Deadpool & Wolverine - Marvel Jesus

Deadpool & Wolverine is not a good movie; at least, not in the traditional sense. It’s impossible to judge this film on its own merits when there are so many past (20th Century Fox) and future (the Marvel Cinematic Universe) elements at play. It’s such a strange mashup bridging the gap between two studios that the only way it could possibly work is if it became almost a parody of a comic book movie. In that regard, it must be treated as a typical comedy: it will work for you if you find it funny, and it will be a miserable exercise in fan service if you don’t.

On paper, there are a lot of elements that would normally annoy me about this movie. I like Reynolds and Jackman, and I think they’re both perfectly cast, but I didn’t really care about what happened to them in this. And just like seemingly every other MCU film, the bland villain trying to destroy the entire universe or timeline or whatever was not compelling to me at all. How am I supposed to still care about an end-of-the-world threat at this point? (The only fic for this is to start making smaller movies with more personal stakes for the characters, but that seems to be an impossibility for the MCU.) And the timeline stuff is getting too messy, especially when you toss in the already sloppy X-Men continuity (they never did give a legitimate reason for Charles to be alive in Days of Future Past or the mid-credits scene in The Wolverine). And is Logan a movie in the Deadpool world or real life? It’s treated as both, but neither scenario makes sense…never mind. This is a movie that demands your brain to be put into sleep mode and just go with it, and that’s what I did.

Based on all this dorky complaining above, it would seem like I hated Deadpool & Wolverine, but I actually loved it. I’m so tired of the MCU at this point, I enjoyed this movie as a spoof of it. It’s like the Hot Shots! of the franchise, and that is high praise from me. I’ll avoid spoilers for now, but every cheap element of humor, fan service, and cameo worked for me. Aside from Multiverse of Madness (which I was mainly interested in because of Sam Raimi), this is the first MCU film I’ve actually wanted to watch since Endgame. Every other movie felt like homework that I had to keep up with. This is just fucking fun.

A lot of my enjoyment of this is because of my immature sense of humor. This movie made me feel like a thirteen-year-old fuckhead, and I mean that in the best way possible. There may come a time when Ryan Reynolds making dick jokes or REDACTED talking about “husk-fucked charred remains” won’t be funny to me anymore, but I pray that day never comes. (Ha ha, “comes.”) It’s more than just having the right sense of humor for this; it’s also about simply liking the actors.   

Reynolds and Jackman can play these parts in their sleep at this point, so it’s nice to see them seemingly enjoying themselves in this one. I haven’t grown tired of Reynolds’s schtick yet, so he still works for me. As for Jackman, this was the first time he got to dive into a funnier R-rated version of Logan. Yes, he’s had some comedic moments through the years (the claw finger he gives Cyclops in the first movie is a classic, and I liked the “Go fuck yourself” cameo in First Class), but they’ve only been small moments in the midst of a brooding performance. There’s a little brooding here, but there’s a lot more banter, and it’s great to watch him talk shit to Deadpool for two hours.

The only other element I want to cover before spoilers is the action. I’ve been largely disappointed in this regard for a while with the MCU, but I mostly enjoyed it this time, mainly because of the indestructible main characters and the R-rating. There’s no John Wick-worthy moments or anything, but it is nice to see some gnarly shit in these movies when most of the action lately seems to be like kids playing superheroes rather than actual superhumans trying to kill each other. 

Usually, I hate comparing a movie to a bunch of other movies as a way of critiquing it, but Deadpool & Wolverine is an unusual movie. Because of this, you’ll likely come across the highest praise and the lowest condemnation of this one. But I truly believe it’s all about your personal sense of humor and your relationship with the MCU. For me, those elements were right in step with the movie, making it one of my favorite cinematic experiences of the year so far.

Now for the SPOILERS

Okay, I mainly loved this movie because of the cameos. I’m a basic bitch, and bringing in Chris Evans as Johnny Storm and Channing Tatum as Gambit was enough to win me over. Snipes and Garner were just fun extras for me. Evans in full foul-mouth New Yorker mode cracked me up, especially in the end credits scene. And Tatum’s cajun accent was hilarious. There’s no way that’s what he was planning on doing before his Gambit project got killed, but I would gladly watch a whole movie with him doing that swamp voice.

They didn’t have them do much, but it was great to see Tyler Mane and Ray Park back as Sabretooth and Toad, respectively. Though I was hoping for a Liev Schreiber joke. 

Speaking of jokes I was hoping for, I was a little disappointed that T.J. Miller’s absence wasn’t mentioned, but he talked shit about Reynolds on a podcast or two, so maybe that’s what made it off limits. 

All of those Wolverine variants were great, and of course I loved the yellow suit. It was weird and amazing to see him with the cowl on. It’s funny to think about how far these movies, and that character specifically, have come over the years. In the first X-Men film, Logan talks shit about their black leather costumes, and Cyclops makes a joke about Logan preferring “yellow spandex.” And at the time, it was the right move to make. If they came out the gate with classic costumes, it would be hard to take seriously. The silver lining to this incomprehensible multiverse/branching timeline stuff is that you can just have comics-specific looking characters and not have to justify why they would be dressed like that. 

This movie in general had the kind of fun I wanted them to have with the alternate timeline versions. Get crazy with it. Bring back Aaron Stanford as Pyro, why not? Jason Flemyng as Azazel with no lines? Sure. Throw Kelly Hu back in the mix, too. You get it.

The downside to all of this fan service is that this movie kind of fails at being a sequel to its own second part. Multiple characters (Cable, Domino, Weasel, Firefist) are simply gone (I think he says something about Cable being dead, but I didn’t catch anything about the rest). And the ones that do return, aside from Peter, get absolutely nothing to do aside from standing around a table like they’re filming an Olive Garden commercial. As I stated earlier, I don’t really care that much about any character, but it did feel like they got short changed because they’re part of the old, dying storyline. And that makes sense, but not when the entire plot is about Wade trying to save them. Anyway, it wasn’t like I was wondering where Yukio was while Gambit was blowing heads up with his charged cards, but it did occur to me once the fan service high wore off a bit.

This is why I usually like to wait way too long to write about movies. I have no clue how this is going to hold up. I might be writing about it again in a couple years claiming it’s an abomination that ruined everything before and after it. But I hope not.

Zack Snyder: The Ridley Scott of Comic Book Movies

If you’re even slightly dorky, then you know the Snyder Cut of Justice League (officially titled Zack Snyder’s Justice League, but I’m going to keep referring to it as the Snyder Cut) is finally here. Of course I had to check it out, and it inspired me to write a bit about Snyder’s career regarding director’s cuts and my thoughts on the film and DC in general.

This is not a serious comparison between Ridley Scott and Zack Snyder aside from their famous, and better, director’s cuts. They both make epic films, but their styles are certainly different. They definitely both prefer to be left alone by the studio. Ridley Scott, however, has a more precise idea of what he wants out of a story when he gets to release a director’s cut (see Kingdom of Heaven and how his cut of that film completely redeemed and repaired the weak plot of the theatrical cut). Whereas Snyder has a kitchen sink approach (see Watchmen and one of his cuts of that film that includes an entire animated short film interspersed within an already three hour long movie). I only compare Snyder to Scott because of their unfortunate relationship with theatrical cuts of their films. Before I get into all the director’s cuts, I want to acknowledge the film that brought all this to mind in the first place.

Reaction to Zack Snyder’s Justice League

(SPOILERS ahead, especially near the end.)

First off, I did not realize that so much of the theatrical cut was Whedon’s doing (at the behest of the studio, I’m sure). I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the #ReleaseTheSnyderCut stuff aside from being aware of its existence. Even when the film was announced, I still didn’t look up much about it. I just thought, “Cool. I’ll check that out.” It was only when I found out it was four hours long that I realized this was going to be a much different movie.

That got me excited for a couple reasons. First, I tend to prefer Snyder’s extended, director’s, ultimate, etc. cuts. So I figured I would like this version more. Second, I realized that Joss Whedon changed a lot more than I first thought, and, in fact, they probably should have taken Snyder’s name off the 2017 release. So this isn’t exactly a director’s cut for Snyder; it’s the first time we’re seeing his version of Justice League at all.

Of course, this means that if you were not digging what Snyder had been doing with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman (Ultimate Edition, of course), then you’re not likely going to enjoy this, either. I’m down with what Snyder was doing with DC, but I know he’s a polarizing director. I’ve read some negative stuff about the movie, and I get it, but his style for the DCEU works for me, plain and simple. That said, if you were confused by the plot of the theatrical cut and wondered what Steppenwolf’s motivation was or what the fuck Mother Boxes were, then you’ll get more answers here. But, again, this is still a Zack Snyder movie.

With all that out of the way, I kind of fucking loved this movie. I’m a sucker for a director getting free rein to do whatever he/she wants, and the Snyder Cut is the ultimate example of this. Warner Brothers said, “Fuck it, man, just do whatever; here’s some more money to even add extra shit.” Because of this, Snyder is able to spend so much more time with the characters that were short-changed in the theatrical cut.

Cyborg is the best example of this. I remember first watching Justice League and feeling like Cyborg was just there because he had to be. Here, he’s arguably the main character, and I completely understand why he’s integral to the League and the film in general this time around. 

The extra runtime allows for so many things to be improved and/or cleared up. Steppenwolf (who both looks and sounds more imposing now) is a much better villain this time around and his whole plan with the Mother Boxes makes much more sense. I didn’t know what the fuck a Mother Box was when I first watched Justice League, and I still didn’t at the end other than they were powerful. Here, they’re explained more clearly. And it helps that Steppenwolf (a villain I had never heard of before the 2017 film [I’m a dork, but my knowledge of the DC universe ends with the main heroes and villains]) has an arc in this film beyond just being evil because the story needs him to be evil. He’s trying to redeem himself with Darkseid, a much more imposing big bad. 

Speaking of Darkseid, he’s in this movie whereas he’s not even mentioned in the original film. My main issue with the theatrical cut was that Steppenwolf was just there almost randomly, and he must be stopped. I can actually accept that, but I prefer this more fleshed out version. Most of it is still hardcore dorky nonsense dialogue about Boxes and parademons and anti-life equations, etc. But I’ll take that over nothing any day.

Justice League was always going to be a story that needed more than two hours to adequately explain things and establish the new characters. Even in the original cut, I liked all the characters and the actors portraying them. I liked the action. I was just left underwhelmed. I wanted so much more, and that’s what the Snyder Cut is. This is a cohesive and complete version of Justice League. It is not perfect, though.

The typical Zack Snyder complaints apply here. There’s too much slow motion (Lois getting coffee in slow motion is rightfully catching a lot of shit with many reactions online), the music is a bit much at times (using the same music every single time Wonder Woman shows up, the Icelandic song, etc.). But there are also some unique issues I have with the film because of its unorthodox path to the screen. Mainly, all the Aquaman continuity issues are distracting. Since Aquaman is out now, it is weird to see how some things are handled here: the characters can only talk in bubbles underwater, Vulko looks very different, and Mera has a British accent. If I had seen these things first (to be fair, the bubble talk was in the 2017 film, and they just dropped it for Aquaman), then when I watched Aquaman, I would have been taken out of it. Instead, I’ve already seen Aquaman, so now I’m wondering why things are different in Justice League. Again, a unique issue, but an issue nonetheless. 

The biggest issue is the running time. Four hours is too long, but I love Snyder getting to add damn near whatever he wanted to this. This film is a perfect example of why it’s good and bad that studios don’t typically give a director complete control. Sure, we’re getting an overlong version of the director’s vision (that dorks like me will love), but it’s also a four hour long film filled with references that a general audience won’t notice or care about, especially since many won’t even start watching a four hour movie in the first place. If you take out some of the slow motion and music sequences, then this film could easily be trimmed down to three and a half hours. That’s still long as fuck, but a half hour less is a big deal when you’re trimming down a four hour movie.

Overall, the Snyder Cut left me torn. On the one hand, I now love a movie that I was previously completely indifferent towards. This is the brutal, epic film I wanted. But it bums me out that this is most likely the end of Snyder’s DC work. This cut was already incredibly unlikely to ever be released, so all the set up for future films that will never happen is a bit infuriating, especially since my favorite aspect of Snyder’s DC films is the Knightmare future, which was apparently supposed to really happen for an entire movie. If that film could somehow be made, I could see it becoming my favorite comic book movie of all time. Instead, I just get that extra tease that Snyder added to the end of this film. I love it, but I kind of wish I had never seen it, so I wouldn’t know what I was missing. But if the dorks of the internet can pressure a studio to make the Snyder Cut happen, maybe it can happen again, and we can get Snyder’s full trilogy. 

At the very least, I have Snyder’s complete vision for the first Justice League film to revisit, and that’s pretty amazing. I’ll gladly spend four hours with this film any time I get bummed out about what might have been with the DC movies.

Snyder Makes Big Screen Movies that Require Small Screen Director’s Cuts

I tend to really enjoy Zack Snyder’s movies and I usually watch them in the theater, even though I know a different, better version of the film will one day be released. Snyder makes more director’s cuts than Ridley Scott, which sucks because his films are much more enjoyable on the biggest screen possible. So I wanted to look through Snyder’s director’s cut history leading up to his most high profile director’s cut.

In an interview, Snyder acknowledges (mistakenly) that the only two films he’s made that don’t have director’s cuts are Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole and Man of Steel (he also mentions a cut of Sucker Punch that exists but has never been released, which I would love to know more about). He didn’t mention 300, and I can’t find any evidence of a director’s cut for that film, so I’m chalking that up to him forgetting about it. So that means Dawn of the Dead, Watchmen, Sucker Punch, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and Justice League all needed director’s cuts. And looking back at all of them, the director's cut are all either essential or at least slight improvements upon their theatrical counterparts.

• Dawn of the Dead isn’t all that different. There are more character beats for Michael Kelly and more gore (to keep the R rating). More Michael Kelly and more gore are both great, so I dig the director’s cut, but this is the rare example that I don’t mind which cut I watch.

• The theatrical cut of Watchmen would’ve been the director’s cut, but Snyder claims he had to keep the runtime down because IMAX reels can only hold so much film. I’m sure the studio was happy with a shorter runtime, too. Watchmen is important for Snyder because it’s a good example of how devoted he is to the source material. He basically shot everything that was in the comic (aside from some changes made, the biggest being the change to the ending). The director’s cut simply includes all the stuff that had to go. It’s a better movie, but it’s not night and day different from the theatrical cut. Then there’s the ultimate cut, which also includes the animated Tale of the Black Freighter. That cut was basically made for completionists, and Snyder has said that the director’s cut is his preferred version. I’ve watched the Ultimate Cut a few times, but I’m with Snyder, the director’s cut is the best. The animated stuff just takes me out of the movie in the ultimate cut. 

• Sucker Punch has an extended cut, but the director’s cut has yet to be released, due to some rights stuff. Until then, the extended cut will have to do, and it is certainly closer to his intended vision than the theatrical cut is, if for no other reason than it’s rated R compared to the PG-13 rating of the theatrical cut. More importantly, the final scene with the High Roller solidifies the overall theme of the film regarding empowerment and freedom, even if it’s only within your mind.

• Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is the film that most benefits from its ultimate cut.  I only think of that film as the ultimate cut, and from what I’ve come across from folks on the internet, they view the ultimate cut  as a much better movie, for many of the same reasons that a lot of fans like the Snyder Cut. At three hours, Snyder is able to flesh out the story and some motivations a bit more. The buildup to both Batman hating Superman and Superman hating Batman is much more clear and satisfying this time around rather than just having them fight because the title says so. And it’s rated R, which is something I actually really dig with these movies.I still have issues with it: Lex’s plan is still confusing as fuck, and the Martha reveal is silly, but overall I dug the movie, mainly because I liked Ben Affleck’s brutal Batman, and I fucking loved the Knightmare sequence. Seriously, that sequence might be my favorite Batman scene ever. And I like seeing Batman fight Superman. Simple as that. 

So Snyder was already on the Ridley Scott path when he stated Justice League. If Snyder had been able to finish the film originally, I think we would have gotten a typical Snyder situation. There would’ve been a serviceable PG-13 version of the film that got close to three hour territory. Then there would be some “cut” released on home video that was rated R and closer to four hours (some stuff wouldn’t make it because Snyder wouldn’t be given the total freedom he got in this situation). The end result would be disappointment at the box office and with critics while dudes like me would tell people to give the director’s cut a chance. Now, everyone is focusing on the director’s cut in a way that word of mouth could never achieve. In a weird way, it’s the best thing that could’ve happened for people appreciating Snyder’s vision. But it appears to be too late, as future versions of these characters are either changing or ignoring what happened in the Snyder Cut of Justice League. (And the Snyder Cut is not considered canon, though why Warner Brothers is even pretending canon matters at this point is beyond me.)

If we get the director’s cut eventually, then I should be happy, but with the Snyder Cut, two issues bum me out. First, there’s the aforementioned abandonment of Snyder’s future Justice League films. Second, and most importantly, big films like Justice League benefit from a viewing on the big screen. I hate that I have to watch the inferior film in theaters and wait to watch the better version at home on TV. And this has nothing to do with the pandemic. Even without the pandemic, this would have been a home video release. It would be awesome if they released this in IMAX (especially because the aspect ratio is meant for it) in the future, but that would be a long shot.

Zack Snyder makes movies meant to be seen on the biggest screen possible, and studio interference and reluctance has made the small screen the home of his best work.

Oh, well, there’s always the black and white cut to look forward to...

DCEU vs. MCU

I’ve aged out of taking part in pop culture rivalries. I don’t see a point in hating Marvel and loving DC or having to pick between Star Wars and Star Trek. I’m just a normal dork who likes most dorky shit out there. So this isn’t about me picking one cinematic universe over the other; it’s about the differences between the two and why I like what Snyder was doing with the DCEU.

After watching literally every DC and Marvel movie over the past twenty years, I think the biggest difference between the two is that Marvel developed a plan. There were very few missteps and changes within the MCU during this process. Sure, some films were more popular than others, but nothing derailed their overall plan. 

Because of the Nolan Dark Knight films, Warner Brothers seemed content with keeping their DC properties relatively separate. It was like they were waiting to see just how profitable the MCU could be before they inevitably followed suit. 

By enlisting Zack Snyder to build their cinematic universe, Warner Brothers was sending a message that their films would be darker and more adult than the more family-friendly Marvel films. But when the critics destroyed BvS, they got nervous (despite that film making nearly a billion dollars worldwide). For some reason, it didn’t occur to them that the polarizing Snyder was going to take their characters down a path that many critics and fans didn’t like. It would still be profitable, but it would never be as popular as Marvel. 

This is why I love Snyder’s films and a lot of the DC stuff lately (I was a big fan of Aquaman and Wonder Woman, and Birds of Prey was interesting) despite some missteps (I thought Suicide Squad and Wonder Woman 1984 were pretty weak). These movies are geared more towards adults, and they are not as light-hearted as most of the Marvel stuff. 

I get if people think Snyder’s movies go too far with the characters and are too convoluted, but at least they’re different. They are already way too many similarities among the characters between the two properties; it’s nice to have clearly different movies. If that means Marvel’s movies are consistent and DC’s vary wildly from film to film, then so be it. 

The main reason I love the DC films is the more mature nature, especially in Snyder’s films. The guy made two R-rated versions of movies with Superman and Batman in them! That’s insane, and I love it. I can see why others would find an R-rated Superman movie to be unnecessary and even against his character. But I love seeing dark and violent shit in these movies if for no other reason than Marvel movies tend to feel too safe at times when it comes to the violence because they know kids are watching. Once again, Warner Brothers should have known this was going to be polarizing. At first, they seemed to be onboard with what Snyder was doing, but the negative reviews of BvS scared them, and when tragedy gave them a chance to change the direction of the universe, they took it and literally brought in a Marvel guy, Joss Whedon, to make Justice League more like a Marvel movie. And it failed miserably.

By trying to change the tone of the series right in the middle of setting it up, they lost their fanbase. Almost all of the plans for future movies fell apart, and subsequent movies seemed to be allowed to pick and choose what they wanted to keep as canon from Snyder’s films. That’s not to say all the movies after Justice League are bad. I loved Aquaman, but that film felt oddly apart from Justice League. If Warner Brothers wanted to copy Marvel, then they should have paid attention to Marvel’s commitment to an overall plan, not to the humorous tone of their films.

I like that Snyder tried to bring some darkness to the world of the big comic book movies. Let Marvel have the bright, fun movies. When I want the dark, brooding shit, I’ll put in a DC movie. That’s what Warner Brothers failed to realize. Snyder was never going to be able to give them something as beloved as the MCU. He was going to make something divisive because it would be different. Snyder’s films aren’t perfect, but if Warner Brothers would have stuck with him* and let him plan out the DCEU as he saw fit, then maybe they would have gained in popularity. Instead, now it seems like every DC movie is set in a completely different universe, and people are most excited about a new cut of a 2017 movie.

*I realize that Snyder walked away from Justice League because of a family tragedy, so Warner Brothers can’t be completely blamed here. That said, they could have simply delayed the film until Snyder could return. Or they could have hired a journeyman director to simply complete what Snyder had already begun. Instead, they hired Whedon and handed him a list of shit they wanted that included making the film funnier (AKA more like a Marvel movie) and shorter. I get why they went that route, but it sucks that Snyder’s DCEU had to be destroyed for them to learn from their mistake. 

The apparent success of the Snyder Cut (the comic book-centric websites and YouTube channels are all in for it, and it crashed some HBO servers on the first day of release) only makes things even more uncertain for the DCEU. Officially, the Snyder Cut is NOT considered canon. We’re just supposed to watch it (and all the setups it contains for future movies) and be happy for its existence. That’s a bit ridiculous. I’m glad we have the Snyder Cut, but now when I watch whatever they try to do with the Justice League, I’m just going to (most likely unfavorably) compare it to Snyder’s original plans. And I won’t be alone. 

In attempting to satisfy a loud, but potentially small, portion of the fanbase, they’ve only created more division. Now it won’t be DC vs. MCU fans. It will be Snyder fans vs. Warner Brothers fans. I go to the DCEU to get a break from Marvel and watch something different. This mess they’ve created now is not what I had in mind.

Why  Do I Own This?

I don’t. I can’t. There is no physical release of this film at the moment. Depending on the special features, I might buy it if it ever gets released. Until then, I plan on subscribing to HBO Max for the foreseeable future, so I’ll have this film available to see whenever I want for a while.

Random Thoughts

I’m not doing the thing where I make notes throughout the entire movie for this one because that would just be too exhausting. This is mainly because of how I normally do it: I watch the movie and as thoughts occur to me, I pause the movie to type them up. This is fucking four hours long. I’m not watching it again and pausing it every few minutes to take notes. I love this movie, but I’m not that dorky. So these will just be more general random things I wanted to mention that didn’t fit in the main article. 

To be fair, if Joss Whedon had been given four hours, I think he would have made a pretty great movie, too. It would’ve been very different tonally, and I would still most likely prefer Snyder’s version since he had made the previous movies, but I think he would have made something interesting if given the time. There was no way to turn what was meant to be at least a three hour film into a two film without making it feel incoherent and rushed.

And credit to Snyder for making a very watchable four hour movie. As I said before, it would be easy to cut down the runtime to make the movie more palatable for general audiences, but for a Snyder fan like me, the four hours never felt like a slog.

I dig the Knightmare sequence and even like Leto as the Joker here (I wasn’t a fan of him in Sucide Squad, but I also didn’t hate him in that). So I’m cool with that added bit, but the Martian Manhunter stuff and Deathstroke’s scene with Lex made less sense to me. With Deathstroke, that scene is there solely to set up the solo Batfleck movie which is the least likely thing to happen at this point, so why keep it? I guess it’s just there for the sake of introducing him before we see him again in the Knightmare sequence, but it still feels unnecessary. Speaking of unnecessary, Martian Manhunter feels very tacked on, and I flat out dislike the scene in which he impersonates Martha. So this super powerful alien knows shit’s going down, and his only contribution is to nudge Lois into leaving her apartment more often? It just led to more questions about Manhunter being Swanwick the whole time, like “What the fuck is this dude waiting for?”

Apparently, Snyder wanted to introduce Green Lantern, but Warner Brothers told him he couldn’t, so he changed it to Manhunter. Introducing Green Lantern wouldn’t have made much sense to me, either, unless Swanwick just recently acquired the ring. I don’t know. I just think a lot of stuff at the end was Snyder just dumping whatever he could in there because it was likely the last time he was going to be able to use any of these characters.  

Completely forgot J. K. Simmons was Gordon.

Jeremy Irons is an awesome Alfred. His extra moments were nice.

Cool to see more of the ancient Green Lantern in this version, but he went out like kind of a bitch.

I wish they had explained why Darkseid didn’t remember where Earth was. I know Wonder Woman says Earth was just one planet “anonymous among a trillion worlds,” but he’s been there before. Just one parademon couldn’t have made a note or something?

The flashback scene with a young Darkseid (or Uxas at this point) is so fucking good here. This is an R-rated superhero Lord of the Rings. 

Man, the Amazons that pulled a hammer shift at the Mother Box temple on the day Steppenwolf showed up are unlucky. Thousands of years of nothing, then he fucking shows up? I imagine one of them was covering for someone kind of like Dante in Clerks, and they yell “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” as the temple collapses.

Man, the janitor that pulled the night shift at the DOD lab the night the parademon showed up is unlucky. I imagine he was covering for his bud, and he yelled “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” as the parademon flew off with him.

Man, the Atlanteans that pulled a Mother Box shift the day Steppenwolf showed up...okay, I’ll stop.

According to Snyder, the future movies would involve Darkseid winning, and eventually the day would be saved by having the Flash go back in time (hence the “I’m too soon!” moment in BvS). There’s still a Flash solo movie coming, and it features Michael Keaton and Ben Affleck as Batman. I’m starting to think he’s going to travel back in time in that film and instead of saving the world, his actions are going to reset the DCEU, and that would somehow explain how these movies exist along with all the new, different versions we’re now getting.

"Age of Ultron" Is a Blatant Attack on the DC Movies...Oh, and It's Pretty Fun To Watch, Too.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Reviews of movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) are fairly pointless. Every entry in the series ends up being a huge hit and fans (both hardcore and casual) and critics tend to be pleased with them. That said, I can't resist reviewing the movie slightly, but then I want to focus more on one aspect that stuck out to me more than most. But first, the review.

                                                       

Avengers: Age of Ultron has some big shoes to fill, and it succeeds. It's not better than the first one, but it isn't noticeably worse, either. “Ultron” has some amazing action set pieces, humor, and set up for the future movies. In other words, it's very good Marvel movie. It is getting increasingly harder to keep up with what's going on with each character, but the self-aware humor of the film keeps things more fun than confusing.

Age of Ultron handles the even larger cast of characters as deftly as the first film...in fact, this is the rare sequel that truly feels like a continuation of the first film. Perhaps that will underwhelm people because Ultron does not up the stakes all that much and the villain isn't much better or worse than Loki in the first film. Of course, how do you raise the stakes when the world gets saved in the MCU every few months?

Speaking of the villain, Ultron, the evil, titular robot bent of destroying all humans so the next stage of evolution can occur, is surprisingly non-threatening and, even more surprisingly, funny. Perhaps it's James Spader's natural performance to inject some snark into the character, but Ultron's scenes played more for laughs than tension. Which is refreshing, since Marvel is the go-to for feel-good superhero movies about the potential destruction of the planet.

The humor of Ultron was not the only surprise of the film. Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) is given a lot more to do and actually serves as the emotional core of the film. This is interesting since some fans (like me) question why the guy with the bow and arrow is even involved. It helps that writer-director Joss Whedon anticipates this and gives Hawkeye a line pointing out the absurdity of it all. It's a testament to Whedon that Hawkeye felt like an equal on the team rather than an oddity.

All this makes it sound like Ultron is lesser than the first film, but it is simply equal. It just lacks that “wow” factor that the first film had since the buildup was so many years in the making. Ultron isn't the event the first film was; it's a sequel.

Speaking of events, Age of Ultron was slightly overshadowed in the comic book world by the release of a preview for Batman v Superman, DC Comics' set up for the Avengers-esque Justice League movie. Perhaps it's a coincidence, but Age of Ultron seems to be the anti-DC movie. Man of Steel featured more destruction than your typical action movie, and it is assumed that millions of people died as a result of the climactic battle of that film. Age of Ultron is very focused on the safety of civilians throughout. To be fair, Marvel films always try to keep things destructive and fun, but this time it seemed much more blatant. Iron Man scans a building to make sure no one is in it before he destroys it. The heroes are more worried about saving a few thousand people instead of the entire world. (SPOILER) A single civilian's life is saved at the expense of a hero. Pretty much every action scene near the end of the film involves saving (typically offscreen) lives.

What does this have to do with DC? First, it seems to be a direct response to the wanton destruction of Man of Steel (among other blockbuster action films). Second, this could be the defining difference between the two series: Marvel wants to save everyone and have a good time; DC wants to save most of the people, pointing out that even the greatest heroes can't save everyone and sacrifices are a necessary part of the superhero world. Marvel is the light-hearted optimist to cynical DC. (Unless it turns out that Batman is actually fighting Superman because of all that destruction, which would be cool with me, but weaken my point...)

To be fair, this has been the case the entire time between Marvel and DC movies. Avengers: Age of Ultron doesn't break new ground; it solidifies it. The MCU is a movie empire that will continue on its impressive course as the stories get bigger and better and lead to (a hopefully) satisfying conclusion in a few years before everything is inevitably rebooted. Ultron was a slight question mark in the MCU. It proves that each subsequent film can be as good as the last, and that's comforting when you see the slate of movies planned for the next 4 years (though some rumors say there are plans through 2028). Marvel will be a dependable good time at the theater for the foreseeable future.

Avengers: Age of Ultron receives a:

Random Thoughts (SPOILERS)

Now that Joss Whedon is telling everyone how compromised his vision of this film is it seems that the loud internet audience bashing this sequel have some evidence for their claims that the film is a mess. For the record, I don't care if a director bashes a film that I enjoy. That doesn't change my opinion. Also for the record, Whedon isn't bashing the film so much as he is airing some grievances about what it might have been. When I look at his comments about Thor's deleted subplot, however, it does make me look at the film a bit more harshly. (Final for the record, I wrote the review itself before I read Whedon's comments, so I felt the need to address a few things here.)

The only thing I want to mention in direct relation to Whedon's comments is Thor. While watching the movie, I remember wondering what the hell that "Pool of Knowing" or whatever was that Thor went to to have his vision. I wrote it off thinking it would be explained later, but then he literally reappears out of nowhere to bring Vision to life. After that, the final action sequence begins, and I stopped wondering about that pool. But now that I have read Whedon's comments, that scene sticks out like a sore thumb for me. Whedon has pulled back the curtain, and it has me questioning the MCU all over again.

I had issues with recent Marvel movies (aside from Guardians of the Galaxy since that film [at the moment] is fairly removed from this world) being too busy setting up other movies rather than telling their own stories. As it turns out, they are way too worried about setting up other movies, but the action and general good time of each film tends to overshadow that. This was the case with Ultron, but now I wonder about every *shudder* plot hole people bring up. It is annoying that within this universe a character can suddenly be in an unexplained mystical pool (which will be revealed in more detail in his next standalone film), or a character can show up with a before-never-mentioned helicarrier to transport innocent people to safety (which will be explained on the TV spinoff series in the coming weeks). This was a small problem when the first film came out, but it seems that as the universe gets bigger, the loose ends will continue to branch out into other movies and shows. I get that it's a "Universe," but even someone as dorky as me can get exhausted by the endless setup. (Case in point, I bailed on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. after only a few episodes.)

All that said, I still really enjoyed Age of Ultron. Now for more random thoughts.

Quicksilver was surprisingly better than I expected, although I still like the version (goofy looking as he is) from Days of Future Past. Good call on killing him off since another version of him exists in another franchise...

I don't know how to feel about Vision. I'm glad that Paul Bettany has a larger role now, but Vision looks kind of goofy. Also, that team at the end of the movie isn't too awe-inspiring: Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, Captain America, Falcon, War Machine, and Vision. They're powerful, sure, but I like a bit more name-recognition on my superhero teams.