For the most definitive article I've written on this film, click here for the article I wrote for the Midwest Film Journal.
As with The Phantom Menace, I’m just going to focus on what makes me love this movie. That said, any issues people have pointed out elsewhere (including myself in the Random Thoughts), I still agree with.
I consider all five post-Lucas movies to be the worst in the franchise (though I like them all to varying degrees), so when I rank Star Wars movies I’m thinking mainly about Episodes I-VI. Typically, I’ve considered Attack of the Clones the worst of these, but after a back-to-back rewatch of The Phantom Menace and this, I have to re-assess. As of this writing, I’m going with V, III, IV, VI, II, I.
For years, I’ve been blinded by Darth Maul. I love The Phantom Menace, but the older I get, the more the kiddie nature of it bothers me. Look, it’s a movie largely about a little kid, so it has to be kiddie. But I would rather watch something slightly more grown up, and that’s what Attack of the Clones is.
There’s still plenty of goofiness to go around (Jar Jar Binks still exists, for instance), but overall this is a much darker entry as the rise of the Empire is heavily foreshadowed. Even the score is darker, overall. It just makes for a more enjoyable experience for me.
Attack of the Clones has to be dark not only because of the eventual rise of the Empire, but also because Anakin has to go from annoying little boy to a moody teenager who will bring about the end of the Jedi.
Hayden Christensen’s acting has been critiqued for years, as have the “romantic” scenes between him and Natalie Portman. Those scenes are my least favorite moments in the film, and Christensen’s range is definitely limited. But I think he’s great at showing violent teen angst. And while I can’t get behind the romantic scenes completely, I can understand why the two characters fall in love.
I used to watch this film and think the love story only existed because these characters had to eventually have Luke and Leia, so since the audience already knew that, there was no need to make it all that convincing. But why can’t these two fall in love? Yeah, they barely know each other and their conversations are unbearable. But who didn’t know a couple like this in high school? And some of those high school couples actually end up staying together. It doesn’t make sense, but it fucking happens.
Is that a bit of a stretch or justification for weak writing? Absolutely. But that’s what being a fan of these movies is about for me. Rather than poke as many holes in it as I can, I would rather find a way for it all to make sense. Like Anakin, I can’t wish away all my feelings about parts of this movie, but I can tweak them a bit.
Christensen’s acting aside, I also used to take issue with Anakin as a character. How was this whiny asshole going to end being the most badass villain in cinematic history? As I’ve gotten older, it’s made more and more sense. He’s a teenager with mommy issues, unrequited love, and a mentor who constantly puts him down. Why wouldn’t he be angry and bitchy all the time?
Which brings me to Obi-Wan. I’ve liked Ewan McGregor from the beginning, but this movie truly convinced me that he was perfect as Obi-Wan. In fact, this was the movie that made me start to see the part as more of McGregor’s than Alec Guinness’s (and the ghost of Guinness would be just fine with that).
When I was closer to Anakin’s age in this, I liked that Obi-Wan was a bit of a dick to his padawan. Anakin annoyed me, and it was nice to see someone put him in his place. As I’ve gotten older and become a parent, I still like that Obi-Wan is a dick to Anakin, but I now also appreciate what he’s going through.
Obi-Wan is training this prophetic kid basically as a favor for his own dead mentor, Qui-Gon. He never asked for this. Yes, he does love Anakin, but in many ways he’s forced into the situation and tends to take this out on Anakin. Even when he compliments Anakin, he has to add little digs, like when he says, “Good call, my young padawan.” Why can’t he just compliment Anakin?
This is all there to foreshadow their eventual rift in the next film, but it also makes Obi-Wan an even more tragic character. If only he was better suited to be a parent or even a big brother, perhaps Anakin could have stayed on the right path. But Obi-Wan is more concerned with the Jedi order than with his personal relationship with Anakin, and that’s part of the problem with the Jedi.
The last aspect I want to focus on with this film is how it shows the setup for the downfall of the Jedi. I struggled with this the first few times I watched this. I just assumed that the Jedi were infallible, and they’re downfall was the fault of the Sith alone. But that’s not the case.
Count Dooku makes some good points about the Jedi Council, and when you watch their righteous blindness, it becomes clear that the Jedi are just as at fault for their downfall as the Sith. There is one character that embodies this perfectly in one short scene: Jedi archive librarian Jocasta Nu. You know, the lady who’s very shitty with Obi-Wan when he dares suggest the archives are incomplete.
Jocasta Nu won’t even consider the possibility that the archives are incomplete, and that’s the problem with the Jedi in general. They think they’re so good and righteous that they forget to look in the mirror from time to time. The rules and traditions are so important to them that they’re willing to ignore the crumbling foundation of their order.
Think about any scene with Yoda, Mace Windu, or any other member of the Council. They speak from a position of supreme wisdom. They know they are right, and everyone else must be wrong. They never stop to think how that might be perceived. And they’re far too busy being right to notice the rise of Sith right in front of them.
It was prophesied that Anakin would bring balance to the Force, and he did by destroying the Jedi. When he was done with them (as far as the movies were concerned at the time), there remained two Jedi (Obi-Wan and Yoda) and two Sith (Sidious and Vader). What did the Jedi think balance meant? They thought they were the only ones on the scales, and they paid the price for it.
Maybe I’m doing too much of the legwork for this movie, but that’s why I love these films. There’s so much vague mythology to work with that it’s kind of fun to make them work however I want. That might be sloppy storytelling, but that would be taking the negative view. I choose positivity, and that makes this film much more enjoyable.
Random Thoughts
Amidala is returning to Coruscant for a vote? She can't vote by proxy or hologram? Pretty harsh rules, but hey, we still have plenty of people in this country who think voting in person should be the only way.
I've never liked the Yoda line to Amidala about "warm feelings" in his heart.
You know you're hard up for people to share your feelings with when you're spilling your guts to fucking Jar Jar Binks.
"I don't think she liked me watching her." Good call on her part, you Padawan perv.
"Not another lecture. At least not on the economics of politics." This is an actual line in a Star Wars movie. At least the line is spoken off screen while the focus is on some killer worm things slithering around a room.
You can't really judge someone for being too reckless when you dove out of a window moments earlier.
Once again, I love the sound design of the prequels.
I really dislike the diner scene with Dex, mainly because the CG is total trash, and the idea of a 1950s style diner on Coruscant annoys me.
Jocasta Nu represents everything that is wrong with the Jedi.
The fact that Yoda teaches all the younglings explains why Obi-Wan can refer to him as "the Jedi Master who trained me" in Empire.
"Well, if it works…" Only a fuckhead like Anakin could make dabbling in fascism a flirtation tactic.
The dildo smirk Anakin gives Padmé moments after burying his mother (who had most likely been raped and tortured by Sand People for months based on how she was tied up when he found her) helps explain how his son, Luke, could get over the burnt corpses of his foster parents so quickly. Skywalkers are not sentimental people.
“If only Senator Amidala were here.”
“But wait! Meesa can helpa youse end the Republic!”
Not trying to be a Seperatist here, but Dooku makes some good points.
This is the first time I noticed Jar Jar said “dellow felegates” when addressing the Senate. For fuck’s sake…
I know these movies are CG heavy, and that really doesn’t bother me all that much, but that factory sequence is hard to sit through.
“Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me.” Not quite.
Do the bug people really need to keep prodding the executioner beasts? They seem naturally kill-crazy already.
The Trade Federation dudes hate Amidala so fucking much it’s hilarious. That laugh one of them does after she gets clawed is great.
“Patience, Viceroy, patience. She will die.”
“...once she’s lost the will to live.”
Fuck continuity, after “This is such a drag” and “I’m quite beside myself,” they should have killed C3PO.
Yoda has to be the worst possible person to give military commands.
Christopher Lee looks so fucking stupid riding that scooter-thing.
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