I am barely aware but is famous for Downton Abbey) is great in the cheesiest possible way. This is just one of those movies that is tailor made for me. Writing about it makes me want to watch it again. I think this is one of the 2014 releases that will get re-watched by me for many years. I give it a Vader.

Blue Ruin - I came across this one on Netflix and was very impressed by it. It's your basic revenge story, but it is very minimalist and (I guess) realistic. The realistic element makes it kind of a dark comedy. This is what happens when a regular guy tries to exact revenge...he messes up. It's not one of my favorites, but it's worth a watch, especially if you have Netflix. I give it a Kurgan.

St. Vincent - I thought this Bill Murray movie was going to be sappy, and it was. But it was effective sappiness. The movie really drew me in emotionally. Some of it is too sentimental, but overall, it was a pleasing, emotional experience. I think it got brushed under the table a little too quickly. If you were on the fence about this one, you should give a try. I give it a Kurgan.

Ida - I generally do not watch foreign films the year they come out because they rarely see a release in America in time. But Ida is on Netflix already and since it's up for Best Foreign Language Film, I decided to watch it. I liked it, but it is exactly what you think when you hear "foreign film." It's in black and white, it's depressing, there is a lot of brooding, etc. But I liked it. The Cold War-era Eastern Europe setting appeals to me for some reason. Also, the way the film was shot was interesting. The shot selection is odd in that in many shots the main character's eyes are at the bottom of the frame while the rest of the focus seems to be on the ceiling. I'm not sure if that's meaningful in any way, but it certainly gave the film a certain style. I give it a Chigurh.

Force Majuere - Another foreign film I watched, but this one didn't get nominated. I really only watched it because I thought it would get nominated. I'm glad I watched it, though. It's such a strange film. It's about a family on a ski trip. When there's a near-avalanche, the mother protects her children while the father runs away. The rest of the film deals with the fallout of that reaction. It's interesting and at times darkly funny. It does drag on a bit, though. I give it a Kurgan.

A Most Violent Year - This movie is erroneously being compared to The Godfather. I don't write "erroneously" because it isn't good, but because this film doesn't attempt to be a classic gangster movie. I really enjoyed this one because of the originality of it. It takes place during 1981, one of the most violent years on record in New York City. It's about an immigrant (Oscar Isaac) who has risen up to be a power player in the heating oil industry. He wants to accomplish things legally, much to the chagrin of his mobster-daughter wife (Jessica Chastain). As I watched, I assumed this was based on some sort of true story. Who just makes up a drama about the heating oil industry? But this is an original screenplay from J. C. Chandor. Chandor has made a very slow burn type of movie reminiscent of the era it takes place in. It's not The Godfather, but it isn't trying to be. So leave that expectation behind, and you should come away pleased. I give it a Chigurh.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier - This isn't making my top ten or anything, but I really enjoyed it. I was lukewarm about the first film, but this one turned things around in a big way. It turns out I like Captain America in the modern era much more than his actual timeframe. The action is great, and all the comparisons to '70s-era conspiracy movies are apt. Definitely one of Marvel's best. I give it a Kurgan.

X-Men: Days of Future Past - This film deserves respect simply for existing. It plays like a comic book movie fan's dream. The combination of young and old cast members and the time travel plot are great. This was a very fun film that seems to have been largely forgotten already by the equally fun Guardians of the Galaxy. I too like Guardians more, but the X-Men will always have a place in my heart. Also, the Quicksilver scene is probably my favorite action sequence of the year. I give it a Kurgan.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - The improbably good series gets better with this installment. Hats off to the filmmakers for making the beginning part of the film ape-centric. The action is relatively sparse, but the main set piece is great. Matt Reeves keeps his long-take streak alive with a great sequence from the perspective of a tank cannon. I give it a Chirgurh.

Edge of Tomorrow - The awesome Tom Cruise sci-fi movie that apparently not many people wanted. It didn't bomb, exactly, but this film should have been huge. It's funny, there's awesome action, it's original, there is star power, etc. I guess the title was wrong, which is why you can now find it called Live. Die. Repeat. I don't care what you call it, it's awesome, and you should watch it. I give it a Kurgan.

Noah - This film has largely been forgotten as well despite the controversy upon its release. Darren Aronofsky's retelling of the popular Bible story is definitely weird, and it's better for it. I loved it for all the weirdness. Others may find it silly. This is the movie I loved this year that many others either hater or shrug off. That said, it still didn't crack my top ten. The reason for that is because I have come to expect so much from Aronofsky. I loved it, but as time went on very little of it stuck with me like Aronofsky's past work. I give it a Chigurh.

So there you have it: my jumbled thoughts on a bunch of good movies. Now I can write that top ten list finally...