Eyes Wide Shut - Bathroom Handshake

I’ve been writing a yearly article about Eyes Wide Shut since 2018, and I don’t plan on stopping until I have nothing to say about this movie. No matter what, I will always plan on watching this movie around Christmas so I can watch it amid the glow of Christmas decorations. I truly think it enhances the experience. One day I might run out of things to share about this movie, but that didn’t happen this year. That said, I do believe my days of doing deep dives on this Kubrick film are over, and I’ll just write short articles about whatever jumps out at me with each subsequent viewing.

Part of the reason I’m stopping the deep dives is because of the fandom this movie has produced over the years. Just spend a few minutes on reddit or YouTube regarding this movie, and it’ll make your head spin. The conspiracy theories almost ruin the film for me at this point because nearly every one of them seem to claim that the “movie isn’t what it seems.” I like what “it seems” to be, though. Too many of these conspiracy theories seem born of people who initially hated Kubrick’s last film and had to find a way to enjoy it. I just enjoy it.

Beyond the crazy stuff, there are people much more knowledgeable and motivated than me that have written book-length articles just about the art on the walls of the Harford apartment or how each degree of Freemasonry is represented in the film, etc. Whenever I try reading those articles, I just get lost in the history or whatever that I don’t know, and it just makes my head spin. Much like the conspiracy theorists, this stuff seems obsessed with everything but what is actually happening on screen. 

For me these days, I only want to watch this movie and judge it by what I see on the screen and what I already know. I don’t want to have to do homework to watch this movie. I just watched it, and this is what spoke to me this time: the bathroom handshake.

Victor Ziegler: Big Dick Energy

My favorite scene in Eyes Wide Shut has always been the Victor Ziegler scene near the end around the pool table. The whole thing plays out very similarly to the orgy ritual, with Ziegler hitting the cue ball on the pool table like Red Cloak hitting his staff on the ground (some have theorized that this means Ziegler is Red Cloak, but that’s fucking stupid since he’s clearly the one in the pirate mask). It also leads to what makes me revisit this movie each year: Ziegler’s explanation of what happened. I change my mind on what I believe from him each time I see it. And Pollack is so good in the scene. He’s somehow convincing as both someone who wants to save and kill Bill.

But that scene isn’t what stuck out this time. It’s that first creepy moment near the beginning of the film. Bill is called up to Ziegler’s insanely fancy bathroom featuring erotic artwork, a couch, and a vanity (I used to think it was just a desk, but I noticed the mirror this time; it’s still a doozy of a vanity, but it’s more normal than just a desk being in there). Ziegler, a true rich degenerate, was sampling a hooker, Amanda, for the orgy the next night when she OD'd on him. 

That alone is fucking insane. How unhinged is this man to pull this shit during his own Christmas party with what appears to be hundreds of guests? This couldn’t wait? This is just evidence that Ziegler feels above basic humanity. He’s rich and powerful enough to do whatever he wants, which apparently includes banging hookers in his bathroom/small apartment during social events.

Despite this feeling of power, though, he still sticks with simple customs, like handshakes. As Dr. Bill arrives to check on Amanda, Ziegler shakes his hand. This always struck me as odd. First off, they’ve already seen each other that evening, so it wasn’t a “hello” handshake. It feels more like a business handshake, because that’s what this situation has become: a cold, non-emotional issue that needs to be resolved. And you shake fucking hands when dealing with things like this.

From this point on, Ziegler is all business. He just wants this woman out of the house as soon as possible because he’s done with her. You can see the annoyance on his face when Bill tells him Amanda needs to stay there for a few hours. Sure, he was worried that she might die, but not because the loss of human life would trouble him; it was because getting rid of a dead body in the middle of his Christmas party would be a nightmare.

During this, Ziegler makes an odd power stance behind Bill, seeming to point to his own crotch while Bill checks on Amanda. He does a similar thing in the later scene when he stands at the pool table with the pool cue situated at his crotch. As if the situations weren’t example enough of his power, Ziegler must be exuding big dick energy at all times.

This has ramifications for Ziegler’s later explanation of the events at the orgy. There are times when I’ve watched this and believed everything Ziegler tells Bill. Perhaps that’s naive of me, but as I’ve gotten older conspiracy theories have become less interesting to me because they require more energy. It’s easier to just believe this prick. But not this time.

While I still think Nick Nightingale is alive (mainly because he was taken back to his hotel, which doesn’t really make sense if the goal is to kill him), I don’t believe that Amanda died of an overdose. He was so ready to be rid of her in the earlier scene that it was clear he didn’t see her as human. She was a product for him to use and throw away, if need be. The bathroom handshake started me down this route, but one line from Ziegler sealed it for me during the pool table scene when he describes Amanda’s death: “The police are happy.” 

First off, how does he know they’re “happy”? And what a weird way to say that. Why not, “The police don’t suspect foul play” or something? Why bring up the police at all? It all just sounds like he’s trying too hard to make it seem normal when he’s already made it clear that he thought of her only as a disposable hooker. He draws the line at killing musicians with families (because that would lead to questions) and doctors (who can be of use to him), but a woman with an established drug problem? No loss there. All this from a handshake; so much for no more deep dives.

Random Thoughts 

You can tell Nick is bored playing at the party at the beginning. He's probably thinking, “The fuck party job is so much cooler than this shit.”

There are random stacks of books throughout the Harford residence. I imagine Kubrick’s house always had books lying around everywhere.

“Would you like to sit down?”

“Sure, but first I need to put my hand on your dead dad's forehead because that seems like a doctorly thing to do.”

Of all the Christmas movies, this benefits the most from being viewed next to the glow of a Christmas tree.

“You should have tits you're standing so close!” What?

I wonder how many takes of eating Snackwell’s and smoking Kubrick put Kidman through. “Stanley, I'm on my third box of cookies and second pack of cigarettes, what do you want!”

This is the first time my dumbass noticed the tribal masks on Domino's wall.

There's never a good time to tell your husband about your dream of fucking other men while you laugh in his shamed face, but the night that you also told about your naval officer fantasy and his disastrous attempt at infidelity leading to a sex cult of the wealthy elite possibly planning to kill him is probably the worst time.

Cruise is such a cocky prick when he hits on Domino's roommate. The way he says, “Hello, Sally,” makes me wish he contracted HIV from Domino.

Having Matt Pinfield stalk you through the streets of Pinewood NYC must be terrifying.

Always cracks me up seeing Bill drinking Budweiser.

Poor Things - Kubrickian

Yorgos Lanthimos’s films have always been divisive, with films like Dogtooth, The Lobster, and The Killing of a Sacred Deer either completely working for people (like me) or falling completely flat on their deadpan faces for others. Then The Favourite came out and garnered a lot of awards attention (Olivia Colman won Best Actress and the film was nominated in nearly every major category). While The Favourite has its odd moments, it’s positively mainstream for a Lanthimos movie, which is why it disappointed me. I was afraid that Lanthimos had lost his weird edge. Then Poor Things kicked in the door holding a chicken dog, peed on the floor, tried to punch a baby, and let out a noxious burp bubble into the air.

In other words, Poor Things is wildly strange all around. It’s also the funniest, most well-acted, and inventive film of the year. (It’s also my personal favorite, and it won Best Picture from the Indiana Film Journalists Association.) 

Poor Things is hard to summarize, but here goes: Emma Stone plays Bella, a Frankenstein’s Monster-ish creation of scientist Baxter (Willem Dafoe). She begins the movie as an adult with the mind of a baby, but as she matures at a rapid rate, she decides to see the world with one of the best cinematic rapscallions of all time in Duncan Wedderburn (Mark Ruffalo, in a shockingly funny performance). Bella sees the best and worst of the world, and it’s all presented in fantastical, horrible, and hilarious ways. 

I typically do not like writing plot summaries (you can always just Google it or watch a trailer or something), but I liked the challenge of it for this one since I liked it so much. This movie simply works on every level for me in a way that I haven’t felt since Stanley Kubrick’s films (more on that later).

The writing (Tony McNamara, adapting the novel by Alasdair Gray) is the standout element, as the entire film is quotable. It’s funny, but the straightforward, child-like dialogue of Bella also points out many of the ridiculous elements of humanity. And while it’s all quirky and funny, I still cared about most of the characters, though they could be framed as villains in other films (especially Dafoe’s character). 

It takes skill to deliver the funniest lines of the script, especially in Lanthimos’s signature tone. And Emma Stone is perfect. She has to play an adult baby, a prostitute, and a scientist all in one role. Her performance as an adult baby alone is adwards-worthy, the rest is just a bonus. And Mark Ruffalo is an amazing foil to her. It’s funny when he just goes along with Bella’s oddness, but it’s the best when she finally breaks him, causing him wonder, “What the fuck are you talking about?” multiple times throughout. His transformation throughout the film is equally impressive and amusing. 

The writing and acting are so great in this film, it almost seems to be a waste that the music and production design are so unique, as well, because they are nearly an afterthought when they would be the standouts in other, weaker films. The discordant score captures the unsettling mood of each scene. And the creatures (what other film has a chicken dog walking around with no one talking about it?) and set decoration complete the picture by creating a world that is recognizable but also fantastical. 

All of this is enough to make this one of my favorite movies in recent years. But it’s the Kubrickian element that I think will cement this among my all-time favorite films. Lanthimos is no stranger to the Kubrick comparison. Anyone who uses deadpan humor, tracking shots, and slow zooms gets compared to Kubrick at some point. This is why I usually don’t like calling things Kubrickian these days. While Poor Things does have all those Kubrick-like elements, I label it as Kubrickian for what it represents in Lanthimos’s career arc. 

Poor Things isn’t actually similar, story-wise, to anything Kubrick would make. But it is the kind of movie he would make. Kubrick, while toiling around in similar thematic areas with his films, never tried to make the same film twice. And Lanthimos appears to be on that same track. The fact that I didn’t love The Favourite now seems like a good thing. If he kept making movies like The Lobster over and over, it would get tiring immediately. To go from Sacred Deer to The Favourite to Poor Things shows a willingness to go to new, interesting places, much like how Kubrick could go from Barry Lyndon to The Shining to Full Metal Jacket. The style may be similar, but the content shows a desire to keep things interesting. And for Lanthimos, that also means getting very weird sometimes, and that works for me. 

Random Thoughts

I only focused on Stone and Ruffalo, but truly every performance in this is great. Dafoe is amazing, of course, and Ramy Youssef has many great moments reacting to Dafoe’s craziness. 

This is a gloriously demented mashup of Benjamin Button, Jack, and Forrest Gump.

“Fate had brought me a dead body and a live infant. It was obvious.”

“It…was?”

“She grabbed my hairy business!”

“I was chloroforming goats all morning. I may have ingested too much.”

Lanthimos is truly like Kubrick. It’s not just that their films share some superficial similarities, it’s the tone in which they are made. This very much strikes me as the type of film Kubrick would make if he were still alive.

I worry myself in typing this, but Yorgos Lanthimos gets me.

I am so happy to live in a world in which a company is willing to give this lunatic a lot of money to make hilarious shit like this, which is a film that dares to ask, “What if Dr. Frankenstein was good at his job?” 

The segment of her just wanting to eat, drink, and fuck reminded me of when Bender became a human on Futurama.

I never knew I needed to hear Mark Ruffalo say, “What the fuck are you talking about?” in a British accent. 

“Hope is smashable. Realism is not.”

Usually, I think movies don’t justify their length, but I could watch Emma Stone break down situations in a deadpan manner for five hours, at least. My favorite was her working out how it made sense to start working in a Parisian brothel.

Her first customer kind of looks like Will Forte from the plane sketch in I Think You Should Leave.

“Hence, I seek employment at your musty-smelling establishment of good-time fornication.”

“She is no different to the chicken dog.”

“He has cancer, you fucking idiot.”

This is the most exciting character Ruffalo has played in years, maybe ever.

Eyes Wide Shut - What's in a Name?

Since 2018, I have been writing a yearly article about Eyes Wide Shut around Christmas because it is my favorite Christmas movie. Part of the reason why I love this movie so much is because I come away with something different each time I watch it, and I even change my mind from viewing to viewing when it comes to what is real and what is either a dream or staged during Bill Harford’s wacky night. This year, Bill’s treatment of names stuck out the most.

Before I get into it, I want to clarify that this is not about the meaning of names in the film. This is about the names Bill remembers and the one name he forgets. The only thing I’ll point out about actual names is that Bill's last name is Harford, not Hartford (as I see it erroneously spelled in so many articles), and this slightly odd name is a result of Kubrick wanting a Harrison Ford type, which becomes Harford. But enough about that IMDb trivia-type shit.

Bill Harford is a man who is extremely concerned about appearances. He is doing well as a doctor, but he aspires to be at the top of society, which is why he has ingratiated himself with patients like Victor Ziegler. But even more than this, he wants to be seen as a man. This is why he turns into a frat bro with Nick Nightingale (just watch how many times these two playfully pat each other during their short conversation at the party), and it’s why Bill feels the need to revenge cheat on Alice after her revelation about the naval officer. I don’t think that Bill is actually all that bothered about her wanting another man; he’s just concerned with what it says about him as a man that she would want anyone other than him. This is accentuated by the college dudes who seem to materialize from Bill’s subconscious to accost him in the street and question his sexuality. The struggle within Bill is that this is something out of his control, which is what makes the night increasingly foolhardy. This is why things that Bill can control are so important, and one of those things is the ability to remember names.

Bill remembers literally every character’s name in this film except Roz, Helena’s babysitter for the night of Ziegler’s party. It happens so early in the film that it doesn’t appear to be that big of a deal at first. As the film goes on, though, it becomes a glaring omission. 

At the party, Bill is able to spot a college classmate who dropped out, and he remembers his full name. Later, he meets a couple models, and when one of them, Nuala, introduces herself Bill even asks how she spells her name. The first time I saw this I thought it was just a lame way of flirting, but now I think he sincerely wanted to remember her name. 

Those first two examples aren’t all that exceptional, but it quickly becomes apparent that names are important when Bill shows up for work the next day. He addresses the secretary, Lisa, by name, then tells her to ask Janelle to bring his coffee, and he greets Sarah by name as he walks into his office. Yes, he should know the names of co-workers, but why would Kubrick make a point to introduce three character names in less than thirty seconds other than to make a point about Bill’s obsession with names?

This could all be dismissed until we meet Rosa, the maid at the Nathansons. Bill greets her by name when he shows up after Nathanson has died. To be clear, he should remember her name. The point of all this isn’t that he should not be remembering all these names; it’s that it’s fucked up that the only name he needs help remembering in the entire film is the woman taking care of his daughter. No offense to Rosa, but Roz is a more important person in Bill’s life. 

But remembering Roz’s name doesn’t do anything for Bill’s appearance. She is someone who is paid to stay in his apartment and watch his daughter. It wouldn’t impress anyone if he remembered her name. Now, if someone happened to notice that Bill remembered Rosa’s name, then perhaps they would think this is a man who cares, or at least appears to.

This also brings up what type of parent Bill is. Alice is a stay-at-home mom, so she handles most of the parenting. Bill seems to be attentive when he’s home, but he doesn’t interact with Helena all that much, and she becomes an afterthought. She even walks out of frame at the end of the movie, and both Bill and Alice fail to notice that she’s not in sight anymore. There are conspiracy theories about this scene regarding two men seen near Helena, but I’m not wading into that territory. I tend to go with the simpler explanation that Helena disappears at the end because she is not on either parent’s mind at the moment. 

But I would argue that Helena is almost never on Bill’s mind, while Alice brings her up and interacts with her much more than Bill. The parent in me just wants to focus on the absent parent aspect of Bill’s character, but I don’t think that’s the point to take away from this. Bill, in his quest to appear as a member of the upper crust who should be able to go to orgies and shit, thinks that childcare is something that is handled by wives and nameless babysitters. It’s all about appearances, and kids don’t factor into the appearance that Bill aspires to project. Too bad he doesn’t realize it’s not working. But hey, at least Rosa feels seen when Dr. Bill shows up.

Is Any of It Real?

I typically believe that the night actually happens because it’s too messy to argue that any or all of it is a dream. It’s meant to be dream-like, but I don’t think Kubrick is trying to say this is all just subconscious fantasy. As for where I stand on Ziegler’s claim that all the orgy stuff was staged, I tend to believe him. This time, I believe him because of the interaction with the desk clerk at Nick’s hotel. Why go to the trouble of taking Nick back to his hotel and telling the clerk someone would be by for any future correspondence? If they’re going to kill Nick, then they would’ve just killed him, and one of the goons could’ve taken care of the hotel room. They certainly wouldn’t bring Nick to the hotel and create a scene if they were going to kill him. But Alan Cumming makes a strange face when Bill leaves, like he just finished a performance and is relieved. Sure, this is probably because Kubrick had him do this scene ninety times, but still the camera lingers on him. I don’t fucking know. That’s why I love this movie. Any time I think I know what is real or isn’t, I find evidence to change my mind.

Random Thoughts

Alice knows Bill will likely forget Roz's name even after she just reminded Bill, which is why she makes a point to address her by name before they leave. This is clearly something she has to deal with all the time.

He remembered Peter Grenning's name even though Grenning moved away over a year ago and was clearly no longer his patient. And he remembered that the dude owned a fucking costume shop? His brain fascinates me.

I'm surprised Bill didn't ask the masked goons what their names were on the way into the orgy.

The Sonata Cafe has a doorman and a host? Neither appear to be necessary. But we are talking about a club that would book a pianist from across the country for a two week gig. That place must've closed down soon after, especially since that prick piano player didn't show up the next night.

Ziegler saw him talking to Nick…but then ran off to the bathroom to bang Mandy?

I've gone into some color theory stuff in the past, but I still mainly like the Christmas setting as an excuse to make everything beautifully lit.

Eyes Wide Shut - Stupid Unresolved Adventures

Starting in 2018, I decided to write about Eyes Wide Shut every year because I’m a fucking weirdo. I don’t know how long I’ll keep it up, and I’m not re-reading old articles, so I’m likely repeating myself a bit, but who cares? This year, to add some new insight, I read the script and the novel the film was based on.

The Screenplay

The screenplay, by Stanley Kubrick and Frederic Raphael, didn’t reveal very much that isn’t already onscreen. I was hoping for perhaps the script to have several variations or maybe deleted scenes, but it’s pretty much exactly what we see in the film. I’m sure there are plenty of versions of this script, but they just published the final one. I’ll just point out a few things I found interesting.

The stage direction was my main focus since the dialogue was pretty much identical. The first thing that stuck out to me was when Bill first sees Nick. The script says, “They exchange friendly pats.” They took this to the extreme when they filmed it, so much so that I counted how many times (eight) they “patted” each other in a previous article.

I always find Ziegler shaking Bill’s hand when he arrives at the bathroom at the party to be funny in an absurd way, and it’s in the script.

The pot Bill and Alice smoke is referred to as a “spliff” in the script. This made me laugh, because I thought a spliff was just slang for a big ass joint. But then I looked up, and now I’m even more confused.

The frat bros have a couple lines in the script, but most of their shit is just described as “provocatively taunting him about his sexuality.”

There isn’t a lot of color mentioned in the script, but it is specified that Domino’s door is red. And Alice is described as wearing a blue robe at around the same time. Also, the Snackwell’s that she’s eating are just called cookies in the script. 

For the record, in the script Rainbow Fashions is located on “ANOTHER STREET.” (The all caps is from the script; I’m not yelling it.)

I noticed a while back that captions pick up Milich’s daughter telling Bill, “You should have a cloak lined with ermine.” That line is in the script.

It is mentioned in the script that Bill is about to kiss Amanda’s corpse but stops himself. Damn. Also, there’s no mention of the voice-over we hear in that scene.

It’s actually in the script that Ziegler says “let’s” four times.

And that’s pretty much it. Only someone like me really stands to gain anything from reading the script, and even then, it’s not much. The novel, on the other hand…

Dream Story

The novel, really a novella, by Arthur Schnitzler is surprisingly faithfully adapted here. Published in 1926, the basic premise is the same: after a party, a wife confesses about a sexual fantasy, which spurs the husband into seeking revenge over two nights as he encounters multiple chances, including a masked orgy, and questions his marriage and himself.

There are too many similarities to mention here, but I did want to focus on a few and some other parts of the book that inform or differ from the film. 

The book basically begins during the “spliff” scene in Eyes Wide Shut. The couple had been to a masked ball the previous night where both of them had been hit on. The husband, Fridolin (I can see why this was changed to Bill), was approached by two women dressed as red dominoes. The wife, Albertine (Alice is a natural adaptation of this name), was propositioned by a Polish man. The most interesting part of this was the description of red dominoes. This led to a prostitute names Domino in the film whose apartment door is red. Not to mention the use of red throughout the film to signify danger. 

Their mutual close calls with adultery lead them to talk about how this wasn’t the first time this had happened. They both realize that even though they love each other very much, their marriage has been tested repeatedly, and they seem to be destined to cheat on each other if they don’t admit some things and move on. Albertine confesses first, not out of any kind of anger about the male perception of female sexuality a la Alice in the film, but because she’s simply the bolder of the two. 

Albertine’s confession is similar to Alice’s, but where the major deviation occurs is when Fridolin makes his confession. In the film, Bill is seemingly attacked by Alice’s story, and he offers none of his own. Here, Fridolin tells a story about becoming infatuated with a fifteen-year-old girl on stilts (yes, on stilts) that he met while going for walks during a vacation in Denmark. 

Leaving this out in the film changes things. I get why they wouldn’t want to have Bill confess to wanting to bang a teenager practicing for the circus, but that aspect could have easily been changed to be more appropriate. Instead, they just leave it out and have her confession be made out of anger. This isn’t done to demonize Alice; it’s more to prove her point. Men are expected to have these close calls and fantasies because they’re just naturally horny monsters, whereas women need romance and security and shit. Alice is pointing out that it’s really no different. Bill doesn’t confess anything because it’s assumed he has a hundred stories like Alice because, hey, he’s a fuckin’ dude. 

Alice being the sole confessor allows Eyes Wide Shut to be about both marriage and the fragile male psyche in regards to female sexuality. Bill goes off on his adventures not only to get even with Alice, but also to prove how much of a red-blooded, American, fuck-machine MAN he is, god damn it! 

Fridolin’s adventures, on the other hand, are a little less mean-spirited. He is more dejected than Bill. To be fair, the book does deal with the female sexuality issue, even including the line, “if only you all knew.” But Eyes Wide Shut makes it a bit more angry.

Fridolin is called away to a dead patient’s house where a female relative, Marianne, professes her love for him. He’s less shocked than Bill. Fridolin pities the woman to the point of being mean about it (in his thoughts). His inner monologue reveals that he’s completely bored with the woman, as is the corpse in the room that joins in their silence, “not because he could no longer talk, but deliberately and out of sheer malice.” Fridolin can be kind of a dick. 

Fridolin considers the potential romance more than Bill does, but he just finds himself so bored with Marianne that he doesn’t pursue it. Once again, ol’ Frid can be a dick.

After leaving the patient’s house, Fridolin discovers that he simply does not want to go home. He has some thoughts that are silently conveyed in the film: “glad that he was in his prime, that a charming and lovable woman was there at his disposal, and that he could have another one, many others, if he so desired.”

Fridolin also has an encounter with some young college students taunting him, though here it spurs fears of being a coward instead of a homosexual. He grows more and more angry about the encounter, and it eventually puts him in a very dark mood in which everyone in his life, including his wife and daughter disappear as if ghosts, “which seemed to release him from all responsibility, indeed from all connection with humanity.”

This is the mindset that leads him to a prostitute. This plays out very much the same way as in the film, though it’s not a phone call that stops things, but rather the prostitute (here named Mizzi) sensing Fridolin was afraid. This makes Fridolin attempt to have sex with her, but Mizzi’s disinterest stops him. She then refuses any kind of payment and also decides to stay in for the rest of the night. 

Fridolin’s mean-spirited goal of adultery seemed to emanate off of him and taint the whole experience with Mizzi. He does regain a bit of humanity during the exchange, though, as he wonders just how the hell he ended up in this situation. In the film, Bill has to be made to feel this way through a phone call from his wife. 

The encounter with Domino in the screenplay is one of the few times color is specifically mentioned, and in the book, color plays a part, too. Mizzi puts on a red dressing gown when sex is still an option, but once sex is off the table, she wraps a blue shawl around herself. It would seem that Kubrick and Raphael took this color theme and ran with it.

After leaving Mizzi, Fridolin still doesn’t want to go home, so he visits a coffeehouse and runs into Nightingale. This is his first appearance, but he’s still a medical school dropout turned musician. However, in the book he comes across as a much more bohemian type, and he ends up letting Fridolin know about the orgy as a kind of repayment since Fridolin had loaned him money on numerous occasions. 

Nightingale does become reluctant for many of the same reasons as he does in the film. Where would Fridolin get a costume at this hour and whatnot. In this instance, everything is much simpler and easier. It’s carnival season, so a costume shop is open. The orgy takes place in the city, so Fridolin simply has a cab follow Nightingale. This is only notable because all of this is reasonable for this time and setting, but in the film, it makes it seem less likely and more dream-like that Bill could somehow rent a costume in the middle of the night. 

All of this ease seems to make Fridolin horny again because when the costume shop owner’s daughter shows up just like she does in the film, he has a desire to stay with her for the rest of the night (also, she says, “you must give this gentleman an ermine mantle and a red silk jerkin”). She is sent to her room while the shop owner promises to deal with the men (judges in this instance) who were with her. Fridolin marvels at how “natural” this is all seems as his night has become pure chaos. 

He then heads to the orgy armed with the password (“Denmark,” which surprises him since that was where both he and his wife had their fantasies). The “orgy” is not nearly as graphic here, with “dancing” being described more than anything else. Things play out as they do in the film. He is immediately noticed as not belonging by a female attempting to help him, but he stays anyway. Fridolin almost instantly becomes obsessed with the woman trying to help him (the dude falls in love easily, I guess). This leads him to insist on staying, though at one point he decides to confess to everyone that he’s an intruder because he simply doesn’t know enough about how things work at the orgy. Before he can, he’s found out anyway, and a very similar scene as in the movie plays out. But a key difference here is that Fridolin really argues with them and wants to take the woman who warned him with him. This is denied, and he is forcibly removed. 

Since there isn’t a Ziegler-type in the book, Fridolin is left to come up with the “charade” argument himself. Perhaps it was all an act designed to deal with the specific situation he had created by showing up there. Hilariously, he wonders if it wasn’t an act and perhaps the mystery woman was so attracted to him that she experienced a sudden “reformation.” To his credit, Fridolin explains maybe this is possible because perhaps on some magical nights losers like him suddenly appear irresistible to women.

As Fridolin makes his way finally home, he becomes depressed, even wishing a stranger would kill him so that this night of “stupid unresolved adventures” might make “some sort of sense.” I think “stupid unresolved adventures” is a good alternate title for both book and film, and I’m lazy enough to use it as the title of this article.

As he tries to piece the evening together, Fridolin considers that the entire evening could be a dream, or a fevered delirium. Though he snaps himself out of it by opening his eyes as “wide as he could” and deciding that he is “fully awake.”

Fridolin comes home and Albertine tells him her dream (in which Fridolin is crucified!). This angers him anew, and he considers his wife a “mortal enemy” as they go to sleep. 

The next day plays out similarly to the film. He returns the costume, and the owner offers up his daughter to him. He visits the site of the orgy and is given a written warning. All through the day he keeps returning to the conclusion that his life is a lie, and his marriage is over. 

As he puts off going home, he ends up in a coffeehouse and reads about the suicide by poison of a woman in a hotel the night before. He deduces that this is the mystery woman because she told him that this what happened to a woman in the past when she got involved in an incident at the orgy.

 

Fridolin uses his magic doctor card to get to see the body, and a truly creepy scene occurs in which he almost starts to do something to the body. Thankfully, his doctor friend with him in the morgue asks him what the fuck he’s doing. Something similar is hinted at in the film, as Bill spends an awful long time staring at the body, though he stops himself from doing anything. Who knows what would have happened if Frid had been left alone. Fuckin’s Frid: that teenager-on-stilts loving freaky piece of shit.

Much like in the film, the death of this woman brings a dark finality to the adventures. Here, though, without Ziegler to offer up the charade option, it seems much more definite that this woman died for helping him. It’s up for debate in the film. But why would this woman help Fridolin in such a way? I guess it really was a magic night in which Fridolin, typically a weird loser bitch of a man, was able to make a woman give her life for him at first sight. Jokes aside, isn’t that in keeping with the book and film? Sometimes men and women have this freak connection for no discernible reason, and they are willing to throw everything away. Unfortunately for the woman at the orgy, this moment happened among very serious company. 

When Fridolin comes home, he discovers his mask on the bed, and just like in the film, decides to tell Albertine everything. In a somber conversation at the end, Fridolin and Albertine decide that it’s good they are both awake to the problems in their marriage, at least for now. They acknowledge, as the film does, that actual attempts at infidelity and dreams/fantasies about it are the same. Albertine, just like Alice, tells Fridolin to focus on the moment instead of romantic notions of “forever.” And isn’t that a major point of both book and film? Don’t get too hung up on things, real or imagined, of the past or future. Stay awake in the moment. 

The couple fall silent after this conversation, and the day begins around them. There’s no more time to sit there dwelling on everything. This isn’t the pointed, single-word punch ending of the film. Instead of “fuck,” it’s more like it’s time to get throgh another day, so “fuck it.”

Why Do I Own This?

Uh…necessity?

Random Thoughts

I think that's a set of golf clubs in the corner of the bedroom. There's also a couple racquets in the corner of the opening shot with Kidman, so I get that Bill is active, and it's also clear that the Harfords don't mind clutter (seriously, look closely at their bedroom in that opening scene). But how does Bill not have a better storage option for his clubs? It's Christmas, it's not like he's played recently.

It just occurred to me that Bill and Alice basically do the same cheek kissing thing that happens at the orgy with the Zieglers.

At this point, I think I pay more attention to the background than anything else in this movie.

With each viewing, I get the sense more and more that the two models with Bill at the party are on a mission. Nuala seems to be putting on a show a bit too much, and she gives Gayle a look that says, "We failed," when Bill is called away. I don't think it's all that conspiratorial. I just think Ziegler set it up for Bill. It seems like the kind of thing Ziegler, a man who fucks in the bathroom during his own party, would do.

I've written about the use of color before, but for me the main purpose of the color is to make this film fucking beautiful. Between the use of color in the lighting and the prominence of the Christmas decorations, this movie just looks amazing, especially if you watch it in a room decorated for Christmas, as I do each year.

The Harfords' bedroom phone looks like an office phone.

Stacks of movies and cds on the windowsill. A random stack of books on the dresser. The Harfords live like I did in high school. 

"...this fucking hypothetical woman patient's mind."

The scene with Marion will always be funny to me (the whole "We barely know each other" stuff), but it's truly one of the most important moments, plot-wise. Not only does Marion represent a chance for Bill to get his revenge, but she confirms what Alice says about women. Marion is willing to throw everything away to be with Bill, a man she barely really knows, just like Alice with the naval officer. This encounter truly sets Bill on his "adventure" because now two things are real: Alice really would have thrown it all away for a man she barely knew, and Bill has a real chance to cheat on her.

Domino has a fucking bathtub in the kitchen.

Fidelio (which means "faithful" in Latin) obviously works thematically for the film; in the book, the password is Denmark, which makes sense for that story as Denmark is where the protagonist was first tempted to cheat on his wife.

Now that I've noticed that the costume shop is across the street from the jazz club (and yet Bill takes a cab to get there), I can't unnotice it. The night has to be at least partly a dream. Kubrick didn't make mistakes like this, even if he was dealing with limited space since the street scenes were on a set. There's no way he allows the diner next to the club to be in the shot of Cruise at the costume shop by mistake, right? Right?

The "redeeming" scene comes across more staged with each viewing. This viewing, I am totally convinced that everything Ziegler tells Bill is right. It was done for show, then Mandy ended up ODing. I suppose it is totally possible that they gave her a hot dose or something, but I would say that’s because of her incident at Ziegler’s party more than the “redeeming.” Perhaps that makes me naive, but all of Bill’s adventures in almost having sex involve coincidences. It was a coincidence that he should be called to Marion’s house right after Alice’s confession; it was a coincidence that Alice called him right as he was about to have sex with a prostitute; it was a coincidence that he found himself at Nightingale’s club gig, etc. Why not add a known drug addict OD-ing to the list of coincidences?

I made fun of how much Bill identifies himself as a doctor in a previous article, but you know, if I was working the counter of a diner a doctor told me they needed to know someone’s address for some test results, I’d probably tell them. Although I hope it would occur to me later that doctors don’t typically give results in person, and doctors tend to have contact info for all their patients.

Those red arrows in that giant revolving door are going right through Dr. Bill.

So to be clear, Bill is a doctor that doesn’t know his patients’ contact info and doesn’t know when they are dead.