Halloween and Halloween II - The Zombies

 

When Rob Zombie was handed the keys to the Halloween franchise, I was excited. I thought House of 1000 Corpses was a promising start, and I flat out loved The Devil’s Rejects (and I still feel the same about those movies). I just knew Zombie would bring something brutal and interesting to a franchise I wasn’t a big fan of (at the time). I was half right.

Zombie’s Halloween is brutal and ugly, but I never find it interesting. In the first film, Michael Myers’s backstory is completely fleshed out. Michael has a terrible home life thanks to an all-time shitty stepdad who gives the dickhead dad from Curse of Michael Myers a run for his money and an older sister who doesn’t seem to care about him. He’s bullied. He mutilates animals. With no one seeking real help, despite a mom who seems to truly care about him, he does what we all knew he was going to do and kills his sister, his stepdad, and his sister’s boyfriend (and he killed a bully earlier, for good measure).

With that bummer of a beginning out of the way, we can get to the Halloween-type stuff now, right? Nope. Now we get a lengthy sequence of Loomis trying to get through to Michael. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. Finally, there’s a time jump and adult Michael escapes, and the movie can really begin.

But we’re forty minutes in at that point, and I’m just exhausted. What follows is the fairly standard version of the first film, but much more brutal than we’ve ever seen. At the time, I thought this was just okay, but I would rather have seen an original film from Zombie. Watching it now, it’s one of my least favorite entries in the series because there’s no fun to be had, and it simply fleshes out shit I didn’t need or care to know about.

But what could Zombie do? Fleshing out Michael’s origin was the only way he could put his stamp on this story, so that’s not his fault. This just should not have been a remake. If they had gone the same route David Gordon Green went in 2018, then this would probably be a much more interesting and entertaining entry without all the backstory baggage. But I’m still glad this version exists. If you wanted a Halloween movie that went all in on the brutality, you couldn’t ask for a better movie. I just don’t want it, but for all you sick fucks out there: enjoy.

Zombie’s Halloween II, especially the director’s cut, is a whole new ballgame. Zombie has said in interviews since that they were going to make these movies no matter what, so he might as well be the one to make them, but the experience overall was a negative one for him due to constant studio interference. So for the second film, it seemed like he decided to say, “Fuck it,” and make the most batshit entry he could. Mission accomplished.

Once again, this is not an easy watch. Right off the bat, you get EMTs talking about having sex with dead bodies, who then slam into a cow in the middle of the road leading to Michael escaping and murdering them. Myers disappears into the countryside becoming a mythic creature following his ghost mom and a white horse. But his impact on the survivors never leaves. Laurie is a broken person, and this film more than any other in the series, attempts to show what trauma can do to a person. (It’s not that the other films don’t address it, but this film makes it a much more debilitating condition.)

This is all interesting, but it’s just not a fun watch. That’s not what Zombie is going for, though. I want a little bit of fun with these movies, so Zombie’s entries aren’t for me. But just like the first one, I’m glad this exists because it is different. In that way, this is much better than the first film because Zombie was able to tell a complete story of his own without having to stay within the bounds of the original storyline. Here, Michael can be a roided up Manson-looking motherfucker who rarely even wears the iconic mask and even talks at one point. I cannot get behind the talking part, though, especially since it’s just him yelling, “Die!” Isn’t Michael always implying “Die!” when he stabs people and shit? Anyway, this is a wholly unique take on Michael and Laurie.

In the end, I still wish Rob Zombie had kept making his own movies at this time rather than falling down the franchise rabbit hole. But Halloween is a more interesting series because of his involvement. These movies may not be for me, but at least they’re distinguishably different from the rest. You could show me scenes from the fourth, fifth, or sixth film and it would be a blind guess which one it came from. If I see a single shot from one of these, I will immediately recognize it as a Zombie film. In a series this long and rehashed, that’s an accomplishment.

Random Thoughts 

I'm a pretty vulgar person, but the amount of cussing in Zombie's films has just become annoying over the years. Nearly every character cusses like an elementary school kid who just discovered cuss words. As someone who uses profane language in articles and Letterboxd entries, this has caused me to reevaluate the amount of cussing I do. I'll still use it when I find it necessary and/or funny, but I have been deleting a lot of it when I proofread these days. Thank you, Zombie.

I did like Malcolm McDowell's dirtbag version of Loomis, mainly in the second film. He gets to go full asshole, and he seems to be enjoying himself. I'm glad someone is in these movies. 

I love that Zombie included a scene of Loomis buying a gun. It always cracked me up how trigger happy of a therapist Loomis was l, especially in the sequels. To see him buy the gun was a fun nod to that.

There's a lot of hate towards the casting of Sheri Moon Zombie (Rob's wife) in nearly every movie he makes. I don't hate her as a performer, but her characters are typically screeching, foul-mouthed annoyance machines. So it was nice to see her as a calm angel of death type character in the second movie.

Speaking of which, she may have been a loving mother to Michael, but she was painfully oblivious. Her response to the school finding a dead cat in Michael’s backpack: "Come on. Big deal. He found a dead cat." Yeah, people come across dead animals in the road and whatnot all the time, but we don't pick them up and keep them as toys! So it might be a "big deal."

"Youth in Revolt" / Mini-Reviews: "Big Fan" / "A Perfect Getaway" / "Halloween II" / "Up"

Youth in Revolt - Directed by Miguel Arteta, starring Michael Cera, Portia Doubleday, and Justin Long - Rated R


No one likes misbehavin' like the Evil Kurgan: "It's better to burn out than to fade away!"



Let me save you a little time with this one: if you don't like Michael Cera, Youth in Revolt is not for you. A number of people have grown tired of Cera's softspoken, lovesick characters and I can completely understand that. He has basically been playing the same character since he gained popularity on Arrested Development. That same character he plays over and over is quite hilarious in my opinion, though. If you hate that character, this film offers a different version of Cera that you might enjoy.

Cera still plays his usual character, but Youth in Revolt allows him to pull double duty and play the unlikely bad boy character. It all starts simply enough, sixteen-year-old Nick Twisp (Cera) spends a week or two in a trailer park where he meets the love of his wife, Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday). But Nick has to return home, leaving Sheeni behind. They come up with a plan, however. Sheeni will find Nick's dad a job in the area and Nick will misbehave enough to be sent to live with his dad so he can be with Sheeni. If you're familiar with Cera's usual characters, though, you know it is not in his nature to be bad. So he creates a mustached, constantly smoking alter ego a la Fight Club called Francois Dillinger.

Dillinger is by far the best part of this film. Just watching Michael Cera smoke a cigarette is kind of funny and when you add arson and some ultra snide backtalking it becomes absolutely hilarious. Cera shows some real range with this one and I found it to be his most impressive performance. He plays Nick by the numbers, but Francois is something entirely new for him. I'm just not sure if the new character is enough to get people on board with this film (and this past weekend's box office showing of $7 million proves this). The truth is I don't think the character is enough to change your mind about Cera. For one thing, Francois may be featured heavily in the previews, but he is not in the film as much as you would think.

Michael Cera isn't the only person in the film, though. Portia Doubleday does a good job as the love interest and the rest of the cast is rounded out by some very good actors including Steve Buscemi, Ray Liotta, Fred Willard, M. Emmet Walsh, Zach Galifianakis, and Justin Long. The only problem is that these actors are all in what could best be described as cameo roles. I wouldn't say that they are wasted, but it would have been nice to see a few more scenes with Buscemi. The supporting actor that stood out most to me, though, was Adhir Kalyan as Vijay, Nick's new friend. He made a perfect partner in crime with Cera.

The film also offers some quirky style as well that was kind of unnecessary, but still a bit amusing. During a couple of road trips (and during the credits), different styles of animation are used. It added a little something to the movie, I suppose, but I could have done without it.

Youth in Revolt isn't a very stylish film, but there is a definite tone and that tone is quite dark. The nihilistic characters left me with a feeling akin to Observe and Report. Even the good Cera character seems to be devoid of hope. He mopes around with a "woe is me" kind of attitude and, aside from a few passive aggressive comments, he is indifferent to the men his mom shacks up with. Sheeni is basically the same, as she lives as apart from her extremely religious parents as possible. It just seems like everyone is indifferent to everyone else. But that's the perfect environment for Francois to inhabit.

That's really all there is to say on this one. I can't stress enough that this film hinges completely on Michael Cera. I've found him funny in nearly everything he has done (he even has a couple of funny moments in last year's terrible Year One) and with this I am officially a Michael Cera fan. I just hope his future characters are more like Francois Dillinger and less like Nick Twisp.


Mini-Reviews

Big Fan - Written and directed by Robert Siegel, starring Patton Oswalt, Kevin Corrigan, and Michael Rapaport - Rated R

Big Fan is the darkly funny movie that might be the most aptly titled film of the year. Patton Oswalt is great as Paul, the New York Giants' biggest fan. The film is dark because Paul's life seems so awful: he works at a toll booth, still loves with his mom at age 36, watches the games at the stadium, but in the parking lot through a rigged up TV, and he takes a late night radio sports show so serious that he writes notes to prepare for each call in he makes. But he is seems happy, so what of it? That's enough summary for you; just know that it isn't all that depressing and it's really just a good, simple story with some laughs along the way. I can't stress Oswalt's performance enough, though. He was meant to play this part, it suits him so well. Kevin Corrigan is also good as his equally crazed best friend. Oh, and if you think you take any type of sporting event too seriously, just watch this film and you'll probably feel better about yourself.


A Perfect Getaway - Written and directed by David Twohy, starring Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, and Timothy Olyphant - Rated R

I just want to mention A Perfect Getaway because I haven't been hearing much about the film and it bombed at the box office. If you like a well written, amusing thriller, then do yourself a favor and at least rent this one. I don't want to go into plot details too much. I'll just say that a couple (Zahn and Jovovich) goes to Hawaii for their honeymoon and there is a killer couple on the loose. I found the story interesting and performances were pretty good as well. Olyphant sticks out a bit because he gets to overact and crazy it up a bit and that's when he's at his best. So check it out, you won't be sorry.


Halloween II - Written and directed by Rob Zombie, starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Sheri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Malcolm McDowell, and Tyler Mane - Rated R (Unrated cut on DVD)

This movie just spits venom all over the place. There is no joy in it, no camp, no likable characters, etc. It's all very brutal. That's not really a knock on the film, but I could have used a break from the constant cussing and gore in this film. I would have also liked to have a character to slightly care about. I could care less what happened to Laurie Strode in this film. She was hateful to everyone around, she cusses to the point of stupidity, and she is constantly screaming. I don't just mean when Michael Myers is chasing her, either. She freaks out throughout the entire film. Which is understandable since she's been through so much, but I don't want to see it. And you know what, I don't really care for Michael Myers. I'll take my slasher flicks with a hockey mask, thank you. Oh, and someone should have told Rob Zombie, "Make sure Michael wears his mask the whole movie and he shouldn't have dialogue, not even a single grunted word." Zombie needs to take his "vision" (as the previews called it) to an original story rather than trying to force one of his stories into a Halloween packaging. I would much rather see something along the lines of The Devil's Rejects than this miserable crap. If this film had been made by a no-name, I would consider it mediocre, but Rob Zombie is wasting his time with this, so I judge this a bit harshly.


Up - Written and directed by Pete Docter and Bob Petersen, voiced by Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, and Jordan Nagai - Rated PG

I'm writing a short review on this one because people who know me know that I'm eating crow by giving this a good review. Every time a Pixar movie comes out and people put it in their top ten or just call it the best movie of the year I always roll my eyes and proclaim, "It's a movie meant for children!" Well, I'm not putting this in my top ten (coming soon, by the way), but it's definitely in my honorable mention. The movie, about an old widower (Asner) who uses balloons to take his house on an adventure, is absolutely beautiful (just check out the scene when the house first takes flight in Blu-ray) and it's surprisingly dramatic. The first ten minutes are downright sad. This one just surprised me a bit is all. It's not the best movie of the year, but it doesn't bother me so much anymore that some people claim that it is.