This is a bit embarrassing, but I think this was actually the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie I ever watched. In my defense, I am very late to the party with this franchise, as I was almost exclusively a Friday the 13th kid growing up (even with that, I wasn’t hardcore into it until recently; I just wasn’t all that into horror when I was younger). Because of this, I assumed this remake was simply a slicked up version of the original with more gore and better special effects. I dug this when I first saw it, and it is still my favorite of all the remakes of the classics from that time (which isn’t saying much, since most people hate the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street remakes).
When I finally came to appreciate the original film in all its simple, quiet brilliance that explodes into the most nightmarish household imaginable, it made me reevaluate the remake. I still like it, but for new reasons.
Originally, I just liked the straight up horror of the film. Young people get stranded in the middle of nowhere Texas, stumble upon a creepy ass house (more on that later), horrible violence ensues. I thought director Marcus Nispel crafted a fine slasher flick, even if it felt a little too Hollywood at times (for instance, Jessica Biel just looks out of place in the film because she looks like a beautiful woman from 2003, not 1973). I enjoyed the addition of R. Lee Ermey (basically playing a slightly more psychotic version of his character from Full Metal Jacket), and Andrew Bryniarski makes for an appropriately hulking Leatherface.
Nothing about the movie blew me away; I just found it to be a good time, especially since I didn’t hold the original sacred. Watching it again, now with the original one of my favorite horror films of all time, I still enjoyed it because it wasn’t strict about its faithfulness to the original.
The original film has a documentary style realism to it that adds to the horror. You feel like you’re seeing a home video of a road trip gone horribly wrong. The music is minimal. The house is unassuming from the outside. It’s creepy as fuck.
The remake is none of those things. It very much feels like a big budget update of an independent film. The music is traditionally creepy. And the house looks so fucked up from the outside it makes you want to scream at the characters, “Stay the fuck away from that place! Are you fucking blind, you way-too-hot-for-the-period characters?”
The house is almost a dealbreaker for me with this remake. I’m all for doing things differently (which is why Part 2 is my favorite of the sequels), but that house in the original is so effective, it feels wrong to give the outside of it a haunted house makeover. That doesn’t mean I dislike the image of it. I actually think it looks amazing, especially placed in the middle of a field by itself. The house is suitably imposing. But the point of the original is that it isn’t imposing.
The house in the first film is approachable in an emergency; the house from the remake is not. Apologies to any friends I might go on a road trip with, but if they go missing and the house from the remake is the closest place to search, then they are fucked because I’m steering clear of that obvious murder house.
As I stated in my article about the original, the dinner scene haunts me. And it is haunting because from the outside of the house, no one could reasonably assume all that fucked up shit is happening in there. The house from the remake should be raided by the police for its appearance alone. They could just show a Polaroid of the exterior to a judge, and the judge would approve of the warrant without any other info.
My nitpicky qualms about the house aside, this is actually an upper tier entry in the series, though that’s not saying much. They weren’t trying to capture the essence of the original. They just wanted to take that story and make a brutal, gory version of it, and they succeeded. The main downside to this remake is that it was successful, which led to way too many further sequels and prequels being greenlit, which I will unfortunately be covering in the weeks ahead.
Random Thoughts
I'm working my way through the entire series (did you know there are NINE of these fucking movies?!).
R. Lee Ermey is a nice addition to the family, but that's just because I enjoy watching him fuck with hippies.
Ermey's presence here truly elevates the film. Tobe Hooper claims the original was meant to be more comedic than people perceived (which is why he leaned into so much with the second one), so it's fitting to have him as a bit of sadistic comic relief.
Speaking of which, they have to be driving the most '70s van ever: Foot print gas pedal. Alfred E. Neumann poster. "Shit happens" bumper sticker. "Hippie chicks rule" bumper sticker. Lady silhouette mud flaps. Skynyrd on the radio. Peace sign sticker. Piñata full of weed. Hula girl on the dash. Troll doll keychain. Forrest Gump himself would be ashamed to be around so many gimmicky pop culture accessories.
No comments:
Post a Comment