Deadpool & Wolverine - Marvel Jesus

Deadpool & Wolverine is not a good movie; at least, not in the traditional sense. It’s impossible to judge this film on its own merits when there are so many past (20th Century Fox) and future (the Marvel Cinematic Universe) elements at play. It’s such a strange mashup bridging the gap between two studios that the only way it could possibly work is if it became almost a parody of a comic book movie. In that regard, it must be treated as a typical comedy: it will work for you if you find it funny, and it will be a miserable exercise in fan service if you don’t.

On paper, there are a lot of elements that would normally annoy me about this movie. I like Reynolds and Jackman, and I think they’re both perfectly cast, but I didn’t really care about what happened to them in this. And just like seemingly every other MCU film, the bland villain trying to destroy the entire universe or timeline or whatever was not compelling to me at all. How am I supposed to still care about an end-of-the-world threat at this point? (The only fic for this is to start making smaller movies with more personal stakes for the characters, but that seems to be an impossibility for the MCU.) And the timeline stuff is getting too messy, especially when you toss in the already sloppy X-Men continuity (they never did give a legitimate reason for Charles to be alive in Days of Future Past or the mid-credits scene in The Wolverine). And is Logan a movie in the Deadpool world or real life? It’s treated as both, but neither scenario makes sense…never mind. This is a movie that demands your brain to be put into sleep mode and just go with it, and that’s what I did.

Based on all this dorky complaining above, it would seem like I hated Deadpool & Wolverine, but I actually loved it. I’m so tired of the MCU at this point, I enjoyed this movie as a spoof of it. It’s like the Hot Shots! of the franchise, and that is high praise from me. I’ll avoid spoilers for now, but every cheap element of humor, fan service, and cameo worked for me. Aside from Multiverse of Madness (which I was mainly interested in because of Sam Raimi), this is the first MCU film I’ve actually wanted to watch since Endgame. Every other movie felt like homework that I had to keep up with. This is just fucking fun.

A lot of my enjoyment of this is because of my immature sense of humor. This movie made me feel like a thirteen-year-old fuckhead, and I mean that in the best way possible. There may come a time when Ryan Reynolds making dick jokes or REDACTED talking about “husk-fucked charred remains” won’t be funny to me anymore, but I pray that day never comes. (Ha ha, “comes.”) It’s more than just having the right sense of humor for this; it’s also about simply liking the actors.   

Reynolds and Jackman can play these parts in their sleep at this point, so it’s nice to see them seemingly enjoying themselves in this one. I haven’t grown tired of Reynolds’s schtick yet, so he still works for me. As for Jackman, this was the first time he got to dive into a funnier R-rated version of Logan. Yes, he’s had some comedic moments through the years (the claw finger he gives Cyclops in the first movie is a classic, and I liked the “Go fuck yourself” cameo in First Class), but they’ve only been small moments in the midst of a brooding performance. There’s a little brooding here, but there’s a lot more banter, and it’s great to watch him talk shit to Deadpool for two hours.

The only other element I want to cover before spoilers is the action. I’ve been largely disappointed in this regard for a while with the MCU, but I mostly enjoyed it this time, mainly because of the indestructible main characters and the R-rating. There’s no John Wick-worthy moments or anything, but it is nice to see some gnarly shit in these movies when most of the action lately seems to be like kids playing superheroes rather than actual superhumans trying to kill each other. 

Usually, I hate comparing a movie to a bunch of other movies as a way of critiquing it, but Deadpool & Wolverine is an unusual movie. Because of this, you’ll likely come across the highest praise and the lowest condemnation of this one. But I truly believe it’s all about your personal sense of humor and your relationship with the MCU. For me, those elements were right in step with the movie, making it one of my favorite cinematic experiences of the year so far.

Now for the SPOILERS

Okay, I mainly loved this movie because of the cameos. I’m a basic bitch, and bringing in Chris Evans as Johnny Storm and Channing Tatum as Gambit was enough to win me over. Snipes and Garner were just fun extras for me. Evans in full foul-mouth New Yorker mode cracked me up, especially in the end credits scene. And Tatum’s cajun accent was hilarious. There’s no way that’s what he was planning on doing before his Gambit project got killed, but I would gladly watch a whole movie with him doing that swamp voice.

They didn’t have them do much, but it was great to see Tyler Mane and Ray Park back as Sabretooth and Toad, respectively. Though I was hoping for a Liev Schreiber joke. 

Speaking of jokes I was hoping for, I was a little disappointed that T.J. Miller’s absence wasn’t mentioned, but he talked shit about Reynolds on a podcast or two, so maybe that’s what made it off limits. 

All of those Wolverine variants were great, and of course I loved the yellow suit. It was weird and amazing to see him with the cowl on. It’s funny to think about how far these movies, and that character specifically, have come over the years. In the first X-Men film, Logan talks shit about their black leather costumes, and Cyclops makes a joke about Logan preferring “yellow spandex.” And at the time, it was the right move to make. If they came out the gate with classic costumes, it would be hard to take seriously. The silver lining to this incomprehensible multiverse/branching timeline stuff is that you can just have comics-specific looking characters and not have to justify why they would be dressed like that. 

This movie in general had the kind of fun I wanted them to have with the alternate timeline versions. Get crazy with it. Bring back Aaron Stanford as Pyro, why not? Jason Flemyng as Azazel with no lines? Sure. Throw Kelly Hu back in the mix, too. You get it.

The downside to all of this fan service is that this movie kind of fails at being a sequel to its own second part. Multiple characters (Cable, Domino, Weasel, Firefist) are simply gone (I think he says something about Cable being dead, but I didn’t catch anything about the rest). And the ones that do return, aside from Peter, get absolutely nothing to do aside from standing around a table like they’re filming an Olive Garden commercial. As I stated earlier, I don’t really care that much about any character, but it did feel like they got short changed because they’re part of the old, dying storyline. And that makes sense, but not when the entire plot is about Wade trying to save them. Anyway, it wasn’t like I was wondering where Yukio was while Gambit was blowing heads up with his charged cards, but it did occur to me once the fan service high wore off a bit.

This is why I usually like to wait way too long to write about movies. I have no clue how this is going to hold up. I might be writing about it again in a couple years claiming it’s an abomination that ruined everything before and after it. But I hope not.

"Green Lantern"

Green Lantern - Directed by Martin Campbell, written by Greg Berlanti & Michael Green & Marc Guggenheim and Michael Goldenberg, starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, and Tim Robbins - Rated PG-13

Goofy, a little weird, and even crappy at times, but still decently entertaining.

The comic book movie train speeds on with by far the strangest comic creation to hit the screen this summer with Green Lantern. Weird isn’t always good, but the odd elements of Green Lantern make the film stand out a bit, even if the film does get too goofy at times because of it. Overall, despite its flaws, Green Lantern still ends up being an entertaining movie.

Green Lantern is about Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a reckless pilot who is chosen by an alien ring to become earth’s protector. Yes, this is a superhero that gets his power from a magical ring from outer space. That isn’t where the weirdness ends. The film takes Hal from earth to the origin of the ring, the planet Oa. At Oa, Hal is the lone human among all of the other protectors, or lanterns. Hal finds out that there is a battle being waged between will and fear and he must conquer his own fears if he is to save the planet.

All of that should sound a bit out there, but it’s supposed to be. Green Lantern is a slightly self-aware movie. The filmmakers knew that to get away with such outlandish settings there must be a bit of humor to the film and that ends up being the saving grace for Green Lantern. Reynolds, primarily a comedic actor, is really a perfect choice for the arrogant but likable Hal Jordan. Plus, he delivers the Green Lantern oath very well.

If Reynolds isn’t enough for you (or if he annoys you, as plenty of people have complained), then the planet of Oa and its inhabitants might make up for it. Oa isn’t as fully realized as it could’ve been and it doesn’t seem like a real planet with a functioning population, but it is still a very interesting place. The best parts of the film take place on Oa and you may find yourself wishing the majority of the film had been set there. Hal gets introduced to what being a lantern is all about on Oa and, as the only human, the odds are against him. His training scenes are short but entertaining and the supporting cast that lives in Oa is pretty great. Mark Strong stands out as the leader of the lanterns though the film would’ve benefited from more scenes with him. Geoffrey Rush and Michael Clarke Duncan put in some amusing voice work as well.

Hal spends the majority of his time on earth and while the film doesn’t look as interesting in this familiar setting, there are some interesting characters there. Tim Robbins, Angela Bassett, and Blake Lively populate the rest of the cast ably, but it is Peter Sarsgaard who makes the film fun. It was hard to keep count of how many times Sarsgaard shrieked maniacally throughout the film, but each time it was amusing. He added a strange element to his performance that made him quite the interesting foil to Reynolds.

Green Lantern is a film that gets plenty of things right and manages to breathe a little life into the whole superhero origin story. For one thing, the film is refreshing because the origin of the character consists of a man putting on a ring that instantly makes him the hero. It also helps that the film is willing to play with the goofiness of a superhero’s outfit with a character pointing out that an eye mask doesn’t really disguise a person. This movie is not high art; it’s not even sophisticated by comic book movie standards. But it is a bit of harmless fun.

That said, there are still a few problems with the movie. First off, the simplistic plot elements are childish to say the least. The power of the ring is fueled by will? The opposing evil force of the universe is simply fear? That’s just weak and it leads to silly dialogue about conquering fears that are never clearly defined. It also makes the film sound too much like a Star Wars film with all the “don’t give in to your fear” lines. In fact, it’s all childish enough that it makes this movie more of a film for kids than adults, which is unexpected since comic book movies these days tend to be as gritty and harsh as possible. Perhaps this isn’t even a negative for some viewers, but if you’re expecting something with the tone of The Dark Knight, you won’t find it here.

Secondly, the effects of the film work at times (the CG suit was fine, the 3D was serviceable, and there are some great images) but are absolutely atrocious at others. Seriously, some of the effects looked like they were from a film from the late 90s (most notably in a scene involving a helicopter). The action in general was entertaining but it’s all a bit of a letdown when you consider the fact that the ring can make anything. When imagination is the limit there should be something more interesting than guns being formed by the ring.

Finally, the stakes just weren’t high for this film. There never seemed to be a true sense of danger to the film and some of the major battles were uninspired and just too easy. All of these things might be major problems for some viewers, but if you can just sit back and enjoy a slightly goofy, at times childish film, then you’ll be entertained by Green Lantern.