Halloween - Ranked

When I started watching this entire series, I wasn’t much of a fan. I had seen the original and a handful of sequels, but there were a lot of blindspots. Now that I’ve watched them all (some of them multiple times), I’m definitely a fan of the series, though it still ranks beneath Friday the 13th for me. For the most part, I enjoy the original but then I want something different from the sequels and remakes. The series is so all over the place, but I find something to enjoy in all of these movies. Some are funny, some are brutal, some are so bad they’re good, etc. In other words, this isn’t a scientific ranking. It’s just which ones are my favorite at the time. I’ve already written about all of these in individual articles, so I’ll keep my reasoning short for each entry. Just know that this is the ranking of someone who watched all of these close together and that rewatchability is a big factor for me.

Oh, and speaking as someone who has done a number of these horror rankings now, this series is the absolute worst when it comes to keeping the titles unique. There are three Halloweens and two Halloween IIs, for instance. It makes writing about it annoying as I don’t like having to include years in parentheses after the title. Anyway, I just wanted to bitch about that a little. 

1. Halloween (1978)

When I first watched this years ago, I didn’t understand why it was considered a classic, especially in terms of John Carpenter’s work. While it’s still a bit low among Carpenter’s work for me, my appreciation of this as a slasher film has grown with each new viewing. I love the simplicity of it. There is no baggage to this film that every sequel and remake inevitably has to deal with. You can just sit back and enjoy it. I also like how much of it takes place during the day time, and, of course, Carpenter’s music is perfect.

2. Halloween Ends

I imagine I lost a few people with this one, but who cares? I love this entry. I honestly considered putting it at number one for a bit. The mood of the film gets me every time, and I honestly cared about what happened to the main characters. The “ending” promised by the title felt a little tacked on, but I also appreciate the filmmakers finally giving this series a definitive ending…until the next reboot, that is.

3. Halloween Kills

This felt like a brutal ‘80s slasher done with the craft I’ve come to expect from David Gordon Green. It’s hyper violent and goofy. That might put some people off, but that’s what I want from this series. If it wasn’t for the “Evil dies tonight” stuff, it would be number 2, at least.

4. Halloween (2018)

Obviously, the new movies worked for me. Each one felt different, which I appreciated, with this one feeling like an attempt to make it like the original. They did a good job of it, but it also makes it the least interesting entry in the new trilogy. Still, it’s leaps and bounds above the other nonsense.

5. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Honestly, this one shouldn’t even be considered a Halloween movie. But once you get past the fact that this was an attempt to turn the series into an anthology series rather than a Michael Myers series, there’s a lot of fun to be had with it. My favorite aspect is how much of a dirtbag Tom Atkins is in it. At one point, he seems to slow the investigation down just so he can get some beer. And the mythology stuff they made up for this is so wacky you have to laugh. 

6. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Much like my enjoyment of III, this is definitely in the “so bad it’s good” territory. I prefer the Producer’s Cut, but it’s still incomprehensible trash. There are magic runes and a cult or something. It’s wild. But they were going for something with this nonsense, and I appreciate it.

7. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

This one is sloppy, but it has my favorite Loomis appearance. He is so unhinged in this, and it’s great. He holds up a child as bait for Michael Myers at one point. It’s nuts. This set of movies really made Loomis seem crazier than Michael.

8. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

This one get a lot of love from the fans as a return to form for the series, but I found it a bit boring. I get that bringing Michael back was a popular move, but I only enjoy this one because it’s the beginning of Loomis totally losing his mind.

9. Halloween II (1981)

This one is fine if you just wanted a direct continuation of the first film, just done a bit more poorly. But it features a horror movie pet peeve that I cannot stand with the dark, empty hospital. Maybe hospitals were like that back then, but I just find it crazy that there’s hardly anyone around, and they keep the lights off. And I don’t like that this one created the “Laurie is Michael’s sister” plotline.

10. Halloween II (2009)

I claimed to want something different from the sequels, and Rob Zombie delivered with this one. It’s just not a fun watch for me. I appreciate it, and it’s honestly more interesting than most of the films in this series. But for my rankings, I have to put it near the bottom because I never want to see it again.

11. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

Maybe I’m too harsh with this one, but I just didn’t care for how much it was trying to be Scream with Michael Myers.

12. Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie made this his own, but he was handcuffed by the mythology, forced to give all the backstory of Myers that I’m just not interested in. And just like his much better sequel, it’s not a fun watch for me. It’s an ugly, brutal movie, and I appreciate that, but give me crazy Loomis and magic rocks over this shit every time.

13. Halloween: Resurrection

I do enjoy Busta Rhymes in this piece of dog shit, but overall this is just the laziest entry in the series. And the tacked on beginning featuring Jamie Lee Curtis is a middle finger to the series. This stupidity should be a lot more fun, but for me, it was just unbearable.