I got the new 35th anniversary 4K edition of Kickboxer (featuring the badass lenticular slipcase seen above) this past Christmas, and after watching it six times since then, I feel like I can write something about it.
First off, I’ve written about a lot of Van Damme movies, but I’ve held off on this one. While Bloodsport is awesome, Kickboxer is what started my JCVD fandom. I’ve watched this movie too many times to count, and I will watch it countless times in the future. Because of this, I didn’t think I’d have much to say about it beyond, “Man, this is awesome.” It’s easier to write about Van Damme movies if they’re more outrageous (Street Fighter) or just bad (Double Team). But with this new release, it’s time to finally address my favorite Van Damme movie.
Man, Kickboxer is awesome. Seriously, this is all I want from a Van Damme movie: broken English, splits training, nonsensical training, montages with on-the-nose song choices, slo-mo roundhouse kicks, Van Damme dancing, Van Damme drunk acting, and revenge. I know this isn’t objectively good, but I love it.
Watching it over and over again allows me to notice new elements. This time, a couple things stuck out to me. First, there’s a scene I’m now obsessed with. The drunk dancing stuff and Eric being a dick and doing the “Can he move like me?” stuff is great, but it’s played out. This time, Van Damme being distracted by a bird cracked me up.
Van Damme and Eric are training in the park after they get to Thailand (and Eric has had a chance to catch gonorrhea from the local talent), and they begin talking about their respective childhoods. This is mainly used as an explanation for Van Damme’s accent and loose grip on the English language, but there’s a moment in which he tells Eric that their deceased father would have been proud of him. Eric agrees, looking down for a moment in contemplation while Van Damme, having heard a bird chirping in a cage a local is holding, wanders off to check it out. Eric, rightfully annoyed, calls Van Damme back and training continues.
It’s just such a random little moment, and I’ve somehow never really noticed it. Now it’s one of my favorite scenes. I mean, Van Damme wanders over there and stares at that bird like such a dumbass that you wonder if he’s ever seen a bird before. Perhaps it’s just great acting, but I think Van Damme really got distracted during the scene and wanted to see the bird. There’s no callback to it later, and it’s not like Van Damme talks about his love of birds or anything. It makes no sense…or does it?
Watching this movie over and over again, you’re forced to pay more attention to the dialogue. While writing about the bird scene, a line from early in the film came back to me and unlocked an aspect of Van Damme’s character. While talking to reporters about going to Thailand to prove that he’s the best kickboxer in the world, Eric says Van Damme wants to be a vet (though Eric wants him to be a lawyer). It’s never brought up again, but there are animal elements later on that make a lot more sense with the vet stuff in mind.
First, Van Damme’s fascination with the bird makes much more sense, as he’s an animal lover and wants to check out a bird he’s never seen before. The scene still needs more of an explanation, such as Van Damme telling Eric that it’s a rare whatever bird native to Thailand or something, and then Eric can say something funny and disparaging about Van Damme wanting to be a vet. But I’ll let it slide.
The other part that it unlocked for me I used to just write off as a silly trope of martial arts movies. As Van Damme focuses during his fight with Tong Po, he remembers his time training in the ancient ruins or whatever. He has a vision of fighters from the past and, more importantly, he hears and sees an eagle, which seems to give him the power he needs to defeat Tong Po.
Part of the reason I just dismissed this as a trope is the movie Hot Rod. In that film, Andy Samberg invokes the spirits of animals multiple times to give him the strength to perform stunts and/or fight his stepdad. I can’t find anything to confirm this, but I’m convinced this is inspired by Kickboxer.
There are actually a few similarities between Hot Rod and Kickboxer. There’s the spiritual connection to animals, the fight scenes with Ian McShane, the training scenes/montages set to ‘80s music, the relationship between brothers, a family member with a serious medical condition, etc. It’s not a full on parody or remake or anything, but I think it’s safe to say Kickboxer, and films like it, were a big inspiration for Hot Rod.
Or maybe I watched Kickboxer one too many times, and it’s time to shut up about it.
Special Features
International Cut
The international cut is a nice addition beyond being a new version because it's in 4x3 and not fully restored, making it more like the viewing experience most people had the first time they saw it.
If this was as cleaned up as the theatrical cut, it would probably be my preferred version. But there's not enough differences for me to consistently revisit it. Plus, I was hoping an “international cut” meant full frontal nudity, but there isn't any.
It’s really only required viewing for hardcore losers like me, which is what you are if you own this version.
I’ve seen people praise it for restoring Eric’s original voice, but the dubbing has never bothered me, mainly because the edited cut is what I grew up with. And I think that’s the main takeaway here: if you grew up with this cut, now you have the best version of it. If you grew up with the edited cut, it’s just nice to have the option to check out the international cut.
The Interviews
The director of photography has the longest interview, and he has some decent behind the scenes stuff about Van Damme blowing up on set one day, yelling “Stallone was right!” But my favorite fact was about the torches during the final fight; he said there was no way they could get away with that in America because they were kerosene torches and created a lot of smoke, “but it looked great on camera.”
The Tong Po interview is okay, but he just seems to be jazzed that people still give a fuck about this silly movie.
The JCVD interview is the boundless drivel you've come to expect from him at this point.
The Commentaries
The first commentary was okay, but it was largely just them praising the movie.
The second commentary was rough. It features one of the directors, David Worth, who is in his 80s. He sounds like a bad Biden impression throughout the whole thing. The moderator tries his best to keep things moving, but you mainly end up with interactions like this: “David, where did this scene come from?” David: “It was written.” Sure, not the most dynamic question, but the moderator didn’t have much to work with. And, of course, there’s the possibility that there doesn’t need to be any commentaries for this movie, much less two, and my dumbass didn’t need to listen to either of them, but it is what it is.
Random Thoughts
First off, this might sound weird but it almost feels wrong for this movie to look this good.
Eric introduces Kurt as wanting to be a vet, but he wants him to be a lawyer. I wouldn't trust JCVD with my dog or my legal needs.
Eric Sloan is the fucking man. The first thing he does, after placating his loser brother and going for a boat ride, is pick up a hooker and bring her back to his hotel. “Hey man, the champ needs herpes if he's going to fight Tong Po!”
That said, who gives a prostitute flowers? I know Eric's the man, but that's some beta shit.
Kurt Sloan doesn't sound like the name of a guy with a thick Belgian accent speaking broken English, but at least they came up with a reason for JCVD to be from Belgium in this instead of just expecting the audience to go with it.
During a heartfelt conversation between the two brothers, Van Damme gets distracted by a bird and walks off to check it out. I fucking love this movie.
One of the best things anyone has ever done online is create a loop of Eric doing the “Can he move like me?” routine.
Eric gets his ass annihilated for a whole round, and his first comment is about the music driving him crazy. He has a point; that music is insufferable.
Winston doesn't give JCVD a ride because there are two more fights. So the heavyweight champion from America fighting the best in the country is an undercard?
“You aren’t good enough!” You’re right, Winston, but how the fuck would you know?
You know that feeling you get when your brother's just been paralyzed in a kickboxing match, and you need to go sightseeing in Bangkok during a montage until you stumble across a kickboxing gym?
“But you are American.”
What are you talking about, Xian? Your English is better than his. Why would you make that assumption?
So much of the training is about making him flexible enough to do the splits. This is truly a JCVD origin story.
Eric's first words to Kurt after waking up from his injury: “This is Lo. He's teaching me how to ask the nurse for a blow job.” (International cut)
While I appreciate the international cut's inclusion of a scene with Eric breaking down and telling Kurt to get revenge on Tong Po and “fuck him up!”, I like the theatrical cut better because the first time we see Eric post-injury it's a dialogue free scene of him using a wheelchair and pinching a nurse’s ass.
“Kurt, put on your sluttiest tank top. You know, the one with the weird shoulder clasps? We’re going dancing.”
Wait…the dancing scene is longer in the international cut, making it undeniably better.
What was the dude who picked up the table going to do with it? He just picked it up, held it in front of him, screamed, and waited for JCVD to kick him into the water.
“Why doze guys try to huuurt me?” is still my favorite line reading of Van Damme's career.
“What are they saying?”
“Nok su kao. ‘White warrior.’”
Fucking racists.
I love JCVD, but if his blood got splattered on my face, taking a taste would be the last fucking thing I would do. I’d probably find the nearest bottle of bleach and douse myself with it.
God, I love the abrupt endings to movies like this.
