"World War Z" - Zombie Movies in the Time of Coronavirus.

 SPOILERS ahead.

I’ve been using movies and writing about movies as a distraction during this pandemic, but my wife and I did decide to watch World War Z because of it. Most people went with Contagion or Outbreak for their pandemic-related stress watch, but we’re zombie people. As it turns out, World War Z is the perfect movie for this situation, as the zombie outbreak is viewed from a disease control point of view rather than just survival. That is what I liked about it the first time I saw it, and that is what I appreciated most about it during my pandemic rewatch. I love zombie movies, but I do find the acceptance of the outbreak to be a bit annoying at times. Even Romero’s films that did deal with studying the zombies (Day) or how they evolved (Land) were not concerned with how it started or how, or if, it could be cured. There’s nothing wrong with that, and Romero’s films are still my favorite, but it is refreshing to see a movie take the unsettlingly realistic approach that World War Z takes, even if it does deviate from its source material in major ways. For me and my wife personally, this rewatch also made us think about a much more terrifying aspect of a zombie outbreak: dealing with the situation with children.

Everything Changes When You Have Kids, Even How You React to Zombie Movies.

Becoming a parent has changed me in many ways, especially how I watch movies. For the most part, it just makes me cry during movies much more often. Watching a zombie movie is different, though. Of course the idea of trying to protect my children during a zombie apocalypse adds to the terror of the genre, but with World War Z it occurred to me that the true nightmare of it all would be forgetting to pack a blankie.

In World War Z, Brad Pitt and his family are stuck in traffic when the outbreak hits. On top of the general chaos of the situation, they can’t find their youngest daughter’s blankie, and they don’t have albuterol for their older daughter’s asthma. Now this is the kind of terrible shit I can identify with. 

Anyone with a child, but especially people with two or more, can identify with what an ordeal it is to simply leave the house. As parents of a baby and a toddler, there’s a fifty/fifty chance we will forget something when we leave home. The hope is that it’s something minor like an extra toy or a burp cloth and not something detrimental like formula or a beloved blanket. When Pitt’s daughter screamed for her blanket, my wife and I exchanged knowing glances: this would totally happen to us in this situation. I could picture my daughter screaming for a blanket as society crumbled around her with perfect clarity. What’s scarier is the fact that I know I would be much more concerned with finding her blanket than I would be with the collapse of civilization around me. Parenting really does a number on a person when it comes to concern for getting a child to shut up being more important than your overall compassion for your fellow man. 

Jokes aside, keeping your children not only alive but also calm would be a monumental task in such a situation. How could I possibly keep my three-year-old daughter calm in this scenario? Even once we got out of the city and things were half-assed calm, we would still have to deal with the barrage of inevitable and unanswerable questions. “Why that man bite that lady? Daddy why you run over that woman? Are monsters gonna eat us? Where their mommies and daddies? Where’s Nana and Pop Pop?” Not to mention dealing the typical declarations of, “I scared” and “I hungry.” 

Tough questions would be one thing, medicine would be another. Thankfully, my children don’t require any daily meds, but it is pretty common for them to need a prescription or an over the counter medicine. Usually, we have plenty on hand, so that doesn’t concern me too much. But one element of World War Z creeped us out: albuterol. Pitt and family have to stop at a store that is being looted to look for albuterol for their asthmatic daughter. When we watched this movie, the pandemic panic had just begun, so empty store shelves were certainly on our mind. But what was truly eerie is that I had to go out and get a prescription for albuterol that same day.

At the mention of albuterol I had a premonition. If a zombie outbreak ever occurred, it wouldn’t be the zombies that got me. I would probably get gunned down by a looter at CVS. With my dying breath, I would try to tell the looter, “I just wanted albuterol. You can have all the fun and addictive stuff. Why the fuck isn’t this stuff over the counter, anyway? (Death rattle.)”

The Best and the Worst Time to Watch This Movie.

Most of us are trying to watch things to distract us from the current situation, which explains the popularity of shows like Love Is Blind and Tiger King at the moment. But there’s also a desire to watch movies and shows that mirror the current situation. I can’t speak to anyone else’s reason for watching such material, but for me it’s twofold. First, I want to see how accurate the film is at predicting the world’s reaction. Second, I want to be able to say, “Hey, at least it’s not as bad as this...yet.” 

As for the accuracy of World War Z, it feels very realistic, mainly because both the zombie outbreak of the film and the coronavirus of our unfortunate reality strike relatively quickly. On top of that, both viruses are new enough that doctors still need to study them to find a cure or treatment. Much like Brad Pitt, we’re learning about this thing as it happens.

World War Z takes its title literally when it comes to learning about the virus. Pitt travels the globe trying to track down the source and learn how other countries are handling the outbreak. Just like the real virus, the origins are Asian, but aside from that hard facts about it are hard to come by. Stories and rumors are aplenty while hard facts take much longer to prove. In the film, it’s revealed that North Korea is surviving it because the teeth of the entire population were removed, giving them no way to transmit the virus. Whether or not this is true is never proven, but it’s similar to conspiracy theories people have about information from countries like North Korea regarding the coronavirus, with many people claiming that, at best, they aren’t reporting true numbers in their country and, at worst, they’re just killing everyone with symptoms. 

Pitt ends up in Israel for a bit because they seem to have been more prepared than most. This is similar to us looking to other countries with smaller outbreaks and asking, “What are they doing that we’re not?” And Israel’s quick building of a massive wall immediately reminded me of the image of countless machines in China hastily building virus hospitals in a matter of days. 

It’s revealed that walls and any other physical barriers won’t stop the virus; only medicine and science can do that. In that case, World War Z is uplifting as they figure out a way to combat the virus pretty quickly. Unfortunately for us, developing a safe treatment for a new virus can take over a year even when all hands are on deck, and it’s given top priority. In that way, World War Z made me feel worse about our situation because no quick fix is going to be revealed. 

But what made me feel the worst about everything was that grocery store near the beginning. People lost their fucking minds, but there were zombies! We hear that we need to stay inside as much as possible and that some basketball games are canceled, and we buy up everything like it’s the zombie apocalypse, and their weakness is reveled to be toilet paper. Sure, our stores aren’t as bad as the one in World War Z, but there is plenty of footage out there of people fighting over resources in stores and of people buying way more than they could possibly ever need while leaving nothing for others.

What’s most terrifying is that I understand what people are doing. We didn’t buy a garage full of toilet paper or a freezer full of meat or a cart full of eggs (why?!), but we did want to stock up on formula for our baby. We didn’t go nuts, but we got enough for a few months. I didn’t fight anyone for any of it, and I didn’t take the whole supply from a store. But I started to wonder what I was capable of if there was a shortage. Would I buy ten containers while others who needed it too looked on? Would I physically fight someone for a container? I hate to admit it, but in the right scenario, I think I would (though I’d probably get my ass kicked in the fight scenario). My mentality is that my kid is going to eat before yours. That said, we’ve remained calm and only bought what we might need for a few months. It would take extreme circumstances for me to take something that someone else also needed. Unfortunately for humanity, a lot of people get to that point preemptively. And it only takes one moron buying ten jumbo boxes of diapers to make sane people think, “Oh shit, I wasn’t going to buy that much, but I better now because it’s all going to be gone soon.” And the psycho domino effect ensues.

Overall, I felt better about our current situation after watching World War Z, but it did make me ruminate on the selfish survival instincts humans have and how having children amplifies those instincts. The film mostly made me thankful because if the proposition of staying home as a preventative measure prompted the behavior we’ve seen so far, how would all these crazy people react if something truly fucked up like a zombie apocalypse happened? I hope, for my children’s sake, we never find out.

Why Do I Own This?

I own a lot of zombie movies, so that’s the main reason why. If this movie came out today, I probably would not buy it. I would only buy it if they did a “Snyder Cut” situation where they go back and finish the original Russia ending and release that, but that will never happen.

Random Thoughts

"Mother Nature is a serial killer."

North Korea gets it! No teeth, no bite.

I like the main theme used for the film. It just feels like zombie music to me for some reason.

Could it be that Brad Pitt is just bad luck? Because everywhere he goes turns to shit.

Israel falls because of music. It's a reverse Mars Attacks! situation.

..

"Zombieland" - This Was a Lot Funnier a Decade Ago.

*I write these articles with SPOILERS.

Combining my usual line up of Van Damme, western, and comedy with Halloween month meant finding a horror comedy this week. I decided to go with Zombieland because of the recent sequel and because I haven’t seen it in years. Overall, I still enjoyed the film, but I also think it is very much a movie of the time. I hate to always bring up The Walking Dead when writing about zombie movies, but this coming out before that show premiered made it more enjoyable than it is today for me. I’m kind of burnt out with all things zombie right now thanks to The Walking Dead (a show I only watch out of habit at this point). Rewatching this reminded me of a simpler time when zombies were only in movies. I like a lot of The Walking Dead, but I wish it never happened at this point. They flooded the zombie market and now good zombie movies are not as special because zombies are everywhere. A zombie movie used to be a relatively special thing, but now zombies are everywhere, and I just don’t care as much. Oh well, at least I’ll always have the Romero movies. Those classics can never be tainted by zombie popularity.

The Fact That I Don't Have Much to Say About This Movie Says It All.

I don’t have a lot to write about this movie, mainly because of what I mentioned above. When I first saw this movie, it felt like a fresh idea. Comedy (intentional and unintentional) has always been a part of zombie movies, but this is one of the only straight up comedies (Return of the Living Dead falls into this category, as well, and is much funnier). What makes Zombieland stand out a bit is that the zombies never seem to pose a real threat to the characters. Sure, they get in hairy situations, but at no point did I think any of the leads was going to die. That’s rare in a zombie movie.

The comedy aspect makes Zombieland interesting, but it also makes it forgettable. I like laughing at zombies, but I also want a bit of realism. It feels stupid to write this, but zombie movies are funnier when the zombies are treated seriously. Turning them into clowns (literally in this film) takes away from the humor. 

Because of this, Zombieland is a movie of the moment for me. By that, I mean that when it came out I loved it. I thought it was hilarious. But a decade later, the comedy just made me smirk here and there. Nothing really made me laugh. This is the case for most comedies, so I’m not saying Zombieland is especially dated or anything. But I do bring it up because of the sequel. If a Zombieland sequel had been released, say, seven years ago, I would have made a point to see it opening weekend. Ten years later, I really don’t care about the sequel, and I plan on only watching it once it’s on video, preferably on a service I already have so I don’t have to spend extra money to watch it. As a zombie fan, that saddens me, but that’s the zombie world we live in now.

Zombieland Works Because It's Like Someone Made a Movie Based Off a Dorky Conversation About Zombies.

Despite my less than enthusiastic feelings about the series now, Zombieland is still a decently enjoyable movie (put that on a poster!). I still like it because of the basic premise, which is, “What if we did as much funny shit to zombies as we can think of?” As a dork, I have had many conversations over the years about what I would do in a zombie apocalypse. The real answer is “die in the first wave,” but I liked to humor myself and think I would be one of the survivors. In that scenario I would start thinking of funny ways to kill zombies, looking for celebrity zombies, visiting places I once enjoyed now that they’re deserted, etc. Zombieland covers all that stuff, which is why I still like it. Add to that the rules of the film, and you have a zombie movie made for zombie movie dorks. 

It seems like there are still a lot of possibilities for humor in a zombie-filled world that are unexplored in Zombieland. Perhaps I should be excited for the sequel, but I get the feeling that Double Tap is just going to be more of the same with a few new characters added. But I’ll eventually give it a chance, and hopefully I’m wrong, and the film addresses some new avenues in zombie comedy.

Why Do I Own This?

This is one that I bought back in my "must buy a movie every week" phase. I'm glad I have it to revisit, especially since I forgot most of it, but if this came out today I would not feel the need to own it.

Random Thoughts

The double tap rule should apply to every movie. Just make sure the monster or killer or whatever is dead with a few extra shots.

"Can't a guy take a dumper in peace?" First off, I like that Mike White calls it a "dumper." Second, all that happened was someone else entered the public restroom. So one is allowed in if Mike White is taking a dumper? How would anyone know?

That credits sequence is still funny and awesome.

My favorite scene from the title sequence is the tuxedo dude shooting. What is the backstory there? Why is he wearing a Casablanca tux in an outdoor industrial setting?

"You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife."

The power is still on in a lot of places in Zombieland. I've wondered about this for a while. Would the power grid just go out in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Or would it stay on until a storm took it out? Based on how often the power goes out without zombies around, I'd say it's much more likely that the power would be out once the undead did rise. I like that the lights still work in this movie, though. I don't like it when zombie movies/shows are overly dark.

The list of people that were offered cameos is awesome. Swayze, Van Damme, Pesci, Hamill, The Rock, Bacon, McConaughey. Why in God's name did Van Damme turn this down?!

Totally forgot about the gag of Eisenberg taking off on a motorcycle and immediately crashing. That was definitely a good call. I would never believe that he could ride a motorcycle. 

The power being on is essential to the ending of this movie since they end up at the theme park, but that also makes it insanely stupid. What did they expect was going to happen when they turned on an entire theme park?

Halloween Month:"The Return of the Living Dead"

*As always, I write these articles under the assumption that you’ve seen this movie, so...SPOILERS.

I had planned on revisiting this movie to fill the zombie portion of my Halloween Month series, and since James Karen just passed away, it makes even more sense to look back at this hilarious, awesome zombie movie. I already had most of the article planned out, so I’ll use the introduction to praise Karen’s performance.

James Karen is one of those “that guy” actors, but for me, he’s Frank from The Return of the Living Dead. His scenes with Freddy when they first unleash the zombie outbreak are the highlight of the film, mainly due to Karen’s insane performance. James Karen stated before that this was the most fun he ever had making a movie, and it’s easy to believe when you watch these scenes. The script is funny enough during these moments (telling Freddy to watch his mouth if he wants to keep his job...while a cadaver has come back to life and is beating on the door), but his amplified performance makes these scenes so much better. He is just losing it from start to finish. This is funny on its own, but it becomes even better when he calls Burt, since he has to calm himself down to talk to the boss. To see him go from raving lunatic (“What are we gonna do?!”  “Ahhh! We’re going to kill it!”) to nonchalant (“Burt? Frank. We have a little problem.”) is hilarious. James Karen will be missed, but he left an extensive body of work to revisit. I know I’ll be watching this performance many more times in the future.

A zombie movie for fans of zombie movies.

George Romero’s Dead series will always be #1 in my book when it comes to zombie movies. But one issue I’ve had with Romero’s films and subsequent “serious” zombie movies and shows is that apparently zombie movies do not exist in the world of zombie movies and shows. Romero can be forgiven since his films all took place within the same outbreak, but other properties have no excuse for characters being completely flummoxed by the dead coming back to life.

Think about it. If dead people started coming back to life and eating the living, we would all certainly be shocked, but we would also be thinking, “Zombies! Aim for the head!” Once again, this isn’t so much of a problem in Romero’s universe, but in other movies it gets annoying watching characters slowly figure out what’s going on. Why not just let them have prior zombie knowledge like the rest of us?

Also, let’s face facts: zombies are funny. That’s why I love zombie movies. They’re goofy. Who hasn’t stumbled around moaning, “Braaaaaaiiiiiiiins!” around Halloween? But zombies don’t talk. And zombie movies aren’t comedies. All that changed with The Return of the Living Dead.

It’s not like Return is a straightforward comedy like Zombieland or Warm Bodies, but it’s still funnier than those movies because of how the characters respond to the outbreak. First off, they reference Night of the Living Dead. And yes, they are talking about it as an actual event and not a movie, but it functions as both. As an event, it’s the reason for the barrels of zombies in the basement. As a movie, it’s the reason why they use the word zombie and know to go for the head (even though that doesn’t really work out for them). It’s still funny for the characters to respond to a zombie outbreak the same way we would.

What makes Return really funny is every character’s reactions. Whether it’s a total freak out (Frank and Freddy) or businesslike (Burt), it’s all funny. It’s funny because of the juxtaposition of people losing their minds while others treat the zombies like a common flu outbreak. Some people want to just cower in the corner and despair for the world while others want to gather up body parts and take them to their ex-Nazi (check out the decor on Ernie’s walls) crematorium buddy to destroy them.

The violence is played for laughs, too. Frank beating the half-dog with a crutch, the goofy headless zombie body, the noise the zombie makes as they saw through its neck, etc. It’s all gross and at times even disturbing, but it’s always funny. Well, it’s funny if you have a zombie sense of humor.

Which brings me to the zombies themselves. They talk! As I mentioned before, who hasn’t imitated a zombie saying, “Brains”? But this is one of the first times a movie had zombies that talked. It would be funny enough if they only said, “Brains,” but it’s hilarious when a zombie gets on the radio and asks for more paramedics, like someone ordering pizza.

Return just felt like the first time I saw a zombie movie made by someone who loved zombie movies and wanted to make something for the fans. And by doing so, the filmmakers may have made one of the most realistic zombie movies ever.

Nuking Louisville and other realistic responses to a zombie outbreak.

This movie starts with the hilarious title card above. Sure, it works as a joke on multiple levels, from claiming a movie about zombies in which a major city is nuked actually happened to making fun of the annoying habit of horror films to claim they are based on any kind of truth. But it’s fitting that the film begins with this claim because I think it might be one of the most realistic zombie movies ever made.

Let’s start with the end: Louisville, Kentucky getting nuked. First off, I live an hour away from Louisville, so it was always funny to me and my friends to see a city we know so well to be not only mentioned but nuked in a movie we liked. Let’s ignore for the moment that they claim the nuke did minimal damage (only 4,000 dead and the fallout contained by the rain) even though you see the blastwave destroy homes miles away from the impact. Ignoring all that, this is the most logical thing for the military to do in the case of such an outbreak. Sure, they don’t account for the rain actually spreading the outbreak, but it seems like a logical government solution to a zombie outbreak. Also, I love that all of this is done by calling the number on the side of a barrel.

Beyond the destruction of a midwest city, there are plenty of other elements that I found realistic that actually tie in with what made this movie funny to me. People would freak out, of course, but you would also have plenty of Burts out there, too, more worried about their reputation and loss of business.

Also, in most zombie movies no one ever calls them zombies which is unrealistic. So simply using the word “zombie” makes this movie more credible than most. Seriously, stop calling them walkers, biters, etc. We all know what they are: zombies!

The characters know what zombies are, so they attempt to kill them based on what happened in Night of the Living Dead. This is also realistic. I know that if a zombie uprising occurred in my town, I would assume that massive head trauma would kill the zombies permanently. There’s no scientific reason for me to think this; I would just be operating on pop culture knowledge. That might be stupid, but it’s not unrealistic. That said, I would never naked party in a cemetery or saw off the head of a cadaver that just came back to life. If I wasn’t home already when the zombies attacked, I would head that way as soon as possible. I would be more of a Freddy than a Burt.

Maybe I’m wrong and the zombie apocalypse would be a much more somber affair. But if it happened under the circumstances it did in this film, I think it would play out just as it does in the movie. And sure, none of it would be funny to us in the moment, but you know the first few hours of a zombie outbreak would be pretty damn zany. It wouldn’t be one of those “Someday we’ll laugh about this” situations (mainly because everyone would probably die), but us zombie movie fans would be able to appreciate the humor among the horror. That’s what makes The Return of the Living Dead so special. The filmmakers knew the zombie apocalypse would be pretty funny.

Do I regret buying this?

Nope. This is another one I’ve purchased twice now. I had it on DVD and recently upgraded to the special edition blu ray. By the way, the special features are pretty damn extensive. There are multiple commentaries, and there’s a great documentary that’s longer than the actual movie.

Random Thoughts

All skeletons come from India.

“I like death.”

“I like death and sex!”

“He got a job? What a dick!”

“Leak? Hell, no. These things are made by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers!”

*Leak erupts*

“Oh, fuck!”

The punks are hilarious. Everyone is so over the top.

Talking about the half-dog on the floor: “What are we going to do?!”

“We're going to kill it!”

Burt is pretty damn calm about a zombie outbreak.

That headless corpse is hilarious. The image alone is funny, but when it rises up it seems to look around before it runs off. Also, it has a Ricky Bobby situation as it does not appear to know what to do with its hands.

“Watch that third step. It's a bitch.”

Chekhov's bitch of a third step…

The main theme/zombie ash spreading music is very Carpenter-esque. Or maybe I just have Carpenter on the brain.

I love the skeleton opening its mouth right as “Do you want to party?” starts on the soundtrack.

Talking zombies are the best.

“I don't have to tell you anything, dick brain.”

It's pronounced Lou Uh Vull, not Lou E Veel.

The movie does a montage of its own scenes at the end...I like it. More movies should do this.