Okay, it’s obviously a joke to claim that this is a ranking of George Lazenby’s Bond films, but I have a theme I’m going with here, so the Lazenby and Dalton entries are going to be on the short side. Because of this, Lazenby’s sole effort is going to get more attention from me than any other Bond film as I work through my ranking of each Bond actor’s tenure.
1. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
It’s easy to hate this one for one single moment: “This never happens to the other fellow.” That line, delivered directly to the camera near the beginning of the film, nearly ruined the entire movie for me. It took the rest of the very solid movie to make up for that 4th wall breaking nonsense.
I can see why the filmmakers thought they could get away with it; this is the series, after all, that had already featured jet-packs, crotch lasers, volcano lairs, and piranhas. It’s not exactly Shakespeare. It annoys me because they didn’t follow through with it. After that line, they make a point to make it clear this is still the same James Bond, despite the actor change. Moneypenny calls him the “same old James,” and there’s a scene in his office (I didn’t even know Bond actually had an office; I thought he just dropped in from time to time to talk shit to M, annoy Q, and flirt with Moneypenny) in which he reminisces about his past adventures while cleaning out his desk. Make all the jokes you want, if you’re going to make it clear that this is actually a different James Bond. If he’s the same Bond, however, then keep your cheeky fucking jokes on the cutting room floor.
Perhaps this is an overreaction to a simple joke, but On Her Majesty’s Secret Service strives to be so serious that it makes the joke stick out as a strange oddity rather than a little bit of Bond fun. This is the film that has Bond get married only for his new wife to be killed minutes after the wedding. If this had been more like You Only Live Twice, that joke wouldn’t have felt so out of place.
The serious nature of the film does make you (almost) forget the joke by the end. Lazenby’s Bond is much more driven than Connery. With Connery, it felt like he was always trying to have a good time and saving the world just got in his way. Here, it’s the opposite.
Who knows what Lazenby would have been like in future movies, but since he called it quits with this one, I’ll always think of him as the serious Bond. Perhaps that’s for the best, because it’s doubtful the filmmakers would stick with the serious tone (even the super serious Craig run had the goofy Spectre). That would have forced Lazenby to try to be Connery, and that would have been a mistake. In fact, the moments in which Lazenby tries to be funny are the weakest moments. When he’s brooding over Tracy’s kidnapping, he’s at his best.
Time has been kind to Lazenby and this film overall, and I understand why. It’s one of the better Bond films both in tone and scope (the avalanche and assault on Blofeld’s compound are great, despite the terrible insert shots of the actors skiing in front of a screen). Lazenby had the thankless job of following Sean Connery. Today, we take for granted that the Bond role will always continue with a new actor. Sure, people still bitch about the new guy, but they at least accept that it was going to happen. WIth Lazenby, it seemed like a mistake at the time since Connery came back to the role in the next film. That wouldn’t happen now. People would know the role had changed hands, and that was that.
But Connery did come back, and while the film and Lazenby are given plenty of credit today, it’s still an oddity in the series. Who knows what might have been? As it stands, I can at least claim this with certainty: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is George Lazenby’s best Bond film.
Random Thoughts / Favorite Quotes
The sped up fight scenes in these early movies just suck.
The reference to “the other fellow” and the look directly into the camera make me want to hate this movie.
It just makes no sense. He’s not playing a new 007. He’s playing James Bond. He is the “other fellow.” I get that they felt the need to address the fact that Sean Connery was now George Lazenby, but there are better, subtler ways of doing it. Just have Moneypenny or Q say something about him looking different or something. Anything but a 4th wall breaking wink to the camera.
And when he does see Moneypenny, she says, “Same old James!” What the fuck?
What the title sequence lacks in vocals it makes up for in shadow nipples.
Draco is a strange father. “Please, Mr. Bond, have sex with my daughter until she loves you!”
That’s quite the handy device Bond uses in the lawyer’s office: a portable safe cracker / copy machine. You wouldn’t think you’d need those two things at the same time all that often, but you’d be surprised.
How many mental patients is Bond going to fuck in this one?
Also, the insane horniness is usually fine, but since this one is half a love story, it’s a bummer.
“He had lots of guts!” I’m typically not a fan of these silly one-liners, but this one is fine with me since it’s so dark. Yeah, all of these little zingers are told over a dead body, but somehow making a joke after a dude is turned to mush by an industrial strength snow blower is more hardcore.
And there’s father of the year Draco with a powerful right cross to knock his daughter out cold.
It’s wild for a Bond movie to have a wedding at the end.
And to see all the spy folk at a wedding is so strange. M and Draco are talking to each other like they play on opposing baseball teams rather than opposing sides of the law. Crazy.
You know Moneypenny was happy when she found out about Tracy’s death.
Hats off to this film for having a darker ending for Bond than even No Time to Die, you know, which ends with him being dead.
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