James Bond - Overall Ranking

Originally, I revisited the James Bond movies simply because I wanted to see them all finally. Then I decided to write about each Bond actor’s set of movies because it seemed silly to watch that many movies and only write Letterboxd entries for them. After ranking the movies of each Bond actor, I figured I also needed to rank the movies altogether. Since I’ve already written as extensively as I plan to about the films of Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, and Craig, this list will be very sparse, only one or two sentences per entry. This ranking isn’t about which film is objectively best; it’s about my personal favorites, and which ones I consider rewatchable. Also, I am counting Never Say Never Again in the list; it may not be canon in the proper series, but I still consider it a Bond movie since Connery was in it (I don’t count the original Casino Royale because that was more like Austin Powers than James Bond). With that out of the way, here is my ranking of the Bond franchise.

1. Casino Royale

The only Bond movie I watch at least once a year; just a perfect introduction to my favorite Bond.

2. Skyfall

A very close second; the most straightforward and enjoyable of the Craig Bonds.

3. GoldenEye

This is a total nostalgia pick partially because of the game, but I truly love this one to this day.

4. From Russia with Love

If I’m watching Connery as Bond, this is my pick; and the locations are amazing in this one.

5. Spectre

This will raise some eyebrows, but I thoroughly enjoy Craig’s Bond getting his first traditional (and slightly goofy) outing as Bond with the gadgets and all the side character mainstays.

6. Goldfinger

The best music in the series, and that’s saying something.

7. No Time to Die

It’s a bit messy as it feels like two different types of Bond movies combined (the serious first three Craig movies combined with the sillier Spectre), but I like both types, so it worked for me.

8. You Only Live Twice

This is the type of Bond movie that Austin Powers was spoofing, and for good reason: it’s silly and awesome.

9. The Living Daylights

The original serious Bond.

10. The Spy Who Loved Me

I am admittedly not a fan of Moore, but this is the closest he came to making a classic Bond.

11. Licence to Kill

The original pissed off Bond.

12. Die Another Day

I originally hated this one, but I’ve come to appreciate the total insanity of it.

13. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Lazenby is all right, and I dig how serious they went with the ending.

14. Tomorrow Never Dies

It has everything a great Bond movie should, but something doesn’t click; it does feature a perfectly hateable villain, though.

15. Dr. No

Yeah, it’s the original, but I’ve seen it twice and never want to see it again.

16. Moonraker

My expectations were in the gutter for this one, but I was surprised at how traditional this one was despite the space gimmick.

17. A View to a Kill

Moore is far too old at this point, but Walken is a lot of fun in this, especially when he comes unhinged at the end.

18. The World Is Not Enough

This one has its moments actionwise, and Brosnan was great in all of his appearances, but this one was just a bit boring.

19. Octopussy

This is one of the goofier ones as it has Bond literally dressed up as a clown at one point.

20. For Your Eyes Only

This is when Moore’s age started to get to me.

21. Quantum of Solace

I’ve actually come around on this one a bit, but I still find it such a missed opportunity that it lands near the bottom for me; if the action wasn’t so Bourne-inspired, maybe I would have liked it more.

22. Live and Let Die

Moore started off with two gimmicky entries; I like this one slightly more than the other one because I like New Orleans.

23. Diamonds Are Forever

Connery as Bond in Vegas should have been amazing, but it was a bit boring as the Blofeld stuff was wearing thin at this point.

24. The Man with the Golden Gun

They brought back the stupid sheriff from Live and Let Die; that alone puts this near the bottom for me.

25. Never Say Never Again

A remake of Thunderball, which is the only Bond movie I flat out hate; this one is only above the original because they replaced one of the insufferable underwater scenes with an ‘80s requisite nonsense video game scene.

26. Thunderball 

The underwater stuff is just so damn boring.

James Bond Ranked - George Lazenby

Okay, it’s obviously a joke to claim that this is a ranking of George Lazenby’s Bond films, but I have a theme I’m going with here, so the Lazenby and Dalton entries are going to be on the short side. Because of this, Lazenby’s sole effort is going to get more attention from me than any other Bond film as I work through my ranking of each Bond actor’s tenure. 

1.  On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

It’s easy to hate this one for one single moment: “This never happens to the other fellow.” That line, delivered directly to the camera near the beginning of the film, nearly ruined the entire movie for me. It took the rest of the very solid movie to make up for that 4th wall breaking nonsense. 

I can see why the filmmakers thought they could get away with it; this is the series, after all, that had already featured jet-packs, crotch lasers, volcano lairs, and piranhas. It’s not exactly Shakespeare. It annoys me because they didn’t follow through with it. After that line, they make a point to make it clear this is still the same James Bond, despite the actor change. Moneypenny calls him the “same old James,” and there’s a scene in his office (I didn’t even know Bond actually had an office; I thought he just dropped in from time to time to talk shit to M, annoy Q, and flirt with Moneypenny) in which he reminisces about his past adventures while cleaning out his desk. Make all the jokes you want, if you’re going to make it clear that this is actually a different James Bond. If he’s the same Bond, however, then keep your cheeky fucking jokes on the cutting room floor.

Perhaps this is an overreaction to a simple joke, but On Her Majesty’s Secret Service strives to be so serious that it makes the joke stick out as a strange oddity rather than a little bit of Bond fun. This is the film that has Bond get married only for his new wife to be killed minutes after the wedding. If this had been more like You Only Live Twice, that joke wouldn’t have felt so out of place. 

The serious nature of the film does make you (almost) forget the joke by the end. Lazenby’s Bond is much more driven than Connery. With Connery, it felt like he was always trying to have a good time and saving the world just got in his way. Here, it’s the opposite. 

Who knows what Lazenby would have been like in future movies, but since he called it quits with this one, I’ll always think of him as the serious Bond. Perhaps that’s for the best, because it’s doubtful the filmmakers would stick with the serious tone (even the super serious Craig run had the goofy Spectre). That would have forced Lazenby to try to be Connery, and that would have been a mistake. In fact, the moments in which Lazenby tries to be funny are the weakest moments. When he’s brooding over Tracy’s kidnapping, he’s at his best.

Time has been kind to Lazenby and this film overall, and I understand why. It’s one of the better Bond films both in tone and scope (the avalanche and assault on Blofeld’s compound are great, despite the terrible insert shots of the actors skiing in front of a screen). Lazenby had the thankless job of following Sean Connery. Today, we take for granted that the Bond role will always continue with a new actor. Sure, people still bitch about the new guy, but they at least accept that it was going to happen. WIth Lazenby, it seemed like a mistake at the time since Connery came back to the role in the next film. That wouldn’t happen now. People would know the role had changed hands, and that was that. 

But Connery did come back, and while the film and Lazenby are given plenty of credit today, it’s still an oddity in the series. Who knows what might have been? As it stands, I can at least claim this with certainty: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is George Lazenby’s best Bond film.

Random Thoughts / Favorite Quotes

The sped up fight scenes in these early movies just suck.

The reference to “the other fellow” and the look directly into the camera make me want to hate this movie.

It just makes no sense. He’s not playing a new 007. He’s playing James Bond. He is the “other fellow.” I get that they felt the need to address the fact that Sean Connery was now George Lazenby, but there are better, subtler ways of doing it. Just have Moneypenny or Q say something about him looking different or something. Anything but a 4th wall breaking wink to the camera.

And when he does see Moneypenny, she says, “Same old James!” What the fuck?

What the title sequence lacks in vocals it makes up for in shadow nipples.

Draco is a strange father. “Please, Mr. Bond, have sex with my daughter until she loves you!”

That’s quite the handy device Bond uses in the lawyer’s office: a portable safe cracker / copy machine. You wouldn’t think you’d need those two things at the same time all that often, but you’d be surprised.

How many mental patients is Bond going to fuck in this one?

Also, the insane horniness is usually fine, but since this one is half a love story, it’s a bummer.

“He had lots of guts!” I’m typically not a fan of these silly one-liners, but this one is fine with me since it’s so dark. Yeah, all of these little zingers are told over a dead body, but somehow making a joke after a dude is turned to mush by an industrial strength snow blower is more hardcore.

And there’s father of the year Draco with a powerful right cross to knock his daughter out cold.

It’s wild for a Bond movie to have a wedding at the end.

And to see all the spy folk at a wedding is so strange. M and Draco are talking to each other like they play on opposing baseball teams rather than opposing sides of the law. Crazy.

You know Moneypenny was happy when she found out about Tracy’s death.

Hats off to this film for having a darker ending for Bond than even No Time to Die, you know, which ends with him being dead.