"Tombstone" - 'Tom Mix wept' and other reasons why I love this western.

As always, I write these articles under the assumption that you’ve seen the movie, so...SPOILERS. But if you haven’t seen Tombstone, how have you ended up on this page?

The birth of my second child put a bit of a delay on my monthly output for the site. I originally planned on getting this movie, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, and one more random selection before the end of June as part of my plan for a Van Damme, a western, a comedy, and a grab bag selection each month. Hopefully I get back into some form of a routine (not sure that’s possible with an infant and a toddler in the house) and accomplish that for the rest of July. As for now, enjoy my ramblings on Tombstone, and then I’ll move on to one of my favorite Van Damme movies: Double Impact. 

A western more concerned with characters than shootouts...but there are still plenty of shootouts.

Tombstone is beloved among pretty much all my friends and most men and women I've ever brought this movie up to, and that's rare for a western. Westerns have their base audience, of course, but it's typically a niche audience these days. I think this is because filmmakers of westerns in the last two to three decades have been hellbent on not being traditional. This has made for some very interesting, entertaining films in the genre (which I will be writing about in the coming months), but it has also shrunk the audience for the genre. Perhaps that's why people love Tombstone so much. It didn't shy away from early westerns; it wanted to be like them.

(That above paragraph was not supposed to be in bold, but this is blogger, and nearly every article I write has one paragraph that stays bold no matter what I do.)

This isn’t to say Tombstone isn’t interesting, far from it. I do think of it as a very traditional western, which is still something audiences want to see. But more than that, audiences want to see great characters portrayed by great actors, and Tombstone has a ton of both. 

My love of the characters and actors of this film stuck out to me this viewing primarily because I found the biggest action sequence, the “hunting of the Cowboys” montage, to be the least interesting portion of the movie. Normally, you think of westerns and shootouts come to mind, especially for a western based around one of the most famous shootouts in Wild West history. But I didn’t care about the action. It’s not that it’s bad action; I just think it pales in comparison to the character work done earlier in the film.

So I just want to break down what I love about every character in this movie. Before I do that, I have to point out that this movie is so beloved because it is one of the most quotable movies of all time. I single out most of my favorites in the Random Thoughts section, but this is one of those movies I think I could recite verbatim. Anyway, on to the characters:

Wyatt Earp - This is basically his movie, of course, but I think Kurt Russell’s performance makes the character here. His presence is just so powerful. I mean, he just looks like he belongs in a western. And yeah, he gets some pretty awesome tough guy moments (“Are you going to do something or just stand there and bleed?”). Overall, a classic western character.

Virgil Earp - It’s Sam Elliott! For a western like this, it’s a necessity to cast him. My favorite moments are right after he defies Wyatt and takes the law enforcement job. Not only does he have a couple great arguments with Wyatt, but he also gets to have it out with Ike Clanton. One of my favorite moments is when Virgil finally snaps when Ike keeps calling the Earps “pimps.” The rage in his Elliott’s face looks legitimate when goes after Ike.

Morgan Earp - Man, I miss Bill Paxton. Perfectly cast as the fun-loving Earp brother, Paxton is just a guy you want to hang out with. He eventually joins the fight, too, but for the most part Morgan is just there to have a good time and help out his brothers. He reminds me of Cal from Talladega Nights, and I sincerely believe John C. Reilly used this character as inspiration for his performance.

Ike Clanton - According to director George P. Cosmatos, Stephen Lang was drunk the whole shoot, and I found an interview in which Lang basically admits he didn’t drink any water during this shoot. That alone makes me love his performance. He is so effectively skeezy throughout. And I just like the way he says things, especially “law dog” and “you goddamned pimps!” 

Doc Holliday - Everybody loves Val Kilmer in this movie and rightfully so. It’s arguably his best performance (I’m a big fan of his Jim Morrison, too), and he’s one of the most quotable characters ever. Kilmer’s performance is what sells it all. His southern aristocratic accent is perfect for Holliday’s constant sarcasm.

Curly Bill - Powers Boothe is what started me down this current western path, and this performance is one of my favorites. His maniacal laughter throughout is great. I only wish he was the true villain of the film. I feel like he deserved a bit more screentime, but what we get is gold. Plus, he produced the best meme from the movie with his delivery of “well...bye.”

Johnny Ringo - I’m a bit lukewarm on Ringo these days. As a kid, I thought of him as a bad ass villain. Now, his whole existential angst gets on my nerves a bit. I guess I just wanted to see more Curly Bill than Ringo. I do like Michael Biehn in the role, however.

Johnny Tyler - Sure, this is basically just a cameo for Billy Bob Thornton, but it’s so enjoyable. I could watch that scene over and over.

Jane - Let’s face it, Tombstone is a man’s movie right down to the cast. The women are there only as significant others. That said, Jane was interesting, and it’s unfortunate that she’s not given a bit more to do. Doc obviously loved her, and she was definitely into their lifestyle, but we only get glimpses of it.

Josephine - She’s kind of a manic pixie dream girl of the Wild West. So many scenes involve her simply smiling brightly until Wyatt notices. That said, she is a progressive female character who speaks her mind, which is refreshing.

Mattie - Poor Mattie, on the other hand, is woefully mistreated by Wyatt. Yes, she has a laudanum problem, but Wyatt is too busy trying to milk every dime he can out of Tombstone or start a relationship with an actress to meaningfully help her with her problem. I feel like the movie set her up as an addict, which was supposed to make us not care when Wyatt cheated on her. As I see it, Wyatt needed to devote himself more to her then than ever before, and he chose money and an easier relationship instead.

How was this a mess behind the scenes?

I somehow never came across any behind the scenes stories about this movie until I decided to write this article. Apparently screenwriter Kevin Jarre was given this as his directorial debut, but was fired a month in because it was just too much for a first time director. George P. Cosmatos was brought it with almost no prep whatsoever to finish the job. He immediately had the script cut down to focus more on the Earps and went from there. 

That alone is very interesting as such problems usually lead to messy, uneven films. Added to this is Kurt Russell’s later claim that he basically directed the movie and Cosmatos was simply there to supervise. And then Kilmer came out and said that wasn’t entirely true, but Russell did go above and beyond to keep the film going. I listened to a bit of Cosmatos’s commentary, and I’m more inclined to believe Kilmer here. He gives way too much detail about mundane aspects of the film to have merely been a supervisor. And he does mention that the whole project was very collaborative, and that the actors went beyond their required duties to make sure the film was good. 

No matter who really directed it, Tombstone is an anomaly in that it turned out so great despite the chaos behind the scenes. Perhaps Russell does deserve most of the credit. He seemed destined to play Earp, so maybe he saw the potential for greatness in the role and the overall film and made sure it worked out. Either way, all involved should be proud that they produced such an enjoyable, quotable, and awesome western.

Why do I own this?

I think every dude of the ‘90s is required to own this movie. Plus, the special edition is pretty awesome.

Random Thoughts

I'm sorry, but I want to be in the gang that has Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn, an impossibly dirty Stephen Lang, Thomas Haden Church, and Michael Rooker.

I like how Curly Bill's threat at the beginning ends with, "I ain't kiddin', neither." You just killed half the village, Bill, we know you're not bluffin'.

One of the roles Kurt Russell was meant to play, along with Snake Plissken, MacReady, John Ruth, Jack Burton, and, uh...Captain Ron.

And of course Sam Elliott is meant to be in this movie. 

Maddie asking for laudanum is quite a bit of foreshadowing. It's also an example of Wild West ridiculousness that always cracks me up: the rampant use of laudanum. 

This is Frank Stallone's shining moment.

This movie is endlessly quotable, but Billy Bob's line, "Christ almighty! It's like I'm sittin' here playin' cards with my brother's kids or something. You nerve-wrackin' sons-a-bitches!" is possibly my favorite. 

Speaking of Billy Bob, he's nearly unrecognizable in this.

How was Kilmer not nominated for this?

"Johnny, I apologize. I forgot you were there. You may go now."

Wyatt Earp is a greedy dick for the first half of this movie, what with his obsession with money and his presumptuous turning down of law enforcement jobs before they're offered. 

Bill Paxton's "aw shucks" portrayal of Morgan is great.

"Prettiest man I ever saw." 

The camera stays on Jason Priestly watching Billy Zane for a full six seconds, which doesn't sound long but is actually an eternity. 

The Holliday/Ringo interaction gets most of the love, but I'm partial to Ike Clanton's "law dog" threats to Wyatt at the saloon. 

This movie was the first time I heard "in vino veritas," which I totally said all the time when I first started drinking. 

"I don't laugh all day long like an idiot."

Curly Bill has quite the reaction to opium: shooting randomly, literally howling at the moon, and shooting a marshal. 

"I swear to God, law dog, let him go."

"Talk to him, will you? Or hit him?"

I love how Ike calls the Earps “pimps.” I think Ike Clanton might be my favorite character in this movie.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Lunger."

Gesturing towards Holliday's exit. "Well, I hope you die!"

“I don’t take no mouth from no bartenders, neither. There, you see? Give somebody a rap on the beard, get some respect around here.” Is immediately pistol-whipped.

I’ve always thought Virgil’s pistol-whipping of Ike was pretty weak.

“I ain’t easy, and I ain’t your kid. You take sorry and shove it up your ass!” That would be a pretty badass moment if that dude wasn’t immediately pistol-whipped to the ground with his own gun.

Thomas Haden Church cracks me up in this, too. He’s always just adding to what others say. Like adding, “Bastards. It’s comin’!” as they ride off from jail. Good one, Lowell!

I think this is the first time I noticed the wagon of women going by with the sign “Equal pay for equal work. No matter the gender.” 

The fire before the famous shootout is apparently accurate. I just like how all the guys just look at it with no concern at all as they keep walking.

I love how Wyatt tells Ike, “The fight’s commenced. Get to fightin’ or get out of the way!” It’s like, “Hey, Ike, you know the rules of gunfights, damn it!”

“I’m not going to fight you, Ringo. There’s no money in it.” Greedy Earp at it again.

I love how Ringo pronounces “lunger,” emphasizing the “g.”

“Somebody get that goddamn dog outta here!” Seriously, why is Morgan’s wife and a dog still in there while they’re trying to dig a bullet out of his back?

“Well...bye.” This is why I love Powers Boothe.

I guess I forgot about Doc’s deathbed confession about being in love with his 15-year-old cousin, who became a nun after their affair…

I love all the abrupt info in the ending narration. Ike Clanton was killed two years later. Mattie died of an overdose soon after leaving Tombstone. Good to know they didn’t forget about these characters.

Possibly my favorite ending line of a movie ever because of its randomness: “Tom Mix wept.”

..

Bill Paxton Tribute, Part 2: "Frailty" - "Only demons should fear me. And you're not a demon, are you?"

I planned on writing this earlier, but, as usual, I kept putting it off. I'm glad that I did, though, since this is part of my tribute to Bill Paxton, and it's likely that many people have already forgotten about his death. So this was an excuse for me to keep his work in mind and revisit one of my favorite Paxton films.

Frailty is unique to Paxton's filmography in that it's one of his two feature directing credits (the other is The Greatest Game Ever Played). It's also a very unique film in general. A single dad (Paxton) raises his two boys, Fenton and Adam, in 1970s Texas. Everything is normal until the dad (his character is never named) claims he has been visited by an angel and tasked with destroying demons. The younger son is all in and believes in his dad's new purpose. The older son, Fenton, is skeptical, of course, but becomes horrified when his dad starts kidnapping and killing people (he says the demons will appear to be normal people). 

To this day, I find the plot of this film fascinating. If you just imagine the situation of the film, it's insane. Paxton elevates it because he is so perfect for the role. Who better to play a simple Texan father and a seemingly crazed demon slayer? 

My group of friends was drawn to this film upon its release (we were in high school at the time) because we were fans of Paxton. Like with most things with my group of friends, I cannot explain why this film stuck out to us, or why we still quote it when we see Paxton in something (our go-to line is the one in the title of this article). Paxton just had an indescribable quality that spoke to us. The most impressive thing about Paxton was his ability to ride the line between sincerity and hilarity. I loved his performances for their goofiness, even when he was in a serious movie. Frailty is the ultimate example of this. 

(Minor and major SPOILERS from here on out.) In Frailty, Paxton is full of goofy charm as a single dad. He makes lame dad jokes and is constantly drinking Hamm's beer. (Hamm's is a very cheap beer, and I found it hilarious that it was his beer of choice in the film. It's even funnier when you check out the film's trivia section on IMDb, and it claims that they had to use the same can of Hamm's throughout the shoot because they could only find on period-specific can. And that can was already opened, so every time he drinks one [which is nearly every scene, by the way], the sound of a can opening has to happen offscreen. I like to think this ridiculous attention to detail was all Paxton.) 

Notice the period-specific can of Hamm's in front of Paxton.

But the movie takes a severely dark turn when goofy dad starts murdering people with an axe. This is where Paxton's performance gets risky. Can you take this guy seriously as an axe murderer. Somehow, you can. Paxton was great at comedy, but he was also great at showing determination. You believe that his character believes he is killing demons, which makes him scary. That said, when he first started talking about the demon hunting, you can't help but laugh. He comes across an axe named "Otis," for God's sake! It's easy, and I believe intentional, to laugh when Paxton tells his boys with complete sincerity that "the angel" told him to do this or that. 

When Paxton starts killing people, I still found it a bit funny, but in a dark, twisted way (my sense of humor is all messed up). Something about seeing Paxton yell while swinging an axe makes me giggle. Frailty could have left the movie like this: a dad claims he's hunting demons and we never find out what was really happening. Ambiguity like that is usually celebrated in film. But Frailty goes all in and reveals that Paxton is actually killing demons, and doubting Fenton is wrong. That reveal made me love the film. I like ambiguity in films as much as anyone (it's always interesting to leave things up to the audience's imagination), but it's also nice to see a movie with the guts to say, "This is what's happening; it is not open to interpretation." To be clear, there is a little ambiguity to the film, and I'm sure some people have the theory that the reveal is only in Adam's mind, and he's as crazy as his dad. I think that's stretching it, though. Paxton was a straightforward actor and a straightforward director. Frailty is what it seems to be. 

I haven't even mentioned the other actors (Matthew McConaughey and Powers Booth) or other crazy elements (Fenton digging a giant hole for days) because this article is all about Bill Paxton. But know that Frailty is good film all around. Let's face it, though, it's Paxton's movie. He may be gone, but he left an amazing body of work to revisit anytime you start to miss his goofy charm. R.I.P. Bill Paxton.

Bill Paxton Tribute, Part One: "Club Dread" - "I think you mean 'Pina Coladaburg.'"

I tend not to get very sad when famous people die. I find it hard to get upset about someone I never actually met. That said, Bill Paxton's death really bummed me out. I grew up in the 90s, so I first noticed Paxton as the sniveling used car salesman in True Lies. For some odd reason, my friends and I still quote his character regularly (our favorite lines are, "Would a spy pee himself?" and "I got a little dick. It's pathetic!"). So I appreciated his more popular work in Tombstone and Aliens in later years. I've always found the guy to be hilarious, even when he was being serious. For example, the excellent Frailty was a source of humor among my friends, even though we also appreciated it as a thriller. (I might go ahead and write about that film next since I own it, and it was one of Paxton's only directing credits.) Paxton was always a highlight in whatever he was in.

I revisit Paxton's work often. I watch True Lies and Tombstone at least once a year. In fact, I was watching Tombstone the Saturday he died, though I didn't know he was dead at that point. I wanted to write about Paxton, but I didn't want to focus on one of the roles being mentioned in all the articles about his death.

What that in mind, I decided to revisit one of his more forgotten roles: Coconut Pete from Club Dread. Club Dread was Broken Lizard's followup to Super Troopers. It's essentially an homage/spoof to 80s slasher films. A killer terrorizes the staff of an island resort owned and occupied by musician Coconut Pete (Paxton). Initially, I didn't care for the film, but Paxton's character stood out. Coconut Pete is basically a burnt out Jimmy Buffett. It's hard not to laugh at a long-haired Bill Paxton singing about things like a "seahorse whorehouse."

Club Dread as a whole is actually underrated, but I doubt you'll find anyone (even the members of Broken Lizard) who doesn't think Paxton's scenes are the highlight of the film. My biggest complaint is that he isn't in more of the film.

My favorite moment has to be the campfire scene. First, you get to hear a great song ("Ponytails and Cocktails"). Second, you get some sweet Jimmy Buffett jokes. It turns out that Buffett's "Margaritaville" is a rip-off of Pete's "Pina Coladaburg," which Pete wrote "seven and a half fuckin' years before 'Margaritaville' was even on the map!" Pete storms off, calling Buffett a "son of a son of a bitch" and a "mother motherfucker."

Another highlight is Pete losing his mind explaining how to make his famous paella to the new cooks. The Coconut Pete album covers are pretty great, too. To stop myself from simply listing everything Paxton does in the movie, I'll just say that he makes the movie worth watching or, in my case, revisiting.

Aside from Paxton, I kind of hated Club Dread the first time I saw it. I remember liking Coconut Pete and thinking the life-size Pac-Man maze was cool. The whole slasher spoof aspect was lost on me. I'm not sure if I just didn't get it the first time I watched it or what, but I was not impressed. Watching it now, I appreciate all of the jokes much more. I still consider this a weaker comedy than Super Troopers or Beerfest, but it's a movie I'm glad I own.

Without Paxton, I don't think I could recommend Club Dread. And that isn't just hyperbole now that he's gone. Credit to Broken Lizard for creating the character (who would think of lampooning Jimmy Buffett?), but Paxton runs with it. When given the freedom to go a little nuts, Paxton could make a character that makes an entire film worth watching. That's certainly the case with Club Dread.